The Benny scale of fuckedness !!
Soo on Sunday night we invented the Benny scale of fuckedness ...
Me and T's rating scheme , 0-1000 of how nutted we can get at the weekend ...
a sort of carnageanonometer for the masses ??
0 = Stayed in
100 = Crap night out !!
150 = Where's the fukin dealer ?
250 = Moderately good weekend , not too many drugs , not too much hassle ...
350 = Getting there , slowly !!
500 = Definitely getting there , lots of drugs , lots of music , lots of women and a good fukin time being had by all...
600 = We blasted into space on a big rocket ship and have returned to tell the tale ( allbeit several day's later ) !!!
700 = Ooops !! Do I know you , why are you in my bed ? What policeman ? How much ? You didn't did you ???
800 = You painted it what colour ? No , that's not my car ? That much really ? What fukin pavement ? You are having a laugh aren't you ? ......
900 = When ? Where ? How ? Why ? Orange you say , you could be right , mine's a JD and coke please !!!!
950 = Call a fukin ambulance , It's not my fault , it was the hippo on the scooter in the corner with the tablelamp !!!
970 = Oooo ! ( wibble wobble !! )
1000 = Nobody gets this far mate ... Nobody , Elvis has left the building , actually he's left the fukin planet !!
And that's about the size of that . From now on , all weekends and probably all post will be followed by the Benny scale of fuckedness ...
Thank you and goodnight !!!!
Me and T's rating scheme , 0-1000 of how nutted we can get at the weekend ...
a sort of carnageanonometer for the masses ??
0 = Stayed in
100 = Crap night out !!
150 = Where's the fukin dealer ?
250 = Moderately good weekend , not too many drugs , not too much hassle ...
350 = Getting there , slowly !!
500 = Definitely getting there , lots of drugs , lots of music , lots of women and a good fukin time being had by all...
600 = We blasted into space on a big rocket ship and have returned to tell the tale ( allbeit several day's later ) !!!
700 = Ooops !! Do I know you , why are you in my bed ? What policeman ? How much ? You didn't did you ???
800 = You painted it what colour ? No , that's not my car ? That much really ? What fukin pavement ? You are having a laugh aren't you ? ......
900 = When ? Where ? How ? Why ? Orange you say , you could be right , mine's a JD and coke please !!!!
950 = Call a fukin ambulance , It's not my fault , it was the hippo on the scooter in the corner with the tablelamp !!!
970 = Oooo ! ( wibble wobble !! )
1000 = Nobody gets this far mate ... Nobody , Elvis has left the building , actually he's left the fukin planet !!
And that's about the size of that . From now on , all weekends and probably all post will be followed by the Benny scale of fuckedness ...
Thank you and goodnight !!!!
posted by london cokehead at 10:01 pm
1 Comments:
Sweet jesus you're f*cked up. I love it. I f*cking love it. Please don't stop blogging. Maybe a bit less blow, though, just because we wouldn't want you dying young. You're just too hilarious for that.
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