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Sunday, December 31, 2006

The Year That was 2006

Sooo, 2006 is finally out of the way.

Good year/bad year?

Not bad I guess, there's a lot of shit happened this year, from a summer full of festivals, to bands, to the Record Label finally doing well, to DJ Paotto (rhymes with potato) to endless gigs and clubnights and a bit of going abroad and a lot of studio work and drugs and food and a new girlfriend and, and we'll I think that's enough really!!


Although I would've liked to have finished the new Blue Carbon Protocol (spoof band) album this year, but didn't have the time.

Ok soo the general 'likes' of this year:


Thom Yorke: The eraser (no competition really)


There has been soo many good films I've watched this year, of note:

Casino Royale
Blood diamonds
Children of Men
United 93
Perfume 'The story of a murder' ( a masterpiece of a film this one)
Why we fight
Little Miss Sunshine
The Queen (yes I did say that!)
The road to Guantanamo
Garfield 'A tale of two kitties' ( Ha! Just seeing if you were still
Inside man
World Trade Centre
An Inconvenient Truth
Rocky Balboa (yes I've seen it, and loved it!)

To name a few

Worst film of year:

Little man...fukin absolutely toss film!

Bands I've engineered live

Oooops, forgot to keep a list. Lets just say a lot.

Stuff that's pissed me off this year

The continuing rise in the cost of living in london. (It really is out of fukin control!)

Getting my ipod nicked (you bastards!!!)

Line array speaker systems (they're shite!)

The continuing War in Iraq

The smoking ban in pubs (Don't start, I don't wanna know)

Lack of aircon on the tube (fukin sort it out!)

Paying more for food with less salt in it? (What is that about??)

The shite build quality if Nikon cameras ( mine lasted about five bloody minutes)

Toss Indie bands! (we've heard it all before)


People who use mobile phones as mini stereos on the Tube/Bus/Train (just fukin stop it ok!)

Stuff wot hasn't pissed me off this year

The fact that 2006 was the year when (maybe) we started wising up to globle warming and the fact that the Peak Oil thing is gonna eventually wipe us all out if we don't start to act.

Stuff I wanna do next year

Do loads of gigs

Maybe take my own band on the road

Get a new ipod

And a Macbook

Watch the label do well

Maybe get a flat with Sweedy Gwirl

Be nice to Hedgehogs

And Hampsters (Err..maybe not!)

Have a holiday ( Would be nice)

Build a new studio

Write a book


Not do as many drugs.

And that's about the size of that really

2006 Good year/bad year?

Naaa...wicked year!!


Party in...dude!!!

Sooo, it's that time of year again. The party night of the year (seemingly) and you know what? Due to the last four New Years eve parties being: A. Shite, B. Expensive and C. A complete waste of fukin time...

I've made the decision to keep away from all the crap and stay in the house!

I had planned to go to the local, but the last couple of times I've been in there, it's been sooo doom and gloom after the loss of one of the regulars, I don't think I'll bother. Thanks!

It's already bad enough having to cope with memories of my parents flooding back every New Year without that on top, call me callous, but that's the way it is!

Sweedy gwirl is working, so I (unfortunately) won't be seeing her, boo, and a few of my mates are going to West End clubs which, to be honest, I don't wanna do due to the fact that I can't stand being rammed like a sardines into a box, treat like shit, made to wait 2 hours to get to the bar only then to be being charged triple for a tiny drink.

Also, the club is bringing in an outside promoter, and I don't work for him, so I'm not gonna go there...

Nope, London [for me] has never really recovered since New Year 2000, when the Venue owners decided to jack every price through the roof and basically throw as many punters as possible into a club, totally disregarding any of the health and safety shit...

And...I spend my whole life working clubs, so why the hell would I wanna do it on a night off?

That's my reasoning, and I'm sticking to it.

It all sounds a bit miserable, but I'll probably have the best New Year I've had in years, I have shit loads of food to eat, a bucket of booze, and a shed load of films to watch.

Happy days!

And...I'll wake up tomorrow morning knowing that I didn't spend £400 last night, and I know where I am, and I'm not half dead..

It'll be a first, but hey, why the fuck not!!

I don't particulaly feel I have anything to celebrate at the moment really anyway. This year has been spent putting in the groundwork for next year (which I know is gonna be bonkers) Sooo I think I'll wait till then.

My phones been goin all day and I'm like: "Nope...stayin in !!!"


"Yep you heard right, staying in!!"

More silence

"Sorry...not tempted, at all!"

Sooo, whatever you're doing, having a great night and I wish you all the best for what should be a blindin Year ahead.




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Friday, December 29, 2006

Alwight Geese!!

Meat (sic) Brian!!

He's a goose, and you could say that on Christmas day 'his goose was cooked!'

Ha haaaa!

Well ard!

Sooo, Christmas.

Christmas was spent with Sweedy gwirl out of London.

The dinner was spectacular ( it proper helps if your girlfriends friends are both chefs.)

Goose with all the trimmings, and I mean all the trimmings. The Gravy was prepared a day in advance from the wings + veg + herbs + other shit, the stuffing the same deal but made from pulped apples and Brians Liver + some other bits (thanks rule!), veggies and yorkshires and piggies in blankets and cheese and Christmas pud and different wines selected for each course.

The whole deal was fukin like, probably one of the best meals I've ever had...

It rocked!

I donno 'bout you lot, but I can talk about food for hours, and to have the privilege of watching a top chef prepare dinner in front of you is like having the best pony in the best pony catagory at the village gymkhana (Don't!)

Plus you can ask the chef questions about how, why, what if...etc.


Shame Sweedy girl was having her womans time (so I didn't get a!)

But you can't have everything eh!

Kinda made me forget about the fact I'd had my wages + ipod + Sweedy gwirls chrimbo pressie nicked a few days before..


Good Christmas?

Fukin damn right!

Ho Ho Ho!!!

RIP JB We love ya man!


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Sooo, I get back from a perfectly lovely Christmas (I'll blog about it later) and decides to go to my local for a pint. I arrive to a kinda weird as fuck atmosphere? I order Stella and plot up. Within 10 mins the reason arrives by way of my mate C.

Turns out one of the locals last night decided to end up under a bus...the bus [obviously] won, he bought it!!

So, as you can imagine, the pub was all in shock..

Me too.

Although I wasn't this guys best mate, I have conversed with him and he's a face that's gonna be missed.

What happened?

Ok: he gets kicked out of a local bar for being legless, crosses over the bridge and has a barny with his bird, his bird (they just got engaged by the way) decides it would be a good idea to give him a shove, but! She shoves him into the path of a bus... Wam Splatt!!

Just so happens that there's a Police car behind the bus, which observes all.

She spends the night (and probably a fair chunk of the rest of her life) at her majesty's pleasure.



What a difference a day makes!!

Rest in peace bud

We'll miss you


Friday, December 22, 2006

Christmas A to Z

Soo, I've just about recovered from yesterdays nightmare, i'm off to see Sweedy girl for Christmas, goose for Christmas lunch seemingly.

Anyway as it's Christmas, and I'm away for a while, sooo I leave you with:

The A to Z of things I love and hate about Christmas.

A is for Aspirin: You gonna need em!

B is for Baubles : Shinny round glass ( or plastic ) decoration brakey things.. What the fuck is that about eh? And who invented them in the first place, who actually one day sat down and thought "That's it, Eureka!! I'm gonna start a Bauble factory... That'll show the fuckers who's boss!!" ?

C is for Christmas (itself): Good idea-bad idea, I donno, but I guess you can get drunk though!

C is also for Crackers: OK, foil thing that explodes revealing a paper hat a really bad joke and a crap toy/game/novelty item...No fukin idea about this one, no idea at all?

D is for Duff (Plum duff) as in traditional Christmas Pudding: It sits in the middle of the table with it's pal brandy butter saying "Eat me you know you wanna you fat pig!" And you do, even though you've just eaten half a sodding turkey, the best part of Farmer Bodgers vegatable patch, two kazillion potatoes, stuffing, cranberry sause, bread sauce, gravy, little sausages wrapped in bacon and a prawn cocktail thing washed down with a few bottles of red, but, fuck it you'll have a go, why not!!

Next thing, you wake up four hours later?

Plum duff, Christmas fukin morphine if you ask me!

E is for elves ( Wot live with Santa): Do you really exist, I have my doubts, and If so, why do we never see you on Oprah defending yours'elves (sic) I'd like to dig into your background and D'elve (sic) into your history. Ok, it's a shit entry, sorry!!

F is for Fights (Family): Never really happened in my family, but boy does it happen elsewhere?

G is for Germans: For bringing us the Christmas tree! Woohoo!!

H is for Holly: Stupid invention, good for prickling the neighbours cat...nothing else!

I is for Immaculate Conception: Yeah right! Immaculate Conception of a massive worldwide centuries old fraud more like. Errhem, pull the other one, it's got flying Reindeer on it mate? I'm going to agnostic hell!

J is for Jesus: Who's that then, what's he gotta do with it, is he buying the presents? He did what you say, Oh !

K is for ?: As much as I've tried to rack my little brain, I can't find anything Christmassy about the letter K, not one thing??

L is for lonely: Not so much nowadays, but after my parents died and my girlfriend left me in the same year: my definition of lonely equates to an evening spent on a very deserted Oxford Street with my (then) landlady's dog and a bottle of Vodka feeling very very alone!! Oh how time heals..

M is for Mistletoe (snoging under) : Good with the right person, never is, is it! It's alway someone you'd never snog in a million years but feel obliged to... Hmmm!

N is for: No I don't wanna listen to your fukin Johnny Mathes Cd again, Oh go on then, If it makes you happy.

O is for Oral sex: Ooops... Sorry, wrong list!

P is for Pressies: The best bit (as a kid). I remember my Mum scrambling on Christmas eve to exchange this Bike she'd bought me, cos somebody had decided two days before Christmas day to go and invent the BMX? All the kids went "Oooooo!!!" And all the Mums went "Fuck, wrong bike!!!" All bikes simply pailed in comparison besides the BMX machiney thing, to not exchange for the BMX would simply have been parential hell!!

P is also for Pagen holiday: In case you didn't know, the Pagen holiday of Saturnalia: The holiday that Christmas (or Christmas day being the 25th Dec) was fabricated on top of to rid the Pagans of another of their seasonal festivals. Kinda like inventing the X-factor to rid the world of half decent talent in order to lines ones own pockets!

Q is for Queens speech: Dear Queenie, please can you actually say something that actually means something to someone somewhere, and not just rabble on about a load of obtuse random crap. We love you ma'am but... just have a go for once, there's a good girl. Please!

R is for Reindeer: Who thought of flying Reindeer in the first place eh? And please can I have some of what you where taking at the time.

S is for Santa: Yes we all know modern Santa was invented by the Coca-Cola company, but you gotta love him... Whiskey drinking old pervy pipe smoking git. The guy lives with a bunch of elves and brakes into houses and drinks all the booze at night for fucks sake, what more do you wanna know?

S is also for snow: Although, thanks to all the petrolheads who can't even be arsed to walk down the shops anymore, I don't think it exists in this part of the world anymore (no seriously?)

T is for Tree (Christmas Tree): Ok, well go and cut down a tree and stick it in the front room and watch the cat have a scrap with the needles, good idea? I guess they look pretty and they smell nice though!

U is for underhanded party game techniques: Listen son, cheat at pass the parcel one more fukin time and I'll 'av ya, you with me on this!! You fukin scally lab rat! And get off the fukin chocolates you menace!

V is for Virgin mary: She did what, nah mate, ain't fallin for it, she was making it up!

W is for: Where the fuck did all my money go??

X is for Xmas: Christmas for dyslexics. Sing along now: Old McDonald had dyslexia... I B E Y F, and on that farm he had a nig... M A S T Q etc.

Y is for Yule log thing: Thing?

Z is for Zzzzzzzz : The sound I make after eating too much Christmas pud. See (Plum Duff) !!

And that's that, the season of joy wrapped in 27 tasty morsals.



Thursday, December 21, 2006


Last night, I worked and went and drew a load of money out of the bank for Christmas Presents!

Last night, as I finished work, my bag was stolen + money + Ipod + Sweedy girls Christmas present (which was way expensive!)

2 day, I'm off to see the dealer, then I'm gonna kill whoever gets in my fucking way



Wednesday, December 20, 2006

2 Random acts of late night garage stupidity!

Sooo, 2 Random acts of late night garage stupidity that I've encountered over the last couple of weeks.

Act one: Choosing a bottle of wine

Sooo, I'm at the petrol garage over the road, it's about 10 at night and the've closed the main door so you have to pay at the little window, but I want a bottle of red wine.

After waiting ten minutes for the queue of drivers to pay for petrol, I finally get to the window.

Me: I know you've closed the door, but I want a bottle of wine and can't really see them from here, so can I come in and have a gander mate?

Attendant (Asian Bloke): Shrugs his shoulder " Tell me what kind you want and I'll get it"

Me: No idea mate, there's like a zillion bottles in there?

Att: Tell me price,I find you one

Oh gawd, nothing like having your wine selected by some randon garage attendant, but, i guess it was that or nothing.

Me: Ok, A nice red between £6 and £8

He goes away and after ten minutes he comes back looking totally confused and points at the door. Woohoo progress... he's gonna let me in!

In I go and within 30secs I've found a rather nice Chilean Merlot for under £6.50, so I go to pay at the counter, but, that would be too fukin easy wouldn't it!! No, you guessed it, I have to go outside to the window to pay while he locks up again???

By this time there's a queue of about 6 drivers wanting to pay for petrol, so, I stand , in the queue, in the freezing cold for another ten minutes while he serves the other customers!

Time to get a bottle of wine: Approx 35mins???


Act 2: The fukin idiot Jobsworth.

I get out from the venue early and fancy a drink, so I decides to go straight home via the same garage.

Time: Approx 10:15pm

The garage stops selling alchohol at 11pm so I'll easily make it (seemingly!)

Gets to the garage

Time: Approx 10:48pm

Plenty of time (seemingly)

Me (at the window): Err four Stellas please!

Att: Four?

Me: Four

He then toddles off to get the Stella, gets them and then speaks to the other attended for a couple of minutes.

Time: Approx 10:53pm

He returns with the Stellas and rings them through the till, but, the barcode scanner ain't working?

He calls for the other attendant to come over and they start fuking around with the till.

Time: Approx 10:57pm

10 mins later he gets the scanner to work. The till bleeps loudly.

He looks at the other attendant and pointing to the clock exclaims: " Sorry sir it's past eleven!"

Me: And?

Att: I can't serve you!

Me: WHAT!!

Att: I can't serve you, it's passed 11.

Me: You're having a fukin laugh ain't you, I've been stood here for 15 fukin minutes while you were fukin around with the till.

Att: Sorry sir I can't serve you!

Me: You are fuking kidding me aren't you

Att: Sorry sir I can't serve you!

Me: Naw mate, sorry I ain't 'avin that!!

Att: Sorry sir I can't serve you!

Me: You wanna have a word mate

Att: Sorry sir I can't serve you!

Me: If you say that one more time I swear to god!

He starts shaking his head in that funny way and making no eye contact as Indians do when they wanna blank you.

At this point my blood pressure hits the fukin moon!

This guy then turns his back and starts yapping to his mate??

I bang on the window, no fukin use! There's half inch of bullet proof glass between him and the fact I wanna rip this fuckers stupid throat out and he fukin knows it.

I go home in an absolutely foul fukin mood.

Stupid friggin Jobsworth!!

Needless to say, that garage no longer gets my custom, and If I wanna drink on the way home. I go on a detour to the 24 hour off-licence.

I'm getting angry just writing about it!!


Some people have far too much time on their hands?


Monday, December 18, 2006

Work...What's that about?

Sooo, the venue is having a new floor put in this week, so it's closed for a while...Thank fuck!

I'm pretty much Christmas partied out from the last two weeks and I guess apart from engineering a Cabaret do (Sounds interesting, I'll blog about it) in the West end on Wed, that's it for this year..Woohoo!!

Got an interesting call the other day from a wicked venue in West London asking me if I wanna do some engineering for them in the New Year, so that'll be good + the bands that play there are more electronic affairs, which is much more my thing than the 1000's of shite Indie bands that seem to be staining the London Landscape at the moment! Not really into the plain Indie guitar sound thing, it's been done a million times, especially with the technology available today. We soo ought to pushing boundries..

Sooo, my Question of the day (it's bugging me): What the fuck do people do in offices?

Why do I ask? Ok I'll tell you:

On my way to the venue I pass through the backstreets of London where you can see, from street level, the office people down in the basements doing their officey things.

Sometimes I stop and observe the goings on, my conclusion: No fucker ever seems to be doing any sodding work?

At all


They're all doing stuff on the internet, but it ain't work?

Soo you've got Mr Nicesuitshitetie playing intenet golf, Ms Pertitsbollocksdress looking at shoes, Mr Badhaircutshinycufflinks googling "Hairy Twats in Paris", MrsBighairstoopidearings playing Minesweeper and Mr Lookatmebosspersonarn'tithedogsbollocks scratching his nuts and staring at "Ninjas who wear large fluffy hats" on friggin Youtube???

How the fuck are these companies actually making any money from their staff?

If I was their boss; i'd be shitting bankruptcy applications like it was the end of the world!!

Sooo, someone please explain how this works, cos I have no idea?

London can't be full of internet research centres...Can it?

Maybe it is!

Right...I'm gonna go fry the huge bit of 3 week matured Scottish rump steak I got from the local butchers this afternoon and serve it medium rare with new potaoes, salad and peppercorn sauce..Yum!!

Mouth watering moment coming on...

Especially for this Doughnut

Stuff to keep office workers busy

And yet more


Saturday, December 16, 2006

Hippy dippy

Sooo, The hippies took over the venue last night. It all looked good, but the numbers were shite + they all get wasted and therefore don't really drink, so I guess it's the last time we're having them. We were still de-rigging the venue at six this morning. It's now 11:18 and I've woken up for a tea break, then I'm going back to bed!!

Quote of the night (we have eight massive plasma screens in the venue) :

Them: " You're gonna have to take down the plasma screens so we can hang our banners!"

JA : " Re-arrange this well known phrase or saying mate...OFF... FUCK!!!"


They stayed up...

I guess I'm gonna have to do some Christmas shopping today, I'm desperately trying to avoid the dealer coz I'm not in the mood for getting fucked up, especially as I still have the back end of this flu. So nooo going out tonight.

DVD's and food for me.

Sunday the venue is having a new floor put in, so I've volunteered to go in for a couple of hours and wrap the important bits up in plastic as a precaution! I'll just boot up the sound system and listen to some good music as I do it. It's a hard life eh!!

It'll all look good for the new year though.

I'm gonna go spend Christmas with the Sweedy girl, I haven't seen her for like, three weeks and I'm desperately missing her and her [extremely] cute little ass. We're going to Scotland in January to see my sister and to hang out on my birthday. Should be fun. She's a keeper this one, I'm even thinking of the M word, O dear!!

Interesting article on how SKYPE tunnels through firewalls, I have an IT networking degree ( I can subnet mask in my sleep) , this is allowed!!

I may update later, but for now, I'm going back to bed..


Thursday, December 14, 2006

Flu Fighters!!

Sooo, I had a fukin 'orrid day yesterday.

I have flu at the moment, maybe down to partying too much, maybe just down to the fact that everybody around me has it, I don't know, but I feel like total shit!

My head is bangin, my body's aching, I can't think straight and I just feel really uncomfortable and shitty all the time.

Yesterday I got my days mixed up and went to the venue 4 fukin hours early and then had to sit around drinking tea and feeling sorry for myself all day! I tried to do some Christmas shopping, but I broke into a cold sweat after 20mins of walking about, so I just went and sat in the venue with a newspaper and a cup of tea.

The main room of the venue is being painted as well at the moment, the smell of fresh paint was making my head feel like it was gonna explode.

Therefore...I was not a happy bunny at all yesterday!

Anyway, the night went smoothly, couple of minor bands, all good. I finished at about 11:30 and was feeling sooo off colour by this point that there was only one thing left to do... Go home you say? Nah!! I went to an all night boozer off Dean street and demolished about five pints of Guinness...Just to take the edge off...

I was having such as nice time, sat alone, reading the paper and feeling sorry for myself when this fukin after-office party of total reject tossers turned up and just ruined the whole fukin shebang??

This lot were complete nutters... Girl gets snogged, girl starts crying, girl won't snog bloke, bloke starts a fight, bouncer kicks bloke out, blokes mate starts a fight with bouncer, bouncer kicks blokes mate out, they both start a fight with bouncer, bouncer locks the door. Other girl starts a fight with bloke who was starting another fight, bloke tries to snog girl, girl runs off screaming and snogs some other bloke and first girl tries to snog bouncer, bouncer peels her off and breaks up new fight...

And... NO!! I won't fucking dance with you, or snog you, or even let you dribble on me...So:


I left!

Pissed off!!

Some girl tried to snog me on the way out... "Let go For fuck's sake!"

Bouncer is just stood there shaking his head

I really don't envy him his job tonight.

He unlocks the door to let me out

The two blokes come flying back in!!

Another bouncer comes running from the venue across the road

I just keep walking

I could hear the distant sound of Police sirens and then watched a meat van screech to a halt as a bunch of people came flying out the pub door

I turned off Dean street and made my way home..

I then get on the bus home and the bus is full off office party rejects as well??


I got in about 4:30 this morning and just crawled into bed and shut the world out with the duvet!

And it all starts again at 5:30

and I still feel like shit!!


You gotta love Christmas

I think!

Maybe it needs one of these!

Maybe I just need a night off?


Monday, December 11, 2006

Big night out (again!)

Man, that was some weekend!

Sooo, me and my T where sat in the pub Sat and I'm like "Come on son, let's go out out? And he's like "Where to?" I'm like "Donno, I'll make some calls!"

Twenty minutes later we're sorted. We jump in a cab and go to Shorditch via the dealer, and meet with my mate L who's doing some gig at this kinda fetish club, not my scene really but fun non the less I guess!

L does her gig which is kinda a techno backing track with her singing and covorting on stage... interesting!

There's some proper strange punters at this gig, I can tell you. But...there always is at these types of events...

You got like, girls dressed in rubber and men dressed in rubber and nurses and school teachers with wips and blokes dressed as babies etc. etc. etc .


I decides to have a wander round and stumble on this brick arch corridor with these small rooms off the side.

Ok, in room 1 is a load of fat blokes with small dicks doing whatever it is fat blokes with small dicks do??

Room 2 has a girl strapped to a rack having what I can only describe as a low powered tazer gun applied to different parts of her body. At least she seems to be having fun?

Room 3 has some fat bloke sat in his underwear with a sign round his neck reading "Tickle Me!"

I didn't!

Room 4 has one couple having full on sex and some black chic giving some bloke a massage.

I go back, moderetly amused, and prop the bar.

T reappears and I'm like "Where did you go?" And he's like "I been having a massage with some black chic!"

"O that was you was it?"

" Yep!"


I'm kinda bored with this place soo we leave the club at around 1 and meet up with my mate B who's DJ'ing at some allnighter down the road. After a bit of a mad bus journey, we arrive at this wicked basement club with a huge sound system and the place is just going off.

2 pills and an hour later, me and T are tearing up the dance floor and to be honest I can't remember anything till I got in a cab to go home at about seven in the morning.

My cabbie turn out to be the Turkish equivelent of Borat ! He kept trying to get me to test his English out? Just what you need at 7 in the morning, and then Instead of driving into London, he was driving out so I'm like " Mate your going the wrong way!" and he's like " I follow sat nav"

" Sorry mate your sat nav's is taking us to bloody Manchester!"

" No it right way!"

" Mate it's NOT the right way, turn it off, I'll direct you"

" No..It right, I follow"

Jeez louise!!

It took him to reach a sign saying "The North" before I finally managed to get him to turn around and follow my directions. Fukin idiot!

I got home eventually and couldn't sleep, so I just polished off a couple of JD and cokes and wiped out at about ten in the morning.

Sunday was therefore a complete rightoff!

My mate B text'd me yesterday and he's like " I though MrC was wicked, didn't no you knew him" and I'm like "C was there, completely missed that boat mate"

His reply " Ha ha you were chatting 2 him half the night u nutta! Enjoy the rest of your Sunday."

Oh dear!

I wonder if I'm getting to old to be doing this?

Sooo: Benny Scale of fuckedness = 895

Ok, I have to go and do some bands so I'm out the door


Friday, December 08, 2006

Venue progress and holiday tornados

Sooo, More on the Christmas bollocks front (thanks Anon for the link), this PC shite is really getting out of control.

Funny, I used to have a flat on the road where this happened yesterday...

Ok what's new? Well the final architects plans are being submitted for the new Live venue me and my mate S are spec'ing. Although I'm a little concerned that because of fire regs, the FOH (Front of house/mixing position) has to be 7ft off the floor to allow for escape routes. This concerns me for two reasons:
  1. Bass is like heat, it rises up into a roof and gets trapped, in other words, the ceiling of a venue becomes a nasty bass trap, therefore if the FOH position happens to fall within this bass trap region, the whole venue design is fucked!! What you can't hear, you can't mix! I've worked in venues like this and you might as well be mixing the band with a bucket over your head. It might be ok coz we can actually tune the sound system to compensate, but, it might not, and it's a huge fukin might not.
  2. If the FOH is off the ground, it won't allow good access to the stage in the event of something going tits up i.e. a mic stops working mid gig or the guitarist catches fire (seen it happen, don't ask!) But as long as the communication between FOH and monitor desk engineer (on the side of the stage) is ok, it shouldn't really be a problem, shouldn't being
    the key word here?? Ho hum...
So yeah, plans are being submitted, people are gearing up, birth of a new venue. Don't worry, I'm gonna pic document the whole process in a seperate blog.

What else, we have a huge night at the club tonight and then tomorrow I'm doing the annual directors kiddies Christmas party that me and JB do. I wrote about it last year here if anyone's interested.

One of my record label partners B is off on his holidays today, lucky bugger is doing China, Australia, Vietnam and Indonesia I think. He has the life of blood Riley, he Dj's all over the world and if he wants a holiday he just rings up a club where he's going, books himself to DJ and then gets on a plane and goes. Lucky bugger then has himself a free holiday anywhere in the world and comes back with a shit load of cash to boot!

Why the fuck don't I DJ anymore??

Right, I have a club to run, so I'm out the door


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Wednesday, December 06, 2006

Baaaa humbug!

Right, sorry but I'm gonna have a rant!

This from the BBC got my back up yesterday: Firms 'ban festive decorations'

Sooo 74% of bosses won't allow Christmas decorations for fear of offending staff from other faiths?

That's Bollocks... right there???

Well...Fuck em is all I can say!! It's political correctness gone tits up big time. Yes I know Christmas is a bit of a naff festival and we all know Santa was invented by Coca Cola but really, who gives a fuck, it's a bit of fun and it brightens up an otherwise miserably grey winter!!

We're actually changing our culture because 6% (the religious minorities) of the population don't agree.

Baaa fukin humbug!!

You know what? I reckon it's got fuck all to do with offending other faiths and more to do with the increasing trend of grinding every penny from your workforce and giving nothing back in return. We're all turning into a bunch of bean counting sodding Scrooges.

My mate who runs a posh venue up North was complaining the other day about the distinct lack of company Christmas parties that had been booked at his place this year? What's that about?

What the fuck is wrong with this country eh?

Where's you sense of sodding fun?

Oh yeah, we'll go and blow the fuck out of a foreign country and it's faith, but we're all a little scared of a bit of retaliation on the mistletoe and bauble front??

Have a word!

We should rename this place "Full-o-shit-land!"

Coz it is becoming... full of shit!

I've a good mind to get a bunch of mates together dressed in Santa suits and go and sit down the fukin dole office for effect!

Santa out of work... Not on my watch mate!!

Christmas, bring it on... If you don't like opening prezzies, getting stuffed out of your mind on Christmas dinner, watching the Queens speech and then falling asleep pissed in front of the TV to the latest bad film with your partner, then fuck off: Coz I certainly do!!

Yeah, you lot may complain, but I bet you still take the fukin holiday, can't see any of you lot working through it!

Oooof...Ok rant over.

Right, I have four bands to do tonight, so I'd better get my skates on

Interesting human beat box type thing

And a cool Ninja vid from the Lord of doom. He made it himself you know!


Monday, December 04, 2006

Paper heart rain?

Soo, This is the first time in a week I've had the time to sit down and write, I'm so busy at the mo what with the run up to Christmas and all that.

What's been happening then?

Loads of stuff, I've done so many bands over the last week that I'm a bit knackered, some good, some terrible, nothing really good eneough to write home about, although there was one girl who appeared onstage half naked with a moustache doing stream on concience shit about ex boyfriends she hates etc. All over a minimal electro backing track??

Whatever floats your boat I guess. Not really into all this artzy music shite to be honest, it really does nothing for me, and as far as modern art is concerned, I think the only good thing about Tate Modern is the fukin building it's housed in!

It all bollocks really!

Anyone can paint a hamster blue and call it "The tantric evolution of rainbow soup verses midnight the hamster on a cool spring day in Fluteland!!" can't they.

It's just not clever, so stop it!

In fact if you really want my take on modern art read TPAB, it gets updated now and again...Honest!

So yeah, all bollocks!

Oh yeah, nearly forgot...Sweedy gwirl sent me this card the other day and I was late for work, so I stuck it in my bag to read later. Anyway I'm on a packed tube going through Oxford circus when I remembers about the card. I takes it out of my bag and it feels a little bulky, so I'm like, "What's this about eh?"

Sooo, I remove the card from the envelope and open it and... Wooommmfff, it's suddenly raining little red paper hearts all over a packed fukin tube??? OMFG! I'm stood, on the tube, in a paper fukin heart typhoon of joy!!!! Ouch, I would have loved to have seen how red I went?

These hoody types are stood sniggering at me and this girl in her early twenties is like, "Oh that is sooo sweet", all I could say was an embarrassed to death: "Ok... Just Fuck off!!"

I ran away at the next station!

Shedding little paper hearts down the platform as I went

Much to the amusement of a station full of punters....

I'm staying in on valentines day!!

Thanks babe, love ya too!

Oh she does though, just spent the weekend with her...bless!

Anyway, I've got another week of Christmas parties and bands starting in about an hour or so, sooo I better scoot I guess