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Tuesday, January 29, 2008

Birthday niceness

Sooo: Sunday I was taken to a beautiful hotel by B for my birthday.

Lovely room, views of the river...awrfully posh.

Nice. Very very nice.

We chatted over a superb three course dinner and then relaxed in the bar getting pissed on expensive bottles of Barolo and Beaujolais-Villages.

All followed by many fine Hors d’Oeuvres de shag in the room till the wee hours.

I could get used to that.

+ she gave me a fukin superb North Face mountain jacket as a pressie . I'll never be cold on the streets of London ( or any other place for that matter ) again. It's gonna rock when it comes to touring again as it kinda splits into two more jackets for the summer.

B... you fukin rock honey x

The next morning, full English breakfast in bed.

Hotel operator: How would sir likes his eggs?

Me: Errr I dunno? Medium rare.

I think I was maybe still a bit pissed.

We prised ourselves away from the hotel at noon the next day, went back to B's and took the dogs out for a long walk.

Back to B's for a spot of chillaxin and a Thai curry I knocked up.

All in all I feel very relaxed from the whole experience.

Oh well, back to the real world.

Gonna do a spot of work with my mate N soon. Sooo Looking forward to it.

He's recently got himself a spot as an EAR ( Emerging Artist in Residence ) at the Royal Festival Hall, I'm gonna do some live record with him down there.

Seemingly every time the in-house guys have tried to record him, the finished mixes have sounded rubbish?

For somebody working at such a prestige venue that's just a bit pathetic?

I'd give my right arm to work there and if the work isn't up to scratch mate, whoever you are...I'm having your job.

End of.

N's work:

Top stuff indeed.

Destroy a website today.

Right, I need food.


Wednesday, January 23, 2008

( lack of ) String theory


It's all good doing the 'Who' smashing things up matey boy...


...not so good when you wake up the next morning and realise you're in an unsigned student band and you can't actually afford a new guitar?


Sooo: What's happening?

Well I went to view the houseboat the other day and it was all very lovely but:

A. The mooring fees are ridiculous.
B. What the photos didn't show was the fukin hideous industrial estate in the other direction ( complete with 24hr recycling plant and big crane car crushing scrap yard thing ?? )
C. It was bloody freezing ( even after the heating had been on for a full hour )
D. Insurance for a houseboat ( especially one with a recording studio on board ) is verging on the insane.
E. The lease was stupidly short.
F. You had to walk about half a mile ( with no other access ) down a towpath to get to the damn thing.

Oh and did I mention the gypos at number 52??

So I guess we'll give that one a miss and look for something else.

Never mind eh!

What else? Oh yes!

The gigs are flying in for yet another action packed year of touring the world.

Loads of shows, a tour of France, lots of festivals etc. etc. etc.

Should be a good one, that's kinda cheered me up no end. Christmas and this whole period of the year just makes me feel uber depressed.

Let's have some sunshine for fucks sake, I'm sooo sick of the cold and the bloody grey skies??

Anyway expect another year of carnage, although I'm gonna try and be a bit better behaved then I was last year ( note the try bit ) .


At least it'll give me something to write about?

It's my Birthday Friday. I'm actually working but B is taking me to an extremely posh hotel Sunday for a night of fine dining, champagne drinking, whirlpool bathing and ( I expect ) a whole load of naughty tickling.

She's an angel bless.

And that's that for now.

I find this really sad ( but also quite well...dunno? ) :

Are you having a fucking laugh??


Saturday, January 19, 2008

Cruise Creatures

OMG this is soooo funny

Fucking fuck me!!!!!

Just had to post these two. Gotta work so gotta run.


Wednesday, January 16, 2008

Vote Boat!

Sooo: I'm looking into buying this houseboat.

No really...I am!!

Remember a while ago my landlady was thinking about selling the house I live in, moving back to Ireland ( she's bought a farm there ) and then giving me a whole heap of cash to find her ( and me ) a base where she can come back to London twice a year for visits and basically I'll look after it the rest of the year.

We'll it's happened.

The house has been sold pending contracts etc. and I'm looking for a new place to live.

We both sat down before Christmas and came to the conclusion [that] because of the spiraling housing costs in London (I've been given £300,000 to spend and all I can find is ex-council shit holes and pokey little 2 bedroom flats with paper thin walls and no character wot-so-fukin-ever??)

Then... Why don't we look at the alternatives?

i.e. Houseboats?

I'm telling you London housing is seriously out of fukin control??


Yeah...let's go look at some houseboats.

Sooo... I am!

I'm going to view this one either tomorrow or early next week.

A bit of peace and quiet in the midst of London's chaos.

Pretty excited really.

So is the landlady.

It's got 3 good sized bedrooms, a large living space and office, modern shower room, brand spanking fitted Neff kitchen ( complete with oven, dishwasher, washing machine etc.) roof terrace , phone line, wifi, the lot really.

And...all with a bit of character.

It'll make a superb space for the studio with enough change ( we're thinking, ) to install a wind turbine and some solar panels for free electricity and hot water.

We'll see?

There's an awful lot to be taken into consideration and a lot of questions to be asked i.e. mooring fees, marine surveys, council tax situation, insurance etc. etc. etc. But all in all I'm kinda excited.

The good thing is that you can't get mortgages on these things ( doesn't matter if your buying cash ) Which kinda leaves you in leverage fukin city as far as deal negotiations are concerned.

All good.

Still... I won't count my chickens eh?

Also: Sorry bout the lack of posting of late. I was a bit down over the Christmas period what with the cold and the dark and the lack of parents + various other thing that are getting to me at the moment.

But... onwards and upwards as they say. New Year, new start eh?

Inappropriate children's books



Sunday, January 06, 2008

Poetic justice

David Lynch says it all.

Sooo: Funny as fuck.

I rewind to my mate A getting kicked out of that party on New Years Eve.

The scene:

My mate A is really really pissed

I'm looking after him

I sit him down for ten minutes to sober up before I take him home


This twat took it upon himself to play bouncer. Basically he hovered over my mate A till he left.

His standard comment was: " leave now!!"

" leave now!!"

" leave now!!"

No butts

" leave now!!"

Bit of an intimidating fuck this guy ( some 20 year old who fancied the party hostess and was trying to make his mark by applying his weight? ) But...there you go.

We left before we kinda killed him.

He thought he was sooo fukin special.

Sooo special

so special?

So fukin what


Anyway... Went to work at the venue tonight and it soooo turns out this guy ( party kicking out guy ) is.... wait for it...

wait for it...


one of my new junior bar staff.


It went from ( in his head ) "That's that idiot who I kicked out of your party" (aren't I the hero)


OMG that's actually the guy who runs the club that I'm a nOOb bar person at.

Couldn't have set up the scene better if I'd tried.


I spent the whole night making ( naive 20 year old ) sweat his sorry little pants off.

Every time I approached him...

he shit bricks.


I loved every fukin minute

Poetic justice


And then some

I'm not one for revenge


It was sooo much fun

I guess the moral of the story is: If you wanna play games and stuff- just know


Just know

Just know who you're dealing with

good job I have absolutely no fukin conscience

wot so ever



love you all


Thursday, January 03, 2008

Balloon buffoon!

Jenghenge, complete with druid, wand and sacrificial alter. ( Don't ask! )

Sooo: Happy new year all. Sorry bout the lack of posting of late, it's been a hectic couple of weeks.

New Years eve I actually worked ( and got kinda pissed ) Couple of things happened of note:

A: The promoter decided it would be a really great idea to make a balloon drop thing ( to see in the new year ) and then tie it all up in the lighting truss frame. Trouble is though that when I came to turn on all the lights in the venue, he'd tied the fukin thing around all the moving heads ( you know, the twisty spiny lights you get in venues. ) Which then proceeded to spring into action churning up all the netting holding the balloons, bursting virtually every balloon, burning out several ( very ) expensive moving head motors and resulting in all out venue chaos as I scrambled to trip the light breakers before the whole fukin light frame caught fire?? Talk about a mess, it took us about an hour to untangle the damn thing from the lights. Stupid stupid idiot! I swear, some people have no common sense... wotsoever?


B: My mate A.

I bumped into A a couple of weeks ago and invited him to the venue to see in the New Year. Bad mistake! A proceeded to get sooo fukin drunk that I had to baby sit him all night? He made such an arse of himself that it became embarrassing even by my standards, and all in front of the people I have to work with on a regular basis. It came to the end of the night and A just wouldn't sodding go home, so I dragged him off with me to a party...where he then proceeded to get himself ( and me as I'd brought him with me ) kicked out in spectacular fashion, something about him being naked in the toilet??? I dunno, I didn't see it??

I took A home and realised I'd left my fukin phone at the above said party? But...luckily I managed to track down one of my mates J via Facebook ( thank gawd for mobile phone internet ) who located the phone. I then had to travel back to central London, collect the phone and apologise to the organiser of the party before returning home feeling completely shitty from far too much booze.

I slept all day yesterday.

Sooo: Good start to the New Year then eh?

I'm gonna go meet with B in a while for a wee drink down the local.

And that's about the size of that really. To be honest, I'm just glad to get the silly season out of the way.

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