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Wednesday, May 31, 2006

Thom Yorke-The Eraser

The stained glass window in my house that I get stoned and stare at, a lot!

For the Dark revolving Thom heads.

"People get crushed like biscuit crumbs, down in the bitchamin," Really Thom?

Ok sooo, I finally after managed to bash my way through the music industry like a gnat stuck in Hampton Court maze and get hold of a copy of Thom Yorke's ' The Eraser'

Though I did notice it was leaked on the internet this morning...Hmm!

It's dark, dark as fuck...But that's what I like!

It's kinda what Thom does best, uber-electronic stripped bare fucked up rhythms (as in Revolving doors and some of the sparser bits of COMLAG) , strange darkness to light musical transitions, "what the fuck's he mean by that?" vocals and weird off the wall guitar and synth playing.

I spy a few NIN influences chucked in as well!! eg check the similarities between NIN 'Right Where it belongs' and Thom's 'Analyse' ...Uncanny!

I kinda miss Johnny's guitar playing and strings and Phil's live drumming, but this ain't a Radiohead Album, it's a solo (not supposed to use that word, but it is what it is ) album so that's expected.

And...the dark Nigel Godrich production is superb although sometimes I find his vocal production a little too dry for my tastes, but there again, I don't produce Radiohead so what the fuck would I know!!

I guess this album will be banged to shit on my ipod forever more.

Poor Ipod, if I can't think of anything to listen too, the Radiohead playlist goes on automatically and that's like 90% of the time..

I would kill to remix some of this stuff. Oh well, one day eh?

Sooo, full track listing:
  1. "The Eraser"
  2. "Analyse"
  3. "The Clock"
  4. "Black Swan"
  5. "Skip Divided"
  6. "Atoms for Peace"
  7. "And It Rained All Night"
  8. "Harrowdown Hill"
  9. "Cymbal Rush"
Soo, dark, scary, moody, sinister Genius from a guy who sings like an angel and who's voice I never tire of listening too..

We luv ya Thom!

If your not a Radiohead fan you'd fukin hate it.

I on the other hand, fukin luv it!

Right I had bettter get back to mixing after my 2 (actually more like 3) hour listening and writing break (Oooops!!)


Tuesday, May 30, 2006

Fukin Tea leafs!

Soo, the thieving Polish people downstairs have been at it again, the landlady was supposed to evict them after they got caught stealing the fukin post, but she didn't coz Polish women cleans her flat??

I'm totally not happy having them in the same house as me, I've even doubled my front door locks.

So, about a year ago I left my vacuum cleaner outside the flat coz Dave downstairs wanted to borrowed it. Anyway it went walkies and of course I went ballistic, but to no avail coz nobody would own up to the theft!

I just bought a new one, no biggy really.

So I was in the hallway earlier looking in the cupboard for a bucket (don't ask) anyway fat Polish women was hovering her flat with the door open and guess what? It was with my fukin vacuum!! I blew my fukin top! So she's like: "I bought couple of month's ago"

Me: "What you think I was born yesterday luv?"

Her: "No, I bought, it's mine!"

Me: "Errr, I don't fukin think so"

Anyway her husband comes out and we have this blazing row in the hallway.

I sooo nearly floored him, but that'll just make me the baddy?

Fuck this!

I go upstairs and produce the origional receipt for the damn thing.

Then I take it back, coz it's mine.

As I don't need it and coz Dave's always borrowing mine, I give him the damn thing.

Their not happy with me at all, and too be honest I don't give a fuck!!

To say I've had enough of these people is the understatement of the fukin year.

Fukin Eastern European thieves, if it ain't tied down, they think they have a right to nick it!!

Oooof, I'm in a well pissy mood now!

Gotta snap out of it coz T's about to arrive to finish the vocals and I don't want my mood spoiling the session..



Lost Dharma initiatives
...(found this by accident while hack...err looking at some American TV prog server... If you're a lost fan it makes very interesting reading!)

Upon further investigation I also found this which is freely available on the web. Curiouser and curiouser??

99 Rooms, totally bizarre!!


Sunday, May 28, 2006

Japanese Hoxton tweed!

Oh gawd, where do I start?

Ok sooo, that was some serious partying over the bank holiday weekend I can tell you..

Sat afternoon, went out with T to Kensal Rise after editing his tune at my place and spent the afternoon in the pub. T and his bird were trying to set me up with this girl they knew at some party in the city. I wasn't really up for it, but as the drinks kicked in I sorta backed off and said I'd go?

I also met this really cute girl in the pub who's like a yoga instructor and she offered me some private lessons at her place. Ho hum, private lessons eh? I kinda like the sound of that. I can safely say I'll be taking up that offer in the future..

Soo, we gets to this party in the city at around 11.30 pm, it's some hip-hop Northen soul do which was going off as we arrived. All good.

T's bird introduces me to this girl, but she's really not my type at all, so I just hit the dance floor and have a boogie. The DJ was playing some wicked tunes all night.

It gets to around 3.30 and we decide to all take off to this private club party in Hoxton. Not really a fan of Hoxton it's a bit too up it's own arse for my liking.

Anyway, we arrive at this party and it's just full of hyper-trendy (yeah you think so) over accessoried fukin "look at me, I'm so fukin brilliant I can't even keep up with my own coolness" Hoxton prick tossers.

Jeez louise, why don't you all go and open another art gallery or trendy internet cafe or something equally fukin useless. Oh, you already did!!

The music's kinda ok though, so I just plonk myself down on a leather sofa and watch the idiots doing their idiot stuff. Hoxton pricks are just unbelievably fukin stupid, they stand around thinking they're the dogs bollocks: but they're just like way off the scale on their own tossometers.

I rather hang around with a bucket and spade, at least the conversation would be more interesting!!

This guy sits down next to me dressed like a 70's school teacher (one of the looks seemingly?) and he's like "Socrates or Jung?"

I'm like "wot!!"

Him "Socrates or Jung?"

Me "Fuck off, you fukin idiot!!"

Thus endeth the conversation..


I go to the bar, have a line in the toilets and find another leather sofa away from Mr Philosophy pancake tweed trouser man!!

My mate T's had a row with his bird and gone home, but I've decided to hang in there, mainly to give myself something to write about, and boy am I glad I did coz this beautiful Japanese girl sits down next to me and starts chatting in broken English.

Oooo hello you!!

I'm chatting to this girl for like an hour and she's getting closer and closer and I'm getting kinda hotter and hotter.

"I'm florist, I like little flowers," she says

Yep, me too honey!

I can't help myself, So I grab her and stick the lips on, she obliges me.. Oooo!!

Great snogging skills this one.

This girl just has 'take me home and fuck my brains out' written all over her.

So I did!

Back to her place in the East end.

Her room looked like Hello Kitty had fukin thrown up in it though?

Not good..

I'd never had a Japanese girl before so I was all excited and stuff. I've dad American, Australian , Polish, French, German, Swedish, Hungrian, Jamaican, Spanish, Cuban etc. etc. etc. But never a Japanese number..

I'm on a world tour!

Anyway, She was fukin unbelievable in bed, very gentle, a superb body and she made this sorta squeeky sound which got me right off..

All good.

It gets to about 8 or 9 in the morning and things are getting a bit too lovey dovey Hello Kitty style for my taste, plus she doesn't smoke and I'm dying for a ciggie, so I kinda make my excuses and leave.

I leave her apartment building and I'm walking down the street when I remember that I haven't taken this girls number...Bollocks!! I go back to her building and I'm faced with like a million fukin apartment buzzers. Oh Fuck it!!

I thought about ringing them all but decided against it. Oh well nevermind eh! Plenty of fish in the sea and all that.

I haven't a fukin clue were I am, so I just walk to try and find a Taxi rank.

I see all these party people cueing up at this warehouse door.

Oooo...all day party.

So, I'm like "Why the fuck not, I don't really wanna go home yet."

I pay my tenner and decend into this Strobe-tastic black drum and bass sweat pit. This party is like going off man!! There must be like 1000 people in this basement just completely having it.

This guy comes up to me and he's like " What do you need mate, I've got E's, MDMA, speed, acid?" and I'm like "half a gramme of charlie would be nice mate!"

He toddles of into the darkness and returns with the half a gramme.

I go to the toilets and open the parcel..

Fuck! twat! cunt! This fucker's sold me a rock of crack!!!

I try to find him again, but that's just not gonna happen in this place so I chuck the crack on the floor (no way mate, not going down those stairs, thanks!!) and buy a pill off some other geezer..

This is a good party, but it's spoilt by the wannabe gangsters lining the walls, this is the sort place where if you picked up the wrong girl, you'd get fukin shot..

So I just hang around for an hour or two and then leave.

I find a Taxi and come home..

Absolutely knackered!!

Phew what a fukin weekend...


Soooo Benny scale of fuckedness = Way, way off the scale!!

Right, I'm tired so I'm gonna watch the Grandprix highlights, go to bed and dream about Little miss Japanese gwirl.


Saturday, May 27, 2006

Aircon tiddle I po!!

Soo, the club was ram jammed last night.

Didn't help that half the aircon was fucked though, I've been screaming at the contractors to fix it for well over a month now, but they're useless mother fukin lazy bastards!!! Yep we'll come and install £80,000 worth of aircon under contract, but if it fucks up, you're on your own mate? You can just wait till we're ready?

I suppose people buy more drinks!

As they fry.

If they don't fix it by next Friday, I will go to their fukin head office and kick up such a stink that they'll wish they'd fixed it before it even broke! One thing I can't stand incompetent fukin un-professional companies. Not on my fukin turf son!

I'm still a little tired, can you tell?

Sooo, anything fun happen last night? Oh yeah, it gets to about midnight and I'm stood on the door talking to security when this little Chinese kid comes flying out of the door and proceeds to kick down all the crowd control tensor barriers? Normally this would piss us off,but this kid was sooo small that it just looked comical, so we we're just kind of stood pissing ourself''s laughing..

Anyway, this kid is stood there like some demanted Tasmanian devil that's just run out of petrol when suddenly these two huge Australian guys come flying out of the door and start kicking ten tins of shit out of this teeny tiny Chinese fella?? Now I'm not being funny but this is typical of Aussie guys, fukin pack hounds the lot of em!! Oh we're soo fukin hard when our mates are with us. Get em alone though and their usually soft as shite!

I once got in a huge fight at this big Aussie 2 day barbecue party thing in East london and they kicked me and my mates out, so we snuck back in under cover of darkness (SAS style) and stole all the sausages (about £100 worth)...HA!!!

I digress.

Sooo yeah, these Aussie guys are really laying into Mr Minichung in the street, and you can tell the punches are hard coz they're making the right sounds, you know, that proper craaackkking thwacking sound!!

Ying tong tiddle I pulverised!!

Soooo, we all pile in to basically save the little fella's life, but get this, the little guy just stands there laughing at em and shouting stuff like " THAT THE BEST YOU CAN DO YOU FUCKING CUNTS!!!" and " COME ON THEN YOU LANKY FUCKING PRICKS!!"


I stand there just staring in amazment, the guy should be out cold, but he's just laughing at his assailants. Fair play, go on skills!! I'll think twice about picking a fight with a chinese kid in the future me thinks!!

Okey dokey..

Today my other mate T is coming over with his bird and I'm gonna do a quick chop-out edit on this tune he has and then were going for a pint local...

And then I'll probably get fucked up!!

Shave my yeti? make sure you don't miss any bits though!!


Thursday, May 25, 2006

Vocal sandwich

Soo, three days of solid vocal recording and I feel fucked!

Still though, we got finished pretty early today..

We got some really good stuff down as well, I just gotta mix it now. Think I'll leave that till next week though. I'm kinda worn out by hearing the same tunes over and over again, as you do when you record vox stuff.


We all went down the pub after the studio sesh yesterday and I sat and talked to T for like two hours about his mad childhood. The guy's was telling me some mad stories. T's dad is a big NY session guitarist and an ex smakhead and T was telling me the stories of how his dad used to take him down to the Projects to score gear and then leave T outside to fend for himself in the hallway's as his dad got high inside some apartment!! T was also with his dad when he got shot by some dealer and then carried T on his back all the way to the emergency rooms? Fuck me, mad way too spend your childhood.

Great songwriting shit though I guess, kinda made T who he is today..

I feel drained.

Didn't help that we got soo pissed down the boozer last night, vocal recording with a hangover is no fukin fun at all..

Still, it's nearly all done.

We have one day next week left to record the final shit before T returns Stateside..

Think I'll have a lie-in tomorrow morning before I go down to the club. I need to fukin tidy the home studio as well, it's kinda full of empty food cartons and bottles and cans and there's tobacco everywhere from people skinning up and just shit left all over the place.

Still, I guess it's just a five minute job though, i'll just take the bin round and scoop everything in!


Never mind, all in the name of progress?

Fuck me, I just took a break to go to the garage across the street and buy a sandwich. The whole place has gone all World Cuptastic. It looks like the fukin England flag took a shit in there?

And this sandwich tastes like crap, what is it with garage food? I sure there must be some company out there specialising in bland, tasteless, textureless cardboard fukin garage sandwiches, pasties and those fukin chicken on a stick things??

What a stupid idea, chicken with a lollypop up it's arse?

I mean look at this shit (actually you can't) I'll describe: it's like two slices of stiff bread a bit of plastic geen ruffly stuff (salad I think) some thing that's the same colour as cheese (but tastes like errr... well nothing really) some red shit (nooo fukin idea!) and a bit of pink fukin MDF!!!

I'm thinking it's probably got the same nutrion value as eating the microphone I'm starring at?

Actually the mic looks fukin tastier.

I knew I should have got the rolled-up cardboard full of sewage again!


Oh...I'm soooo full after that scrumptious symphony of tastebud joy!!!

What's that fuck is that about, surely in this day and age we can do better than this fukin whatever the fuck it is?

Good chef skills!

Have a medal..

Right, I'm gonna clean then chill


Wednesday, May 24, 2006

Bauer get's Chicken noodled!!

It's official: Jack Bauer kicks ass..


With an open socket thing going on and shit


Good luck in Shanghai then old bean?



Chicken noodle time!

Haaaaa haaa ha haaaa ha ha haaa aaaha ha haaa !!! (evil laugh!!)

Umm, ok!

Stuck in the studio tomorrow recording vocals (not my favorite task, but not my least favorite either).

Yesterday would have been a lot more productive if somebody hadn't forgotten the bloody studio mic ( not me though! ) .

Oooops, mine's a problem.

Still we got some good guide vocals down with one of my Live mics, so I guess it was sorta productive?

Today, we will rule with a big sharp pointy stick. (if the mic turns up with it's owner intact? )

Rock-n-roll I guess.

What else, oh yeah, I discovered the Robot Chicken TV show thing the other day, and fuck, I laughed myself till I was blue. Sooo fukin funny. I watched the whole first series and half the second in one sitting, could'nt get enough. If you get the chance watch. Fukin funny as.

Especially the Palpatine, darth vader telephone conversation where he gives the bad news that the Death star's been blown up:

One sided telecon:

"Whadda mean, they BLEW UP THE DEATH STAR????



"Who's they?"


" What the hell is an Aluminium Falcon?"


"Are you fuking with me??"


"Oh! Oh! Oh! I thought my Dark Lord of the Sith could protect a 2 meter wide fricken exhaust port?"


" That thing wasn't even paid for yet!!

"And just what do you think that's gonna do to my credit rating?"


I was nearly crying, very funny shit!

Actually, I've just found it on google video. Bit of a crap copy...but you'll get the gist..



I'm watching Poseidon at the mo: it sucks!!

Not even worthy of a link!!

This kinda says it all, it's fukin everywhere


Bed time..


Monday, May 22, 2006

The Concrete Llama Pharmaceutical Company.

Neon wonderland.. (Taken from Trellick Tower W10, Sat night)...

Soo, I guess another weekend of carnage. Club was ok Fri, but still not as busy as we would've liked. Time of the year though, not to worry.

I decided to go out for a quick (yeah right?) pint on Sat and arrived back in the house in the small wee hours of this morning. Ooops!!

So, Sat, I met up with a bunch of mates over West and we all sat in the pub for the afternoon and drank and talked shit, as you do. Got to around 6pm and I decided to go off and see my mate C (girl) who lives in Trellick tower which is, for anyone who doesn't know, this monstrous, grade II listed, concrete eyesore which stands looming over W10, looking not disimilar to a petrified fukin Llama on steroids!!

Completely useless fact alert!! : Trellick tower was designed by architect Ernest Goldfinger. And Ian Flaming, who wrote all the James Bond 007 books, hated it sooo much that he renamed one of his evil world domination types: Goldfinger!! So now you know, don't say I never tell you anything.

I digress.

So yeah, stayed at C's all night drinking and doing whatever it is you do with an ex girlfriend and a pile of drugs? Hmmm!

I left C's at probably 2 o'clock Sun and was just on my way home when, of course, the pub appeared (as if by magic) right in the way. So I went in to shelter fom the rain (rain?) for a while.

Ho hum!

Brain dialogue: What rain? That rain! But that's a puddle? It's still a puddle full of fukin rain though!!

I digress, again!

Yeah, West London! A few of the clan were in the pub in various states of dissaray from the night before, so I joined in the fun. Oh dear!

Interesting, I got chatting to this female (kinda hot) doctor, who had rejected the whole doctor thing because of the shit that goes down within the pharmaceutical industries? Very very interesting conversation. She was basically telling me that these companies actually invent, or in some case's actually start, via vacines and other methods (flu jabs, antibiotic strains, immunisation vaccines, etc.) Yeah, actually start fukin epidemics? All in the name of the massive supply and demand, and in return the profiteering that this then creates. Fuck me!! That's some mad conspiracy shit, right there!!

Yeah, one day she just thought: "fuck this, I'm causing more shit than I'm actually curing", and jacked it all in for moralistic reasons, chuking away 10 years of hard work and research in the process. She was going to expose it all in a book, but felt it was just too risky??

How mad is that!!

We chatted and then went back to her house for a spliff?

Don't think I've ever met anybody who grew Ivy down the inside wall's of their house. Looked kinda mad though.

We chatted some more.

Sooo, it got to around midnight and I was starting to flake badly, so we exchanged numbers and I made my way home to bed..

And that was the weekend.

T's over from NY at the mo "Yo Dawgs!! " So we're gonna be in the studio recording vocals for next couple of days.

I'm blooding starving.

lunch I'm thinking.



Thursday, May 18, 2006

Fish, (at the moment) not my favorite dish!

New shoes!!

Soo, what's up? I was in the studio yesterday with B working on a some wicked tracks so I enjoyed that, well apart from the fact that I cooked a well dodgy bit of fish Wed night so kinda had a bit of food poisoning to deal with! Not good, I seem ok today though, but I was really shakey last night.

I finished in the studio around 7 and took myself down to the local pub so I could force some Thai food down my neck which helped a little. Some bird and her mate came over and started chatting me up. They were there to watch Arsenal get trashed by Barcelona in the champions league, something I'm not really interested in but watched it anyway coz of the company.

Funny really, I always seem to get chatted up when I'm not feeling well? I must give out some sick-puppy-needs-looking-after vibe, very strange? Nice girls but really not my type, so I made my excuses and just buggered off. I got home from the pub and watched 24 and Prison break and the Unit x2. The 24 shit is really heating up eh! Next week is the finale double-episode thang, can't wait.

My mate B is on the case with the Eraser pre-release as well, go on son!!

What else? Oh yeah, I've given up on beautiful blonde thing, she only answers the phone when she feels like it and I really can't be arsed with it all. She told me she worked as a receptionist in a interior design place, but then texted me saying can we meet next week coz this week she's working the night shift...Errr hello! When the fuck do interior design company receptionists work a fukin night shift?? You can't kid a kidder honey so don't even try!

So...pretty, sketchy and a complete liar eh, not what I need in my life right now thanks! Beautiful girls eh, all the fukin same, they think the world revolves around them (which it kinda does but...)

I'm off to the venue this afternoon to go through some budget stuff, I know Radiohead will be soundchecking around about now as well. Damn it, Damn it, Damn it!!!

Fuckity fuck!!

Ok, I suppose I had better get my skates on.



Tuesday, May 16, 2006



Soo, July 10th is officially The Eraser day. I'm desperately trying to get hold of a pre-release, but it would be easier standing on the fukin sun at the moment (coz someone will just torrent it). My heart beats a little faster just thinking about this album (seriously!! ). Roll on July 10th. I'm gonna miss the Radiohead Hammersmith gig on Thurs and Friday due to prior commitments and to say I'm gutted is a mild understatement, but there will always be other gigs, I guess?

Damn it!!

Apart from the obvious Floyd gig which isn't gonna happen any time soon (or probably anytime at all) and of course the festival shit, I reckon Radiohead is the only band I would actually (nowadays) pay to go and see live, busman's holiday and all that.

And after all that there will be the new album from the band themselves later in the year. All good. All good indeedy!

Ok, This is one of the funniest, misinformed, propagander spreading, contrived piece of Apple vs PC bullshit I have ever read. The phraze "rrreeally mate! ", springs to mind!?!

Internet bullshit in action.

I have a client in the studio today, so I guess I had better get my shit together and wind up the toys.


Sunday, May 14, 2006

The mini-gig and the scrabbled brain drain

Soo, Sat nights gig was a mad one. My mate JR had laid on a sort of mini-gig for all his close friends at this teeny tiny bar in Kingston. The band took up probably half the fukin room. I had been brought in to engineer the band, but to be honest there was actually nothing to do coz there was no real mixing desk and the PA system was tiny, so I put the four vocals through a little desk we had brought and into the PA and that was that really. I just sat at the back and sorta chilled out all night. Really nice gig actually, very cozy, the band played a great set, but it was also very fukin loud!! It reminded me of the Cavern gigs in Liverpool, but smaller..

Ok, soo I left the gig at around 11.30 and me and my mate A went of to this party in Chiswick, we arrived at about 1am after walking for what seemed like miles from A's house where we had stopped off for supplies. Mad little party, by the time we arrived everybody ( I kid you not!) was off their tits on pills. Much gibberish was being talked by all!!
So of course we just had to join in the fun. So after about an hour, and a gramme of coke and half a gramme of MDMA later, I found myself in much the same predicament, in fact I was finding it difficult to see straight or talk with any real meaning. The girls at the party weren't really saying much, and the conversation was a bit flat (or a bit zig zaggy depending on how high you were), so I kinda got myself into a game of off-your-nut, no fukin rules scrabble, in the kitchen with a couple of birds..

As you can see by the board, it was everyman (or girl) for themselves, don't mind a game of scrabble if you play properly, but, this one just disolved into carnage? Nevermind!

We left the party at about five, and I just came home by myself. I must admit, when I got in the house I was still completely off my tits, so I just whacked on my headphones, plugged in the old Telecaster and had a jam for a couple of hours. I woke up this afternoon in bed, with my fukin guitar? I've kinda got an imprint of the strings down my back...Ouch!!

Ok , I'm gonna attempt, I guess, to cook some food and try and make sense of my own head.

Benny scale of fuckedness = a shit load!!

Oooof, I'm never drinking again... Yeah right!!

Oh dear...

Right, headache tablets, food, film, sleep!

I could do with a shag though...

Laters potato's...

Friday, May 12, 2006

Blonde J and J sandwich..

Oooops a daisy, park it there son (taken last Sunday morning, don't now how the fuck this guy managed that little maneuver? Doughnut!!)

Soo, it's official, I'm a cheap blonde dirty stop-out once again..

That was a mad couple of days, started Wed evening , finished in the studio with my mate B and went for dinner in West London with my mate J (girl). J's mate (another girl and another J) turned up about 9pm and we sat in the pub beer garden getting royally drunk and having a right laugh. I forgot what time it was and kinda missed the last train home so J's like "Oh just stay at mine" so I'm like " Ok babe as long as you don't kick me out at 7.30 when you go to work " fine," she says. All good.

So me and J and J's friend J, went back to J's house.

It got to like 1 in the morning and J's like "I'm going to bed, you coming?"

So J and J toddled off to bed, after about 5mins, J appears at the door and she's like "come on then!"

"what me?", " yes, you, bed, now!!"


Sooo, I ended up in a J sandwich in J's bed with the two J's.

Teehee, haven't done that for a while ;0)

So...much naughty fun was had by all.

All good.

So J and J left the next morning at around 8 and I slept in till 12, then had a bath , went for lunch and toddled off to help my mate T with his new G5 and logic audio programme. We kinda sat around all day drinking wine and generally having a laugh.

I left T's at around 7pm and went to P's to have my hair done. I don't think I've ever had such a nice time getting a hair cut. P has a terrace on the back of his house that looks out over West London, so we plugged in the old ipod, whacked on a bit of Jose Gonzales and enjoyed a beautiful English pre-summers evening, drinking wine and chatting shit with P and his mate while he did his cutty coloury thing to my mop-top. All good. I didn't leave till like 11pm. Proper nice evening and all for £50. I'm totally gonna let P cut my hair from now on. Fuck that salon shit!!

Yep, I'm blone again, didn't recognise myself this morning?

Ok, it's Friday, so I'd better think about getting ready and going down to the club. The weather is gorgeous outside, so I think I'll take a long stroll through Soho and stuff, and just enjoy it.

I'm engineering a gig tomorrow for a mate of mine in Kingston, so hopefully the weather will hold and we can all make a day of it..

Right, out the door.


Tuesday, May 09, 2006

Forum frenzy!!

Ok, Tuesday, bit of a boring day really, meeting in the West End got cancelled, so I went and bought some new bedding to replace the shit I set fire too a while back. Ooops!!

World cup tune all accepted and off-line and finito, so all good in that department. We've finished the next two label releases as well so that's all taken care of for a couple of weeks plus I've already started on the next two, just waiting for T to come over from NY and lay down the vocals, kinda excited about that.

I'm in the studio with my mate B tomorrow so should be a fun day all round. Thurs I'm helping my other mate T get to grips with his Logic Audio Pro programme and then I'm having a hair cut and colour from this hairdresser I've known for ages but never used, I'm gonnna go to his house and have a haircut and spliff and stuff, much better than sitting in a fukin Salon and having to talk to somebody I don't really know. I once made the mistake of not wanting to talk to this female hairdresser (I just wasn't in the mood to explain what I do for a job again!!) and in return I got a shit cut? Thanks!

Ok...Rant of the day: Fukin internet music and music tech/recording forums!!

In fact, just music forums in general!!

You can't have a proper valid argument on a forum.

It just all turns to shit!!

They're just blind amorphous exchanges for uber-crap debate!

I really really don't know why I bother with these fukin forums. I always come off them in a way bad fukin mood. Somebody asks a question, you give your advice (coz your a professional and shit!!) and then some fukin 12 year old prick flames you with why you are fukin wrong and he/she is right?

Ok son/daughter ( in this case son), I've worked in music for a long time, I kinda know what I'm talking about and I wouldn't answer the question If I didn't actually know the answer, but these little pricks...Your wrong, blagh blagh blagh blagh blagh!!! They must sit there like, all fukin day just waiting to flame someone with their god like (but complete bollocks) knowledge.

Somebody was asking about music publishing and intellectual property this morning, a difficult and complex subject if your not sure about it (it can take years to understand it properly). Ok I give this guy a bit of legal advice from a past situation that I've been through myself, all good, anyway I revisit the thread ten minutes later and this other (third party) fukin prick had just completely undermined what I'd just said with total bullshit advice.


Note to that idiot: You ever been in a record deal mate, or a studio for that matter, or even away from your toilet training lessons you dickhead!! Cos what you said was complete bollocks and if the guy actually took your advice cunt, he'd be sued to shit before he even left his studio, and I don't care if you released a bootleg mashup once and got away with it toss pot, this is forum for people who make proper music from the fukin ground up and not by taking two other records and a copy of Ableton live which puts them in time and key automatically and then pretend you actually did something musical...Now there's a new concept eh, real fukin music!! NOW FUCK OFF!!

Double note to all the mashup music experts out there : Don't ever ever dare call yourself's musicians, your just fukin not ok, it's like somebody who builds LEGO models calling themselves a structural engineer, it's wrong and your full of shit, get it!! Bet you can make a ham sandwich too, don't make you a fukin chef though, does it?

Rant over..


Ok, deep breath,!!

"A lack of adequate oxygen, especially after seven days underwater, also carries a risk of irreversible brain injury, according to medical experts."


It'll stop the world having to listen to your banal pretentious drivel mate.

If I had my way, I'd have sealed you in there!!

Fuck, I'm going for a Guinness, it calms the nerves and doesn't lead to other things, unlike Stella Artiois which get's me in all sorts of trouble (which I kinda like now and again, actually more again then now but)... Oh shut up !


Monday, May 08, 2006

A casual weekend.

Sooo, bit of a mad weekend that one. The club was a bit shit again Friday night, but I guess it's the post-winter, pre-summer time of year so it's to be expected. Managed to get all my shopping apart from Addidas combat jacket, I tried it on again and it was all just a bit Naaa fuck that, don't like the cut, blagh blagh blagh!! Got some cool summer army shorts though from this shop near Soho where you try them on and then the guys will cut them to size for you, so all good.

Actually, all good till it got to Sat morning when I jumped out of bed, put my new shorts on, ran downstairs to pick up the milk and guess what? It was fukin pissing down with rain outside!! Typical bloody British weather eh!! Went back upstairs to get changed and have a sulk..

Ok, so I ended up in West London at around 4 and went to the pub to meet some mates, they had been doing some charity gig the night before and hadn't really slept, so it was all a bit Laa Laa Land.. I got a skinfull of whinge coz I hadn't done the sound the night before, but, I have a club to run and they all fukin know this? Anyway, I got talked into doing front of house sound for this French band for free drinks all night (this, on my day off, but WTF, free booze, always a winner!!)

Sooo, after a hairy ride down the wrong side of Ladbroke Grove in a van full of French Nutters we arrive at this gig to soundcheck. The in-house guy kept complaining coz the girl who was on first still hadn't arrived to soundcheck and he didn't know her line up or anything (boo hoo, deal with it mate, it's called rock-n-roll!). Turns out though this late girl is my mate L, she rolls through the door (as she does) an hour late and screams "*******" grabs hold of me and does whatever it is L does? Now I have 2 bands to bloody engineer, "Anybody else while I'm here? I can work the fukin bar as well if you want!!"

Soo we finish the gigs at around 10 o'clock and head off to a local bar in Portobello Rd. I get refused entry coz I'm "too casual mate"

Me: What do you mean too casual?

Doorman: Too casual, this is Portobello road!!

Me: You are fucking kidding aren't you???

Portobello road used to be the Bohem capital of fukin London? To be refused entry at a bar full of tourists for being too bloody casual is like being told "You can't land your plain here mate, it's got wings on it!!"

WTF!! How shit changes, to be honest though, I wouldn't frequent any bar with a dress code...ever!

The owner appears (I know him ) and he's like "what's the problem?"

Me: Seemingly I'm too fukin casual?

Owner: No mate your fine, come in.

Me (kinda pissed off) : Naa mate, sorry , I don't do dress codes!!

We all go back up to Kensal rise and away from Portobello road and into the safety of The Paradise, with the kind of people I usually hang with, who are, all dressed casual.

Dear me... What the fuck is going on?

What next, Nightclubs where you can't get in with trainers on??

Anyway, we all drink and do whatever till the small wee hours.

I arrive home at probably 4 or 5 AM and just wipe out on the bed.

Spent the whole of yesterday recovering, all good.


Benny scale of fuckness = Oh I don't know 720 maybe!!

Gawd, I need to go and do some food shopping as the cupboards are bare..

Beatles vs Apple or Apple corp vs Apple computer
: Ok we've been debating this down the pub now for a long time ( ever since Apple announced itunes, we we're all like, ooops that's gonna cost em! ), so for this verdict to come out in favour of Apple computer: is total fukin bollocks!! The origional agreement clearly states that Apple computer can use it's logo as long as it's is in no way involved with music and music business, and I'm sorry, but it doesn't matter how you twist the law, Apple computer with itunes are clearly now involved in the Music business...end of! So my verdict is: unfair and completely unjust verdict..


Wonder how much of a back-hander the judge got for that one eh!!

Ok, right, food!!


Friday, May 05, 2006

Retail combat.

Yey, it's sunny again...

Ok, World cup tune deadline is Sunday so that's nearly in the bag. Got a call from the label last night who'd heard the version I first did (without the cheese) and their like "Fuck man I love it," so I'm like "well you know I've been asked to put back all the cheezy bits?" and their like " Naa man, no fucking way, just leave it like it is!!" Oh bollocks, luckily for me I save different versions of mixes as I go along so there's a halfway mix somewhere on my puter, It's just a case of finding it and chucking it down the light pipe.. Fukin do this, do that?? It's in the bag Sunday which ever way though, so at least I'll be shot of the damn thing..


Ok, I'm gonna do some retail therapy on my way down to the club coz I need some summer togs..

I call it blitz shopping, the homework has been done, it's just a matter of putting myself in the retail firing line and going for it!!

The list (as it stands):
  1. 3 pairs converse, 1 pair black hi-top, 1 pair white low-top, 1 other pair?
  2. 2 pairs long army type shorts
  3. 3 T-shirts
  4. 2 dress shirts
  5. 2 pair Diesel Jeans
  6. 1 Adidas combat jacket (way cool, there's only like 5 or 6 of them in the country). Haven't made up my mind if I wanna spend this much money on a combat jacket yet, but I had the girl put me one away just in case (providing nobody serious want's it... i.e. Mr Brown or the Gallagher's or One of the upcoming indie band singer twats etc. etc. Get the fuck off it, it's mine you cunts!!!)
  7. New shades...
And I think that's it for the time being. Sooo, retail therapy blitz thing going down in Covent Garden this afternoon... woohoo!!

Nothing really exciting in the News today, some politician got sacked but who the fuck cares. Not me, that's for sure!!

Right, I'm taking myself to Nando's for lunch..

Hope the club's busy tonight, can't be arsed clock watching all night again..

Ok, food.


Thursday, May 04, 2006

Hot and beautiful and chilli.

Okey dokey...

So...Thursday, I'm still in the studio doing this bloody world cup tune. Bored of it now, in fact it's doing my fukin head in, I just want it finished so I can get on with some real bloody music and oh err...go to the pub.

It's was beautiful today in London, the weather was glorious and all the lovelies were out in their summer dresses. Hmmm, what more could a growing boy ask for..

Summer is definitely on it's way at last, thank fuck for that, I was kinda all grey'd out for a minute there.

What's new, oh yeah, beautiful blonde thing is playing hard to get bless. I phoned her a few times after she got back from holiday but she wasn't picking up, sooo I'd just kinda given up hope, a case of oh well nevermind, plenty of fish in the sea, buses come along in packs etc. etc. etc.

Anyway, I'm sat in the pub last night and this text message comes through on the old dog and it's from her saying: "Sorry but I've been busy but I'd still like to go for dinner sometime with you, can I call you next week maybe" Yep, you certainly can!! So I guess this will happen sometime in the next few weeks or months or whateverthefuck?

I have a real problem with people who don't pick up the phone though. It's fukin rude and it's just basically you saying to me that your time is more important than mine, which I'm sorry but it's just not! I used to go out with this girl who never answered her phone and it used to drive me up the bloody wall, especially when I knew she had her phone on her? Got rid in the end, too much like hard work for little old me. I just hope beautiful blode thing ain't the same.

Hopefully she's just playing hard to get, which is kind of a foreign concept to me, but you girlies just lurve doin it? So I'll just play along.

For now!!

Listening too: Chilli Peppers " Stadium Arcadium" , my mate gave me a pre-release copy the other day. Sooo , what's it like? Well I guess I'd need a thesaurus just to find the words, err fukin blinding or shit the bed, or holly fricken cow!! just don't seem to cover it. It's like classic Chilli Peppers but more of it, a shed load more, it's a 28 track epic album of an album, there's not one bad track.. So from the band with what is probably the most compressed drum sound in the world (Hmm!!), comes easily their best work. I guess that's the summers listening taken care of.. Essential listening, and then some.

Right, back to this fukin football track. I just wanna go to the pub as well, for fucks sake!!

Fair play to this guy, being the new England manager has got to be one of the all time career bashing jobs, basically you take the job and the British press just tear you apart like a pack off bulldogs on the razzle. Good luck mate, you'll need it.

Ok, no rest for the wicked.


Tuesday, May 02, 2006

Not our finest hour.

Now this, is one of the most interesting bank marketing ideas I've seen in a long while? Basically it's a bank account that you pay a monthly fee for and you get extra perks, what these extra perks exactly are (that differ from normal banking practice), I have yet to work out? I just hope this practice ain't gonna catch on to the point that if you don't pay a monthly fee for your bank account, you'll just get shitty service, clever idea though; for the stupid, 'I'm better than you' crowd?

It's kinda reminds me of the supermarket practice of bundling stuff into fancy packages and calling it 'Finest' , the bloody prices you pay at supermarket, as far as I'm concerned, it should all be fukin 'Finest'. I'd would love to see the reverse product lines of this appearing eg. 'Shittest' or 'Completely Toss Tasteless' or 'Knocked up From the worlds crappist ingredients'.


Ok, today I have a client in the studio, but it's just a little fix-it on a previous mix, so a pretty easy day really. I reckon we'll be in the pub by six. Actually I shouldn't say that, it'll all go pair shaped.

This world cup mix thing is already starting to piss me off, the origional writer has come back with a whole bunch of comments. Ok so he loves the vibe, but he's basically asking me to put all the cheese that I took out, back in? Oh for crying out loud, there's already a cheese-tastic mix of it, why the fuck would you need another one?? I'm trying to give him something a club DJ can/will play and a mix that won't kill my own rep stone dead, but he's gonna fuck it. Horses for courses I say!! He's on a really tight time budget though, so I'll procrastinate for a couple of days and then fire it back down the light-pipe with a couple of changes plus a dub and let the label make it's own mind up.. I played it at the club on Friday and it really worked as well.


Hoorah the final score: Apple i-tunes 1-0 Major record labels

Stick that in your pipe you greedy fucks!!

Interesting site, plus you can register your blog for free. My blog is right above Noel Edmond's, so I can drop stuff on his head..Ha!!

Ok, time to wakey wakey..


Monday, May 01, 2006


Well fuck me, I just got out of bed and read this shit . Sooo, they want compulsory voting to be brought in!! I'm sorry but when the fuck did England become an autocratic bloody state?

I haven't voted for a couple of years now, basically to make my own little stand.

I would only vote again, if:

We had somebody actually worth voting for, you know somebody who doesn't lead us into false illegal wars or bury their heads in the sand when a problem doesn't suit their agenda or how about a government that doesn't shift the fukin goalposts every time it doesn't appear to be getting what it wants? And how about a government who listens to it's people, I was led to believe you were supposed to work for and not against our wishes. Take the ID card shit for one, I have never met anyone who thinks that it's a good idea, not one person, but you're still charging ahead with the bloody plans? What's that about!!

So what happens if we don't vote in a compulsory system and denounce all parties involved (as you do)...Firing squads!!

I'm sure there's room in the Lake district for a couple of Goulags (that would be Gulag...doughnut!!) somewhere next to the National trust parkland!!

Oh well, at least us bloggers will be first against the fukin wall..

You know, as much as I love this country, the people who run it are fukin idiots , basically hacking off bit by bit our civil liberties.

They want ID cards and smoking bans and compulsory voting? Errr how about kerfews and conscription as well, oh and don't forget public hangings, why the fuck not!!

Ok I'm being a little extreme, but as history shows: From little acorns...

Bank holiday in England today so no work for me. I'm just hanging out watching DVD's listening to music and cooking food.

My and A's guitar jam turned into carnage and eventually ended up down the pub, sooo all good.

Oh, and more Rooney shit, basically, if we don't take him to the World cup we're fucked!!

Right, shower, food, music, other stuff.