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Tuesday, April 19, 2005

Anyone care for a spin ?

Not back in the studio till tomorrow , so I thought i'd take the time to tell you all a story ...

He's going to tell , He's going to tell . He's going to tell , He's going to tell etc .etc. etc...

So sit down, have a cup of tea and you at the back be fukin quiet !!!!

Are you ready, then I'll begin ....

Sooo were driving back from this massive rave gig in Scotland ( we rocked it ) , about 7,000 people ( thats about half of scotland to you and me (( only kidding !!! )) , I can see those axe's waving at the back. ) errhem !!. Anyway it's snowing buckets , and were all high as kites on Ecstacy , LSD , and probably anything else we've laid our hands on , and the snows all white and fluffy , like being in heaven ( but Scotland really ) .. And i'm driving along looking at the perspective of the road thinking , " how the fuck am I going to fit this through that " , Acid shit . When all of a sudden the exhaust fall's of the van ( woohoo !! ) .. Sooo we slide to a stop at the side of the road ,collect the silencer , have a snowball fight , break open the Guitar string's , fix the offending item ( with guitar string ) , have another snowball fight , and drive on our way ( rock-n-roll).. Nothing new there ( I hear you say ), and you would be right ....
By this time the snow is pelting down , and it's getting really Icy ( or is it ? ) ... I have no idea how fast I'm going , coz the dashboard looks like fukin mission control ( best avoided at all cost ), and it's about five in the morning ( seemingly ) ...
"Eeeerr" says my co-pilot "that's the fukin turnoff we need " , and he's right , so we shoot off up the sliproad ..
I apply the brakes ... NOTHING !!! , shit , apply again , Slippyfukinslide , " Holly shit " , once more, wiggle wiggle skid slither , "Fukity fukin fuck !!! ", " I know I'll turn the wheel " , really , really good plan Stan ... The van launches itself , like some rabbid fukin icedancer into a pirouette worthy of an olympic champion , still in a straight line but with an added gyroscopic spin-tastic affect , I'm getting well giddy here ( looking good tho , sorta Star Trek warp speed thing going by right in front of me ) .. At this point Zebbiddy fucknuts says " Slow down mate that's the turnoff " , " err yeah okay then , I tell you what lets stop for tea and scones and you can sunbathe kid , would you like that , Oh you would , nice ! " nutter !!! , I turn the wheel again , a completely pointless act at this point , but by some miracle of miracles then van come's out of hyperspace, right's itself and decides to take the right exit off the roundabout .. I take a deep breath , check my pant's ( numbchucks is looking for new CD to play , while lighting a joint ) and we drive off into the night ... Twenty minutes passes and fukin chuckle brother in the passenger seat pipes up, " Urr , did that really just happen ?? " , " err yes mate I think it just fukin did !! " Fukin doughnut ....

Thus endeth the story ..

Right ,off you go then , back to work , and no spitting on the way out please ! .

Listening too : The Gorillaz " Demon Days " ... Yes I know it's not out yet , Perks of the job people .. Dirty Harry's fukin brilliant Damon, love the kiddies choir bit , spot on mate !! ... Buy it !!!

10 Comments:

Anonymous Anonymous said...

i came accross this cos i was on a random mission can't remember why....i've been messed about by a cokehead (from london hehe) for the past two months.....it's the only blog I have read that hasn't made me want to beat the writer round the head - you're a funny bloke, typical cokehead, love it...and i don't touch the stuff

2:45 pm  
Blogger london cokehead said...

Sorry to hear that ,where not all twats , Ya know ;)

12:11 am  
Blogger stressqueen said...

I was in a car accident when I was on acid once, about ten years ago. It was in Oklahoma, USA. The police turned up (all rednecks) and were delighted, they finally had something to do. We were students, so underage, and very nearly got into a ton of trouble cause we had a boot full of beer. Thankfully they were distracted by my English accent, and we had a long conversation about The Beatles, and they eventually let us off. But I've never done acid since.

2:06 am  
Blogger london cokehead said...

Yeah , I don't touch acid anymore .. Not good for car trips then ( or anything else ), I guess !!!

9:55 am  
Anonymous hannah said...

Not all twats.....No need to apologise - the fact that you have got your shit together enough to do something as consistent as write a weblog is enough to restore my faith in cokeheads! I look forward to reading more :) and tell us about your music.... PS Guaranteed mad one coming up at the weekend - full moon ;)

11:29 am  
Blogger Doom/Blondie said...

You still crazy dude.

Nice fight in Soho.

9:00 pm  
Blogger london cokehead said...

still mad doomkid

11:44 pm  
Blogger london cokehead said...

Im building a web site at the mo Hannah , I'll post some of my music on that ( i'll write some especially ).. Anyway tell me about U

11:57 pm  
Blogger Asian Provocateur said...

this one is your best so far

8:51 am  
Blogger Sharron said...

Your ass is damn lucky!

10:37 pm  

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