P is for complete Prick !!!

So I went and stayed with my mate J last night , we were up till six in the morning talking and throwing back vodka like there was no tomorrow , I think she's ok . It's one hell of a trip when you lose someone that close ... I left this afternoon to go to work , she was surrounded by her Austrian relatives all staring into space !!! . A lot got said last night and it made me realise a few things too and also reminded me of the day my Dad died and the fucked up events surrounding it .... It's about time I told somebody about this ...

So I'm in the studio working with this guy P.. ( I would love to name and shame this prick , but in doing so I could reveal my own identity !! ) , doing Music for T.V. adverts for blue chip companies , HSBC , BMW , McDonalds, blagh blagh blagh !!! Fukin good work if you can get it , were talking like 10-20,000 quid a month here !!! , anyway I come off the phone after getting the " your dad has just died !!!! " call and I'm in a state of shock to say the least , and P.. walks back into the studio , anyway the conversation goes a little like this ...

HIM : "Are you all right , you look a little pale ? "

ME : " No i'm so far from all right mate my Dad's fukin dead " ..

Him : " O shit mate , I'm, really sorry , it happens to the best of us "

Me : " listen I'm gonna go home mate , I can't work "

Him : " Errr errr , no mate we've got this deadline to work "

Me : " Mate my Dad 's fukin dead "

Him : " yeah but we can't let this client down "

Me : " MATE !!! my DAD"S just fukin died "

Him : " yeah but the client "

Me : " Fuck the Fukin client , I'm in no fukin mood to write fukin happy fukin burger fukin music at the fukin moment thank you very fukin much !!! " ..

Him : " mate , I really can't deal with letting this client down "

At this point I fukin explode !!!

ME : " "

Him : " o yeah well thanks a fukin bunch mate " ..

I walk out of the studio in disbelief and go home ( via the boozer ) ...

The Cunt ( and I do not underestimate the use of this word !!! ) , never call's me again ...

Fukin piece if shit !!!

His P.A. makes me wait fukin month's for the rest of the money i'm due from him as well ...

??????

I saw this guy at a party about three month's ago ...

Him : " I've really missed you " , meaning , " I'm not landing the big contracts by myself anymore "

Me : " Take your fukin adverts and stick them right up your arse you cunt , sideways !!! "

Some people are just fukin unbelievable !!!!

Bed !!

Night !!!

O babe , what can I possibly say .....

Just had a call from my long time mate J ( girl ) , who's in Thailand for eight month's, but she's not in Thailand , she's back here , she's back here coz her mum's just passed away .. she's on the phone to me and I just don't know what to say to her , poor poor dear .. I feel for you so much .. I lost my parents four years ago and It damned near killed me .. It cost me my work , my sanity and my beautiful American girlfriend ( who I'm still deeply in love with ) .... ( I don't blame her I would have left myself !!! ) , I lost it for three fukin years , nonstop .... my god I was such an angry little boy .. I would'nt listen to anybody !!!! , still don't ...
So I think I'll go and spend the weekend with her .. She's gonna need somebody ...

Time's like these sorta put your own shit in perspective ..

Live now kids , cos when it's gone it's so fukin gone !!!!!!!!!!!!!!

J Mate , you have such a long , long journey ahead of you ...

I'll try and be there tho !!!! , I truly , truly will mate ....

Time Travelling !! Doctor fukin Who ????

Oh my god , what the fuck happened there !!!

I'm back , after the weekend , don't know what to say about that one really ...

I do know I had to go and mix live bands last night after not much sleep , for ( Sat, Sun , Mon ) , I guess two nights...

Could'nt even see the fukin band let alone fukin mix them , I remember somebody saying how good they sounded .. ( are you fukin mad !!! ) .....

Have acquired , one Jacket , one T-shirt and one I-pod not containing my I-tunes library...

Have lost , one Jacket , one T-shirt , one I-pod containing my I-tunes library and many many braincells !!! ..

Sooo I got picked up on Sat night , and we drove and drove and drove and drove , and fukin drove !!!...
Drinking in the car ( not the driver tho ) , Me and C ( witch no 1. ) were pissed before we got to the party !!!
Arrived in Middle England at some Big fuckoff house , realised we'd drank all the Booze ( Hic !!! ) , then spent the next two hours searching for a offy ( Off- Licence ) , (( USA = , Liquor store , Fukin A )) .
Found one, returned to the party , got lost , nearly had to repeat Part a. ,
Eventually found party , entered party , got plotted in the kitchen did a few lines and then , then , then you fukin tell me , because I can't remember ???? .

Obviously went fukin time travelling !!!

I remember waking in the middle of C & S on Sunday night , we rolled around , watched DVD's , generally had a lovely time , but not in Middle England , and not at the girls house , I guess we aquired a house or something on the way home , and very nice it was too.. Right in the middle of North Kensington ??? , little roof garden and everything .... Absolutely no sign of the fukin owners ?/.
Left a little thank you note and left Monday afternoon ...

C , came to the gig with me , S went off to jump around the roses in the park or something ?? ..

C , came home with me Last night , left this morning , went to the studio ...

And now i'm home again ....

Umm, not good really , not good at all !!

Better skin up then .....

Double Bubble Toil and Trouble !! ( sic )

Yeh !! , I'm one thousand hits old , how cool is that ...

Technology is mad , I"ve just been talking to my mate in New York with VOIP , at the same time he's streaming me the video of his gig on Thursday night .. That's fukin nuts ... If you were to tell someone ten years ago that this would be the future , they would have told you to fuck right off !!! .

Sooo I'm meeting up with my Lady Witch friends tonight , haven't seen them in ages , and there taking me to a secret location party thing , I'm intrigued to say the least . Last time we met up , I didn't get home for three days , and spent a day in bed with two of them , which was fun , but also hard fukin work I can tell you !! ... There so cute though how could I ever possibly resist . Actually come to think of it I didn't have much choice ( errmm !! ) ... I can see them now , dancing round the bed like little minx's on happy sex juice .. O dear what am I letting myself in for .. Must get home by tomorrow night tho , I have shit to do . Yeah like that's going to happen !@££$%@..

I'll report back soon .

I know this is going to be a mad one , I can feel it ..

Calling the man , can I have extra tomato sauce with that please ?? ...

Listening to : Radio Head / Amnesiac ( Pyramid song ) , you Boy's nearly make me cry ... Fukin genius Lads , fukin , genius.!!!!

Skin up !!!

Pigeon's are twats ...

Sooo , The club I run open's again tonight , and I'm supposed to be there , but i'm not cos i'm just too knackered , so i've sent santa's little helper off to do my job instead !! .. Still can't believe I shagged the singer ( mate ) , she's been on the phone today , " so how's it going with MY album " , your fukin album mate , you've like done guest BV's on one fukin track for crying out loud !!!! .. " yeah I think we should maybe's put more vocal on this bit and a bit more guitar on that bit and get rid of that guy on track nine , cos I can come and re-sing it for you " , Arrrrr !!! . Never !, ever ! , ever ! , EVER !! shag the fukin talent mate , I'm now doomed for a life of backseat record production from a half decent session singer with delusion's of grandeur , and all over a sympathy fuck for Fuck's sake !! , and she sucked in bed ( no , actually she did !! ) ... Help !!! .. Oh dear , full moon tomorrow night , the freaks will be out ... A word of warning to all , NEVER go near Portobello road when it's a full moon , I know I lived there for a few years , and it can get seriously freaky , there's a lay line that runs right down the middle, what with that and the crack problem down there No ! No ! No ! ...

A pigeon shit on my head today ..... Cunt !!! , Fukin vermin twat !!!! ...

I've probably caught toxoplasmosis of the fukin brain now !!! , could easily happen you know, especially if the pigeon has recently eaten ( not more than a week ago in the worst case scenario ..), a toxoplasmosis infected cat !!! Yeah man it happens , I know these things ...

Conclusion : Pigeons are twats...

Sooo I might actually stay in tomorro night ... ( what !!! what !!! , was that me , who the fuck said that ?? )...

No , to be honest , I done so much shit this week , that I just feel the need to be by myself and watch some TV , read a book , wash my hair, even do some knitting . NAAAAA !!! , FUCK THAT , i'm meeting some lady friends and were getting fucked up man Tee Hee !!. Freaks or no freaks I'm out o here ......

Eating : Pasta a la carbonara a la Me !!

Listening to : The Rise And Fall Of Ziggy Stardust And The Spiders From Mars ( and why not ) , I have some of the early demo's ... I hate Bowies later work ( OK , OK , no throwing bottle's from the back please i'm fukin really fragile !!!! ) , this shit rocks like a big shittty rock thing ( from Mars ) , a big fat fukin martian shitty rock spider thinggymabobbly ...

From Mars ...

Allrighty ....

Skin up ...

Pissed rantings

So yeah full moon coming , we all get lighter , so therefore ??? , been out for two day's , slept with the singer I'm hiring at the mo ( not good ) , never mix .... Trouble ahead .. I must tell you about this guy I meet on the train, a rev , we had this mad conversation about religion , I'm sorta agnostic , my sister sets up churches in Scotland but I think it's all bullshit , I aint that Nieve ( can't spell ) , you can't tellme that all this is the creation of one being , it's far to random .. I would like to think , that if there was a god and I got to the gates of heaven , that he would be wise enough to understand why I don't believe ( if you know what I mean??? ) I'm pissed .. can't believe I shagged the singer , oops


Bed ..

Oooooo

Anyone care for a spin ?

Not back in the studio till tomorrow , so I thought i'd take the time to tell you all a story ...

He's going to tell , He's going to tell . He's going to tell , He's going to tell etc .etc. etc...

So sit down, have a cup of tea and you at the back be fukin quiet !!!!

Are you ready, then I'll begin ....

Sooo were driving back from this massive rave gig in Scotland ( we rocked it ) , about 7,000 people ( thats about half of scotland to you and me (( only kidding !!! )) , I can see those axe's waving at the back. ) errhem !!. Anyway it's snowing buckets , and were all high as kites on Ecstacy , LSD , and probably anything else we've laid our hands on , and the snows all white and fluffy , like being in heaven ( but Scotland really ) .. And i'm driving along looking at the perspective of the road thinking , " how the fuck am I going to fit this through that " , Acid shit . When all of a sudden the exhaust fall's of the van ( woohoo !! ) .. Sooo we slide to a stop at the side of the road ,collect the silencer , have a snowball fight , break open the Guitar string's , fix the offending item ( with guitar string ) , have another snowball fight , and drive on our way ( rock-n-roll).. Nothing new there ( I hear you say ), and you would be right ....
By this time the snow is pelting down , and it's getting really Icy ( or is it ? ) ... I have no idea how fast I'm going , coz the dashboard looks like fukin mission control ( best avoided at all cost ), and it's about five in the morning ( seemingly ) ...
"Eeeerr" says my co-pilot "that's the fukin turnoff we need " , and he's right , so we shoot off up the sliproad ..
I apply the brakes ... NOTHING !!! , shit , apply again , Slippyfukinslide , " Holly shit " , once more, wiggle wiggle skid slither , "Fukity fukin fuck !!! ", " I know I'll turn the wheel " , really , really good plan Stan ... The van launches itself , like some rabbid fukin icedancer into a pirouette worthy of an olympic champion , still in a straight line but with an added gyroscopic spin-tastic affect , I'm getting well giddy here ( looking good tho , sorta Star Trek warp speed thing going by right in front of me ) .. At this point Zebbiddy fucknuts says " Slow down mate that's the turnoff " , " err yeah okay then , I tell you what lets stop for tea and scones and you can sunbathe kid , would you like that , Oh you would , nice ! " nutter !!! , I turn the wheel again , a completely pointless act at this point , but by some miracle of miracles then van come's out of hyperspace, right's itself and decides to take the right exit off the roundabout .. I take a deep breath , check my pant's ( numbchucks is looking for new CD to play , while lighting a joint ) and we drive off into the night ... Twenty minutes passes and fukin chuckle brother in the passenger seat pipes up, " Urr , did that really just happen ?? " , " err yes mate I think it just fukin did !! " Fukin doughnut ....

Thus endeth the story ..

Right ,off you go then , back to work , and no spitting on the way out please ! .

Listening too : The Gorillaz " Demon Days " ... Yes I know it's not out yet , Perks of the job people .. Dirty Harry's fukin brilliant Damon, love the kiddies choir bit , spot on mate !! ... Buy it !!!

Mondays Top Five

Top Five Things I hate About Today..

1. That fucker who keeps telling me the cheque's in the post ,
   it's been in the fuckin post for two month's now and I'm getting a little bit pissed with you, I bent over backwards to meet your deadline you fuck, I'm giving you 1 week then I'm pulling the master's and saying fuck you and fuck your money .....
2. People who don't put my name on records I've worked on .. I'm not hear to carry your puny DJ fukin name on the back of my talent ... Geddit !!!!
3. That women who checked about 3 million things at the five or less items queue in Tesco's !!±!£$!!
4. The fact that the sun is out , and I'm sat at home chasing money ....
5. The Fukin Chinese girl across the hall jamming the router and hogging all the bandwidth..It's an 8 meg line , what the fuck are you downloading in there, (probably fukin music ) and she's not even at home goddamit ... I'm letting you use the line as a favor cos BT wont touch you honey remember .... Hiy korumba chop chop !!
   

Top Five Thing I luv about today..

1. The sun is out and it's beautiful....
2. I'm listening to Radio 1 , and there playing one of my tunes ....
3. I'm not in dept .... at all Horrah !!! ( apart from a £300 phone bill )
   
4. I have a date with a gorgeous gwirlll ...
5. I didn't get arrested on Sat night .....

Listening to : Me !!!

Oh No, Soho !!!

If I have a brain left can someboody please tell me where it is cos I can't find it ....

Sooo another fine weekend of absolute carnage .. That was a top party on Fri night apart from the fact that although we had booked the whole top floor of a private members club , the managers had other plans and made it a free for all .. so we had people we didn't know drinking our free ( prepaid by the host's ) fukin champagne all night .. Lucky for them , expensive for us ... Left there about five in the morning and went back to my mate A's ( boy ) house where my mate C ( girl ) decided to throw a hissy fit ... " O woe is me , nobody loves me , you lot just have no Idea about how hard it is " etc. etc. etc ..
I'm not being funny C, but get the fuck over yourself , you are older then six I do believe .. So after about four hours of trying to calm her down and stop her crying and bawling and stomping round the house , I thought " fuck this mate " and got a cab home alone ...

Got in about 9 am , couldn't sleep, so did some more drugs and hit the pub at opening time .. Good skills .. 1 no. boy scout hardcore trooper badge reqd thus ....

Anyway left the pub about 8pm , tooootallly slooshedd, got in another cab , met up with a few mates , all on the same downward spirral , and went to Soho , Oh no!! , Soho !!!

Absolutely lashed by this point , so rang the man !! " What Again? " , he says, " err yeah kid again " , I say...

So after a brief hour , mainly trying to stand up and chat up girl at same time ( no mean feat , I can tell you ) , he arrives and ally kerblam !!, as if by magic were all completely sober and ready to start again ... All good ...

My mate FT takes us all into this really posh members bar .. Far too bling for my liking .. So we interact and socialise, as you do ... and I've brought the girl from the pub with me , very pretty this one ( taking her for dinner next week ) ..

Soo, It gets to about 3 in the morning and another mate TC decides it would be a good idea to start dancing on the table , but the table has other ideas and decides it would be a good idea to fukin collapse , Oh Fuck .. TC lands on a bunch of model's from New York and cleans out " Oh ", about a grands worth of Crystal champagne ... I pretend not to be with TC as he gets handbagged to death in a Flurry of pretty things and Prada ,( not so fukin pretty covered in Crystal though Ha !!! ) and gets thrown out of the club .. By this point I'm laughing so hard that I get thrown out the club , I guess laughing in this kind of place is fukin socially unexceptable Eh!!! Fukin planks ..... and about two minutes later the rest of the gang are ejected..

We start to walk away , when four of the NY Model's chaparones come flying out of the club ready to do battle .. BATTLE !!!!

We get into an allmighty ruckus in the middle of Soho , ( Oh No, Soho !!! ) , which leaves four very stunned chaperone type people lying in the gutter of dreams ... We fukin warned you lad's, you can't say we didn't ...

At this point the Rosser's ( police ) arrive , and my mate says " youv'e just missed em mate they ran off down there .. " , so off toddle the little men in blue, all serious and profesional .. See Ya !!! .... we pile into three cabs and off we go to my mates house.. Lost the girlie tho but have number ( called today , she missed all the action thankfully , date still on ... ) ..

Left my mates house about 8 this morning and here I am , writing with dearest Apple Mac ...

Gonna make Curry A la me for tea .... Need some spice in my system ..

All ready for another week of joy in London ...

Listening to : Dick Dale And His Del-Tones " King of the surf guitar " , sounds exactly like how my head feels ...

Say no more ....

Be cool D , " no really can you ? "

Hoorah !!! . Finished work for the week .. So tomorrow I can chill , do some washing , have a nice lunch , just generally have a fukin me day.. Superb .. Today was stressfull , I'm trying to work and the phone just won't stop ringing .. Ring fukin ring !! , " can you get me tickets for " , "can you get me on the guest list for " , " can you introduce me to " , " can you " , "can you " , "can you " , can you all just fuck the fuck off , i'm trying to mix a fukin tune here people, already !!! ....

Zero days left to detox , I'm gonna get fukin slaughtered tomorrow night , no more fukin Evien for me !!!

Soo meeting everyone at a private members bar for my mate H's pre wedding drink , so it's going to be a jollyup of gargantuan proportion ... she's not inviting us to the wedding ( where all far too mad for that ) , grown ups and music people really don't mix to well ... we live in a sort of parallel universe to the rest of planet earth , us and those goofy film type bods ...

Lots of people , I haven't seen in ages , lot's of things for us to see , me and you , you and me ( doo doo --- doo doo .. )..

Funny really the last time I was at that club was about eight years ago , I was with my ex ex D , at the time we were skint and had saved up for a big night out , and were on the roof terrace and It's a beautiful evening , you know sun setting , really still air , lovely , anyway D get's out the drugs and lays them on the table , racks out about eight lines, puts the wrap to one side ... and then from absolutely fukin nowhere this gust of wind descends from the heavens and blows the fukin lot out onto the street below , Fuck , Fuck and double Fuck , talk about a fukin show stopper mate !! then we had a row , " I'm not god dearest , I didn't order the fukin wind " , and went home. Do not pass go , do not get high , go straight to the dog house , no supper ....

So I think tomorrow night can be a tribute to that splendid memory of D's non-ability to stay cool under extreme moments of shitness !!!! Yeah , I like that !!

Bring it in ....

Listening to .. The Flamingo's " I only have eye's for you "

And I do of course , That's if you happen to be fit and stood right in front of me !!

where's the urb !!

The fluffy relationship clincher .....

Sooo got a call from last weekends indulgence , and she's saying the sexiest things to me , which is all very lovely babe , but i'd sort of made up my mind in the restaurant when you were talking about you and your mothers bet ( to see who could collect the most teddy bears ) .... Now I'm not saying i'm not a fan of the old ursus maxifluffius but ... and thats a big but ( like my ex girlfriends Ha !! ) , I'm in no imediate hurry to build them a fukin shelter ... Period ! . So I told her I was gay ...

Shame lovely legs that one ....

Next please !

Come back my American beauty all is forgiven ..

I knew I shouldn't have thrown a bottle of wine at that taxi ( hell of a shot tho , I reckon , O , fifty , maybe sixty meters )..

I'll blogg that story sometime..

Roll on the fukin weekend ..

This detox is more of a headfuck then doing the druggggs..

Better skin up then ...

Off to view some TV on the Seismic-Set-O-Matic 4000....

Listening to Pink Floyd ( Meddle ) .... I'm not worthy !!!

Not listening to : Anything that Simon fukin Cowl has had his grubby little commercial money making fukin hands on, WANKER !!!!!

There off my chest ... phew !!

Time is a great healer !!!

No , it's fukin not !!! , woke up this morning ,slipped on new TV instruction book and smashed my fukin head open on the alarm clock , so therefore : Time is not a great fukin healer !!! ... allright ....

So ' I'm on a detox till Friday , arrrggghhh , no drugs , no drink and healthy food all the way !! , roll on Friday..

Eating : pasta A la Me!!

Drinking : This strange clear liquid Evian shit , doesn't do anything , does not work ... not even remotely pissed !! , nothing fukin natural about that Mr Evian person .. French fukin twat ( only kidding , French birds are fit , no really ! )...

Gonna kick back and watch a bit of Vast-o-Vision ...

Have : Olives and cheese and bread and humous and cheesecake !!

Don't have : A bird to shag !! , what's that about mate ?

Listening to : Radiohead (OK computer ) , An album that all others should be judged by ....

Not listening to : Daft Punk ( human after all ) , sorry lads but it's toss , you really should know better .. That would never have left my studio in a million fukin years and should never have left your's . Bin meet album , album meet fukin Bin ... Sorry Bin !!

What the fuck !!!*&^%£$

Skin up

For sale : Mobile cinema

Arrived home after a day in the studio , to find new TV being delivered , think I might have overdone this one .. It wasn't that big in the fukin showroom .. was it ? , nearly killed the geezers who brought it up the stairs...

ermm yeah , where the fuck am I going to put this thing then .. , I'll go blind

Home fukin cinema , It's a home fukin multiplex !!!!
It say's store box for future reference , what the fuck !! I'll need another flat ...

And there's polystyrene all over the fukin place ... You know those stupid little beads .. On the floor , in the kitchen , in the bathroom , in the bedroom , on my dinner , in my fukin hair goddammit !!!

Right i'm gonna need to hire some fukin cleaners for this shit , already clogged up the hoover !!!
Shit help .. I'm fukin drowning ... It wasn't meant to end this way was it ...

On the fukin computer keyboard , in my bloody sock's .... This is a new sport ... fukin olympic TV unwrapping !!!

Arrrrrgh !!!!!!

Think I spotted the remote control a couple of hour's ago.

If I plug this thing in , it's gonna wipe out half of the London grid ...

Errmm woohoo !!!!! nothing to see here , move along please .....

I need a spliff man !!!!!!!

Listening to : absolutely fuck all , cos I've lost the stereo !

!!!

So i'm viewing other bloggs and I'm wondering , " does anyone have anything fukin interesting to say out there " , you know funny stories etc etc etc , come on bring it on !!!!!!! , you get one shot at this life people ... say something , please ......



Ok I take it back .. just ranting ...

Smoking

Listening to :Smokers delight .. Nightmares on wax ..

The opening track Nights introlude , is probably the best piece of electronic ambient music ever writen..... period !!!!!

You gotta hear it


http://www.warprecords.com/

Meow ( cat like )

So that was fun , seemingly she's called Cathy and we rolled in about ten this morning ( really can't remember ) , she's having a shower and then I'm taking her out for diner , cool .. she's awfully hot and yes , she love's having her toes sucked ( she purrs like a kitten ) ..

Meoooow

"Come to the shower .... "

Errr okay babe

see ya

Nice

O my god !!! , what a weekend .. woke up with another strange girl in my bed , she looks good from the back , little pigtail's and everything , I like that .. O and she's just turned round , Oooo !! Hello where did you come from gorgeous .. might just have to go back to bed then .. Anyway , went to my mates birthday party , absolute carnage .. Lots of very nice women , lots of very nice drugs and some interesting chat to boot ... can't remember much ... sorta remember shouting at the horses in the Grand National , but a bit of a blur after that !!! O dear !! , remember ordering six pizza's at three in the morning , of course nobody ate any , silly spur of the moment thing , the pizza boy came into the house ( and left at 7 this morning Hoorah ! ) , go on son !!! , Ouch my head hurts ... Now who is that girl in my bed , I know lets get married ( i Think not ) .. It's all too much !!!! , she has great legs tho , there sticking out of my quilt , I'm going to go and lick her toes in a min ( seems like the right thing to do ), hope she likes that ... O she's turned over again , and let out the sexiest moan , and she's hot and i'm hot and why the fuck am i talking to my computer ..

What the fuck !!!!!!

Bed

Now !!!!!

Night of the BBC tosser ....

What a pant's night that was then, three completely shit bands , no ladies out , trouble with the P.A. and some ex wanker BBC sound engineer trying to tell me my job all fukin night , How I did not deck him I do not know... Listen prick face you might have sunk the drums back in the mix in the Seventees , but nowadays we like them upfront .. And if I want to put a little more 5K on the vocals I'll put a little more 5k on the fukin vocals , and if I decide that I want the bass to rattle the whole fukin club the bass will be rattling the whole fukin club ... In fukin yesteryear you might not have been able to push your puny fuckin BBC ears to the limit but our generation likes it FUKIN LOUD .. The fukin fukers in the moshpit tell's me that they fukin do ALLRIGHT MUPPET HEAD !!!!!!! No wonder the BBC can't make decent TV anymore what with wankers like that still around ! And I don'f fukin care if you once engineered fukin Wings .. Use them mate, fly the fuck away ....

What the fuck !£$@!!£$$%£

So i'm in a good mood , can't you tell ...

Got paid early from a job , So tomorro I'm going shopping for some new clothes , a new TV , a haircut , take some mates out for a meal , meet the ladies and then get properly fukin hammered !!!

Going to bed

Arrrgh !!!!

Better go to bed then

So Hoorah people , we roll into Fri morning , the weekend starts here .. Just got home from work so I'm knackered ...
Working on some really cool music at the moment . ( can't tell thou , might ruin my cred if client's get wind of this blogg!! )..
Now It get's tough coz I have to reverse my body clock and do some F.O.H tomorro night .. ( that's engineering live bands at the venue in laymann speak (( Front Of House )) ) , should be a good night , I can be at work and get pissed .. Sorted ! , there is a god !! ask my sister ? .... I'm sure there will be tales to tell all . And then it will be Sat ... Meeting all the ladies for some fun and games and drugs and sex and whatever else we find in tow .. Hoorah ! Lion's and tigers and bears Hoorah ( urm yeah !! What the fuck ) ..
Next week is going to be really full on .. I'm getting more work than I can deal with at present , but I'm a trooper so it'll all pan out , just don't want to say no to the wrong people ( and yes to the wrong people too ! ) decisions, decisions ..

Rolling a spliff , doin my thing .... Just spyed a leftover line on top of the monitor ..

Urmmm , yeah , fukin A !!!!

O dear ,

bed

Now !!!!

Tredmill trauma

So after a day in the studio , I go to the gym .. Yes I maybe a cokehead, but I always , A. keep myself buff and B. eat properly... Anyway In the gym there's this really fit bird on the tredmill doing her buff thing , when all of a sudden she drops her Ipod , loses control , and woosh! goes flying of the back of the machine ... Ha ! , So she picks herself up, dust herself off and checks to see if there's anyone looking ( there is , the whole fukin gym , but she fails to clock this as we are all to busy looking away and trying not to giggle ) , so she collects her IPod and gets back on the machine . But the silly cow has forgotten that the fuckin thing is still running , so woooosh !! she fly's off the back again . While airborn her Ipod gets caught in a rubber plant and she half fukin strangles herself .... Hilarious !!! Poor dear goes red as a radish and me and the rest of the gym nearly piss ourself's laughing .

Proper doughnut !!!

Skinnn up ....

The great race

Been to see the man , getting high ,this is when it gets good .. So I see some of you are reading this , hope you don't think bad of me , I never intended it to be this way , had a perfect childhood , was never abused , never beaten up ( by my parent's ) , never considered myself to be a junkie , still don't , but i guess some path's stray .. I 'm happy with my lot , I mix sone of the world's best band's .. I work hard and play harder still , I don't bring this shit into the country , not a dealer not a pusher ( apart from myself ) , so don't think bad ... I guess I see my own life as a humen experiment into what we are capable of ... As the most intelligent species on the planet we have that right .. If ever I get down , I just remember that once ( before my birth ) , I took part in the most important race of my life and won ( me verses 40.000.000 other sperm ) , so if i can get thru that I think I can get thru anything ... We all did , but we seem to forget .. We are so fukin special it's just not funny ...

Wish I could remember that , it would have been an epic battle !

Gonna get higher still and chill ( i like to do that it's fun ) ....

Goodnight all

DOALCH signing off

Am I still in the band then ?

My mate C ( No.2 ) , dropped in this afternoon , cooked her lunch , rolled around a bit then chilled , we got talking and she reminded me of the first gig I did with this band in Brighton ...

So I'm doing coke in the toilets with this girl (classy), and the fukin bouncer crashes thru the door, sees the coke, gives me loads of shit for about 20 mins and then frog marches me out of the club, but on the way out the owner grabs the bouncer, " what the fuck are you doin ", " O yeah says the bouncer ", big fukin smile on his face, " caught this little fucker doing charlie in the bogs ", " O yeah " says the owner, " good job he's in the fukin band then ! , they were supposed to be on stage 20 mins ago , you big fukin plank " , and then he fires the bouncer .. TOP !!!!

So after the gig I go back to the hotel (with the bird ), and discover I don't have a room . So me, completely off my head, thinks it will be all right to borrow the lead singers room , as he's still partying at the club..

After blagging the room key, me and this girl get it on in the bathroom, I run a bath for the two of us, and she drags me into the bedroom, we start fukin on the bed , but have forgotten to stop the bath .... (get the picture ) , anyway , half an hour passes and I'm giving it to this girl doggy style and the door burst open , it's the receptionist , and the manager , and the fukin lead singer ... oops ! , Apparently the room downstairs is completely fukin flooded as well as the one underneath that, double oops !! . So the manager kicks the whole band out of the hotel ... treble oops!!! .

On our departure from hotel, the lead singer pulls me to one side and says, " about the gig kid .... your in! "

Fukin superb !

Where's that fukin Cab ?

Nursing an incredibly bad hangover this morning , head feels like a bag of spanners . I think my brain went home in a cab a couple of hours before i did , actually I think it may have pulled a bird and stayed out ? , I'll give it a call . Far too many idiots out last night for my liking, some fucking prick wouldn't leave me alone , " got any coke mate , go on give me a line ?" , "fuck off doughnut , buy your own fukin snizz blagg boy " , " you only get free if either A. your fukin gorgeous , or B. your a mate , and your not so fuck off ", " yeah but go on mate ? " , " listen kid rearange this well know phrase or saying , OFF - FUCK " , fukin idiot.. " have a word with yourself mate " ..
Nearly clocked him ...

Bad bad bad head man !!!

On a good note , meeting some ladies for Sunday lunch , ( The WIV kensal ). Sunday Lunch , roast beef , Yorkshire puddings , gravy , plenty of wine and spotted dick to finish . I love being British , It really has it's moments .. Then it's home to watch a DVD and read the Sunday Times .... Luv it

Shit i'm really late

Where's is that fukin Cab ???

So Jo came home..

Jo came back with me last night ( big big smile ) , Hit the filth button about 3.30 this morning tee hee , my god there are some hot women on this planet !! , she's still in bed as I write , she looks so pretty man , so fuckin pretty , it's a gorgeous day in London , the sun's streaming through my window filtering thru Jo's strawberry blonde hair , now there's a sight you don't see every day .. it's a pity that she's going to the States soon ( our loss , big loss ) do us proud pretty thing, fly away and live your life .. I'll wake her with a cup of tea soon ( love that bit ) she's a fun morning person , always was , or maybe I'll just watch .. then well go for lunch, there's a nice Italian down the road , gonna sit on the balcony and enjoy the rays and get pissed on the vino ..

So last night , Portobello Road , yeah man ! , fun was had by all , the ladies were out in full force , fluttering by , the music was good , the drugs were better , didn't spend a minute alone , the wine flowed and not a dickhead in sight , pure class . Don't usually go out Friday, normally run a club ( which could be classed as out , . but you have to stay sober to run a club ) , the clubs closed for a couple of weeks at the mo .. again no names ( that would be telling ) .. Clue 2 : Holborn ( long way to go yet ) , hang in there ....

Listening to Nick Drake ( Riverman ) , such a good fukin songwriter , tragic really , poor boy , seemingly they do a tribute concert for him in Tanworth in Arden ( his birth place ) every couple of years , all the congregation of the parish church sing his song's ..... now that sounds like a pilgrimage to me ...

Wakey wakey Beautiful thing , I'm c'min to get ya !!!!....

Who buys a red fuckin sportscar ?

Recovering !!!

Decided to take myself for a pint by the river in Richmond ( nice place , but no scene wotsoever ) ... sat outside the pub and watched some dick in a red Farrari parade up and down , up and down ! , up and down !! ,up and fukin down !!! what a fuckin prick ... I mean who buys a red fuckin sportscar ?? , have some fukin class you fukin doughnut .

Finished off last nights gear in the pub .. suddenly everything became a lot shinier , shiny ! shiny ! , It's amazing , one line and the world becomes a brighter place , the barmaid you didn't fancy half an hour ago becomes the best thing since sliced bread and you can actually be arsed to talk to people you don't know , or should I say talk at them ... London can be a very unfriendly place so it helps to talk to some other fuker who's not in the music bizz...

I mean , really , who buy's a red fukin sports car ??...

Need to clean flat , god know's wot I was doing last night , this place is a real fuckin mess !!

Missing the ex today , always do when the sun comes out , always do , always will .. stupid fukin idiot kid , really fukin stupid .

up and down , up and down , Wanker ...

Going over west soon , meeting the ladies of sin , wonder which one comes home with me tonight , depends who want's the coke the most I suppose .. Still what do I care their all fukin gorgeous , think I might like to take Jo home , love those eyes kidda , luv em !!

I mean fukin red !!!!!!

What the fuck !!