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Tuesday, November 27, 2007

Mandarin madness

Sooo: Last night I got roped into doing a Chinese/Japanese/Someotherbuggerese talent showcase for my mate D ( on account that he's dying in bed with much the same sort of food poisoning/stomach bug that I had last week? )

He told me about this thing and I'm like: " Mate, a what...really, fuck off, do I have to? Oh... OK then, just coz your ill"

I'm sooo glad I did though.

Talk about being moved to tears (literally) behind the mixing desk.

Sooo fukin funny.

Apart from the usual terrible versions of Japanese pop songs ( What is it with Japanese screeching power ballads eh? They really do reach extraordinary heights of walling shiteness? )
it turned out to be a legendary evening.

The highlights included:

The Simon and Chibunkle version of ' Widge over woubled water' ( I will way thee drown? )

Won't wop me wow ( I'm hawing much a wood twine... I'm waving a wall )/ We will we will wok you. By Qween

The Spice (rice) girls rendition of twooo become won.

And my personal ( all time favorite ) version of Oasis 'Wonderwall' into Pink Floyds 'Wish you were here' Medley accompanied by ( badly played ) piano and (out of tune) classical guitar.

Totally fukin laughed my pants off.

Easily a youtube 100,000 hitter.

OMG I sooo wished you were there.

Fukin hilarious... In the extreme.

Half way through I've got some girl screaming at me in Chinese to turn her up in the monitor. I knew exactly what she wanted, but...because I don't actually speak any kind of Mandarin... I just played ignorant till she got it into her little head to actually ask me in English?

Five minutes and a little school girl giggling fit (to herself) later...she got what she wanted?

The night finished about 9pm ( I'm sure these people don't have the ability to party past 10pm) , I packed up the stage, shut up ( the technical side ) of the venue and returned home on the tube still inwardly pissing myself with laughter.

I sooo wish I'd had the means to record the whole thing. It would've made a brilliant podcast.

Never mind eh.

Next time though, if D asks me to engineer one of those nights again: I'm jumping at the chance.


Free and uneasy


Sunday, November 25, 2007

The Sunday review

Sooo: There seems to be a new fad hitting my local Sunday dinner pubs. It's kinda a replacement for the [lack of] smoking thing.

You see, what once used to be a nice smokey, ancient paint job, having a pint and a cigarette with your mates, watching the sports, getting pissed, falling off your stool, swearing your head off and generally having a bit of crack and a right laugh on a Sunday afternoon.

Has now become...

A fukin stale, static, wine swilling, no sports, new wall paper, playdoe smelling middle class couples and their 2 1/2 kids fucking nursery Sunday creche instead???

Jeez fukin louise

If I wanted to sit with screaming kids on a Sunday: I'd have some and stay at home thanks K!

I walked into my local last Sunday and in one corner of the pub, the tables had been pushed together and filled with screaming kids + plastic sheet + playdoe + colouring-in books + face paints + adults on another table drinking wine and talking about their fucking mortgages and what SUV they're gonna buy next???

Fukin disgusting!!

It's just not right.

It's not how I wanna spend Sunday.

To top it off, one of the PC ( PC.. really? Down the pub getting pissed with your kids luv? ) mums came over and ever so nicely asked us to keep the swearing down? Of course we ever so nicely asked her to: " Fuck off luv... you're kinda in the wrong place and all that? "

As Thom Yorke once put it: " Everything in it's right (fukin) place!"


And why the fuck are you in the pub with your kids on Sunday anyway??

Don't get me wrong, I'm not anti-kids : In fact ( if I remember rightly ) I actually used to be one.


Aren't you supposed to be in the park, or in the house cooking, or visiting Homebase and forcing your hubby to buy floral wallpaper and/or pastel doilies and matching napkin holders; or visiting your mother in Clapham or braking some bread with that Jesus bloke and his mates or like... ?


Not down the fukin pub with your 18 sprogs... annoying the locals?

On Sunday of all days?

What next? Ok, why not just stop serving beer altogether and start serving happy fukin meals instead?

No wait... isn't that called McDonald's?



In fact... I fukin demand it. It's my right to die in happy hell and Not...happy fukin valley?

K thx!!!

Have I made my point here???


Going to the creche... for Sunday dinner with Bibi.

I'm moving


Thursday, November 22, 2007

Wednesdays involuntary regurgitation session??

Fuck me, I've just spent a day of hell in bed!

Got home from the venue Weds morning, had a couple of glasses of wine, ate a Waitrose chicken casserole, went to bed.

Woke up about two hours later and before I knew it I was slumped over the toilet bowl absolutely throwing my guts up? I've spent up until a couple of hours ago doing exactly the same thing, alternating between the bathroom floor and my bed???

High temperature; sweats, throwing up... the lot?

Everything that went in... came back out?

Had to force feed myself cream crackers and water, just to get up some kind of energy?

Fuck! My bathroom is such a fukin mess it just ain't funny.

I feel sooo bloody drained.

Thought I was having an appendicitis or summit at one point.

Not good.

OK... I'm gonna attempt to drive to Sainsbury's ( notice how I'm not going to Waitrose! ) to get some solid food and attempt to fix myself.

I have no idea what is going on outside of my bedroom?




Tuesday, November 20, 2007

An English Poisoned Rose.

Sooo: Oh dear...I did a boo boo!

Sunday Bibi took me out for a pretty spectacular lunch, we ate in some posh pub called the Dysart Arms in Richmond, lovely venue, piano playing in the wings, couple of bottles of wine etc. etc. etc.

After lunch we went for a long walk with the dogs in Richmond park. We walked and talked arm in arm, as couples are supposed too, then we stopped off to visit Bibi's mother who's buried at St Peter's Church Petersham, you know... just to say hello.

A couple more pub stops and then back home via the local.

Pretty perfect day...

...that's when it all went tits up?

Not her fault this time... completely mine.

We were sat having a nice drink, the perfect end to a pretty perfect day when... In walks my mate C with J ( his art student daughter ) And, to be honest, I just couldn't keep my eyes off her.

Not good, not good at all

I'm seriously attracted to J, even though I know it'll never work out. She is strikingly beautiful.

Proper princess; the skin; the teeth; the hair; the wrists; the smell; the beautiful curve of her back; the perfect neck, those piercing eyes... the lot.

A perfect English rose in every sense of the word.

But...she has a boyfriend.

Bibi had seen me in the pub the night I'd pulled J and decided ( coz we weren't speaking ) to stay out of my way. She asked me about it over lunch and I told her the truth. Why not... clean slate 'n' all that.

Anyway, when Bibi clocked all me doughy eyed over J, she got jealous, said her goodbyes and walked out? To be honest I'd have thought she would have put up more of a fight (me too), but... off she went? leaving me but with one option but: to go and chat to J.

And I did.

It gets to like, 9pm and I decide to go outside for a cigarette. J follows me outside, pulls me around the corner, slams me against the wall and snogs me like I was the last person on the planet she was ever gonna snog again.

Game over I'm afraid.

She was all over me the rest of the night.

Oh dear!

Of course I returned the compliment. It would have been rude not too ( if only for the memory that it actually happened. )

11.30pm I go home. I don't take J with me.

I may be a monster, but... I'm not a bastard.

Now I just feel sooo confused... and sooo guilty.

What to do?

Really... what to do?

Bibi texted me today saying that she's confused too.

I'm in a love triangle.

With no idea what to do?

I know what'll happen though. I'll make the wrong decision and lose them both ( as per usual )

For fucks sake, it's never easy is it?

Oh dear... Oh dear indeedy.

What to do.

I donno... become a fukin hermit or something.



Saturday, November 17, 2007

Brighton acrobatics

Sooo: The Brighton gig went pretty well, good gig, no dramas. we tested out a new brass section and they sounded pretty excellent to be honest, made a lot of impact stagewise too. Sat getting drunk all the way home on the ( rather plush ) tour bus, not bad for the last gig of the year. Next year seems to be coming along nicely as well, talk of quite a few gigs in France at the start of the year and various other stuff drifting in. Should be another busy year. Can't complain, loving it.

What else? Not a lot really, Bibi's taking me for Sunday Lunch at one of best places for lunch ( seemingly ) in Richmond down by the river.

She's trying her best... bless.

And for anyone who's wondering what the fuck the last post was about? It was from an old flame who recently got back in touch with me via Facebook. We kinda lost touch when I moved to London years ago, bit of a childhood sweetheart. Suprised she's still single truth be told, although quite a few of my generation have remained single? I guess growing up in the middle of the rave scene taught us all that there really was more to life then 2.5 kids, a 9 to 5 and a mortgage??


I guess a meeting is on the cards then eh?


Does anyone else think the new Guinness add is basically not that good an idea with a shit load of money chucked at it?? Coz I do! I actually worked on the sound design of the Horses add when I was doing the advertising thing ( Although I still to this day reckon the version where the beat kicks in was ten times better, but you'll never get to see that one? Whadda add people know eh? )

Also at the time I wanted to recreate the Leftfield song that they used ( basically it would have taken me five minutes ) and take the £70,000 for ourselves but the guy I was working with didn't wanna get sued? Sued for what exactly? A track that Leftfield had already ripped off some obscure German techno artist anyway??? Some people eh? If he'd kept his mouth shut, nobody would've been any the wiser coz the Leftfield track hadn't even been released and they had no idea we actually had a copy ( It was acquired from their mangers office via the Christmas party ) ?


World war 2 computer working again... Yeah but the government really should be updating by now?

Amazing acrobatics

Going to work


Thursday, November 15, 2007

Chat with an ex girlfriend

there you go babe, easy peezy xx
lemony squeezy
good girl
How cool is that eh
wots a jabber client do?
it just like give you a specific box where we can type super fast, but I guess you've already found one ? Kinda like MSN

my fingers are fast
I'm sure they are dear... I'm sure they are x
Sooo, anyway you cleaned up you're wine yet
sort off - licked it off
Oh dear.. oh dear indeedy
still got a full glass tho..
Got a botle full myself, but hey what can you do
Botle, what the fuck is a botle
dunno but its obviously good stuff
Yeah, no shit. Need a wee back soon x
thanks for sharing that wiv me
No worries, I'm always on my puter by the way, I get my TV and watch films and chat and work all at the same time. Tiz the way forward you know.
you were always a good multi-tasker
Ha, you know, it's nice being back in touch with you again pet
likewise - quite frankly i think its fuckin great xx
Yeah no shit, shame you've come up in a kinda grey and I look pink on this chat thing?
wot ya mean - as in the font colour?
Yeah, changed it, you,re a kinda pink color know and I'm a green.
I digress
So much fun though eh, you new to this K
to gmail yea
tiz fun though, just when you thought you were going to bed
tiz fun yup
Sooo I'm watching American gangster as I chat good film
can't say i've seen it...god its freezing up here....
you need to be cuddled to sleep?
at the moment i can't even get into my bed - the dog is lay on the dog across the pillows!
kick the bugger off?
lay on the dog - good stuff this vino
no shit
think i have a problem
Whtat's that then?
red wine
I should learn to spell, great for your typing skills eh?
i did my rsa typing and gcse typing and got a B in English Lit and Lang at GCSE so suck that
Would love to babe believe me
why don't people understand u in london?
Long story mate.. long story
how come u not met a chick then?
Met loads, ongoing fukin saga. Same could be said bout you?
can't find anything that "gets me" if that makes sense
I hear you...totally x
my last playmate told me i scared him??? needless to say he got sacked a few weeks ago...
Wot where you like, his boss
no no, he just didn't get me at all - no one does
I actually do, or at least I used to
sounds like ya still do
I dunno, I'd like to think so
just popping downstairs to top my glass up.........
Good girl
I'm sure if given the chance I could top your glass up
wish ya wud
Well ya know, that was fast
Oh and by the way... I will
bottle was already out and opened
No comment... really

OH dear... dear
so u never play up here then?
Never, not after my parent deaths. Nothing there for me
Oh ok nothing recently
real shame but... what can you do
whatever you want to do
When you In London nxt?
not sure - nothing booked at the mo
Well get booked for fucks sake
good ansa
You know that
i am sat here smiling, shaking my head saying to myself - "shit he knows me too well"
Yeah but, I kinda wanna see you , it's been too long
farr too long
me too mate - i go to london with this job for training and stuff so i'll a look at what they have got in london asap
Training, listen we both need some bloody training
Well you do
lol ;
Giz a snog K
can't believe i was i london loads literally every 2 weeks from Feb to July this year
Stuff I don't wanna know 101
just saying
give ya more than a snog
Sure you will, like what? Sorry loaded question
don't apologise - lets me frank
be fank - urrrhh
bit pissed
ha ha ha ha ha !!!
fuck off
Still funny
so NOt
Tis soooo
you're making me laugh right now
Who's frank anyway
Let's me frank onyour yourz ass
I'm doin it now
sounds good
u r making me laugh now
I learned it in the jhunglz
ha ha ha ha
Ha ha you fukin self

Oh dear, what can you do
fuck me?
Love to
Norally I would
I wish I could spell right now
so do i
Wines working
r u finding this as amusing as me or is that just me??
Me too, believe me
spot on
Oh fun to be had
plenty of fun - where were we?
Donno, like right here. I was telling you how much I want you right now.. I think
sounds lovely
Oh it soowould ( will ) be
it will
can i ask u a question?
go ahead
Tiz big question yes
when we used to hook up together for sex - did you actually find me as a person interesting or was it just for sex? - be honest
both, I always cared for you K
correct ansa
YOu've always, always been on my mind to be honest... always still after all these years
I remember the firs time I met you and everything
Ahhh - fuck - i was just typing the same thing?? how spooky is that??
V sppoky
Me too - thanks to Charlotte and Kiddy
thats how we met
My parent front room, you stayed over
I snogged you
yup but charlotte (who was seeing kiddy at the time) persuaded me to come over to yours and meet you
you did snog me - and very nice it was too
And I remember that you like long wet hair, and sweaty sex, and all manor of things about you
And I remember the toe job to
u remember your mum walking in when i was under the covers sucking your cock
I'd forgotten that, but know I remember Ha
happy days
Happy days K happy days
I fell sad now
Feel sad
Don't - if it wasn't for that we wouldn't be here now like this
Guess so, but I still miss my parents
i can half relate to that - they are still wiv u - don't be sad. its not shit up there
I remember coming to leeds and having sex with you and it lasted like a minute coz you're mate was in the room
going to the loo again
it was manchester actually! u arrived early and ended up in her neighbours house
Did to, was it Manchester I'm sorry
thats ok!
Thanks x
u is welcome x
I remember that you introduced me to Wez montgomery too, still a fan
yea and you never gave me the tape back!!!!
shall i have another glass?
Ha ha ha... Ooops! Now I know what to give you for Chrimbo
Plaease do
i'd rather have something else.........
I know but You're there I'm here
i''ll order a cab
Ok, let yourself in
can't wait to c u
Good... me too to be honest
d'ya think we''ll recognise each other?
doesn't look like i'm going to the office tomorrow for 8am does it???
Donno, you think you'll be disapointed when you do?
You should go to bed
hell no
Hope not
fuck it - the wonders of laptops and mobile phones - i'll work from home first thing
If I was there, you wouldn't be gettig out of bed luv... all day
if you were here i wouldn't want to be getting out of bed
the whole week
good answer
thats the clean version
I wouldn't mind at all dear.. really
i know that! when was the last time u had a fuck?
What a fuck, or made love
wots the difference?
There's a big difference kid
wots ya ansa then to either?
3 weeks. I dunno. you?
is that a fuck or made love?
Fuck, I ain't made love for like, five years
Long time.
How long
4 weeks for a fuck, the other years ago if you say there is a difference. don't even think i've ever been in love mate
Oh cm'on
What's you definition of then K?
Of being in Love K
Dunno - suppose when someone just gets me totally and i totally get them. I honestly don't feel that I've ever loved any bloke - even the ones i've been with for years
OH shame, I was in love once. Didn't know it at the time tho
All ended in tears
Na not really, it reads like i've been sad but not at all.
YOu asked the question
Oh Ok, it was when my parents died and I couldn't handle it. American Girl Sara West
I loved her. really I did
What happened?
I just imploded
Talk to me
I am
So where and what is she doing now?
Don't know K, probably keeping away from me
Maybe wasn't meant to be?
Things happen for a reason
I have a vision of you sat there feeling sad now - c'mon chin up mate
Seemingly, can we change the subject please
Of course
well done
what ya up to tomorrow?
I'm going to Brighton for a gig
oh yea - sorry!
you wanna read about it :
will do
Part 2 if you wanna know
PAt tense though eh?
Past tense
just read the first bit
Mt whole lifes in there K if you wanna know
Not about drugs tho, that's just the title
Going to bed
i don't understand why it went so wrong when your mum died? surely if it was love it would have been ok?
Seemingly ,,, not so]
i know this is going to sound harsh but when you go throw stuff like that you just have to learn and move on
i learned so much from it though K
well thats good
LIke, remember peole who meant a lot to you and you fucked them off
c'mon we all learn from our experiences - thats life
YOu fall into that catagorie
which one?
u never fucked me off??
I know, I know I wanna see you again tho K I really do
me too and we will, we just still click don't we?
I guess we do
we do
We do
don't ever be sad bill - i'm here for ya
Are you ?
always x
going to the loo
when you're young, you really don't see ahts
Waht's right in front of you
Can't even spell now
spandau hit
Funnt how it seems
it is
hey c'mon your soul has great depths
So true
Funny how it seems
Always in time, but never in line for dreams
Head over heels,when toe to toe
This is the sound of my soul
This is the sound
I bought a ticket to the world
But now Ive come back again
Why do I find it hard to write the next line
When I want the truth to be said
I know this much is true
With a thrill in my head an a pill on my tongue
Dissolve the nerves that have just begun
Listening to marvin all night long
This is the sound of my soul
This is the sound
Always slipping from my hands
Sands a time of ts own
Take your seaside arms and write the next line
Oh I want the truth to be known
Did I tell you I rule
A ha

yeah well
wot time ya hitting the sack?
u r gonna keep intouch aren't u?
About now probably, wish you were here, could do with a bit of spooning action right now
Soon eh
Absolutely definately. U r always welcome up here too ya know x can't promise you'll see much apart from my bed but hey..............
All I want
u can have
love you K always have, always will
gt'night xxx
wish you was fuckin here, i could just chat with you all ya too. gnite xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx
speak soon eh
hope so xxxx you've got my email, numnber etc - just call if you wanna chat. xxxx
Love u x
go 2 bed
i am xxx
I'll be back monday 8 pm let's chat again
Please - if you want to catch up over weekend just txt me. Right I'm going to bed now - take care x

Wednesday, November 14, 2007

Bibi Socks

Where do all the socks go? No really where do they go? Never mind the tooth fairy, there's a fukin sock fairy who comes in the middle of the night and has all your socks.... Complete fukin mystery?

Soooo: Met with Bibi the other night for a drink. Kinda went OK, she apologised profusely for being such a dick and basically put it down to the fact that 1. She was pissed ( she was ) 2. She was starting this new advertising executive job and they'd dropped her right in the shit without giving sufficient background on the company ( so she was uber stressed ) and 3. She was tired from above said job.

She gonna take me for Sunday Lunch, so I guess well take it from there.

Trouble is though: I'm not sure how much I fancy her anymore after that little episode.

It's really put me off.

In my experience that shit can get worse and not better. But I guess she knows what happens when I'm confronted with that level of grief.

Three strikes and you're out 'n' all that...

We'll see?

Anyway: I'm off to Brighton for a gig tomorrow so that should be a laugh.

Interesting article on re-cycling: I've always wondered that if we can put man on the moon ( debatable) then why the hell can't we invent a machine that separates glass from plastic from paper and save on all the extra bin bags and extra rubbish collections ( when they can actually be bothered , my recycle tub has been sat there for two months??? ) and all the extra hag of recycling? Our local council is about to start charging for the extra pick-ups. Which begs the question: " What the fuck am I paying council tax for? New street lamp bulbs ??

Typical teachers eh. I once got kicked out of class when the teacher told us that the word 'and' can never be used to start a sentence. I piped up: " And is a word therefore that can never be used to start a sentence?" And got kicked out for my trouble. Stoopid teachers eh!



Ask a silly question.

Email thread about a band night from a girl who obviously gets very excited about the whole promoting thing:

1st email ( that was sent for me to sort the stage out ) :

Thanks. Great, how many mics do you have? Just so I know if
I need to start buying some before my next show. If need be I can
always hire the amps myself....

2nd email ( from me ):

About ten vocals mics + extra inst and drum mics

3rd Mail ( her response )

Ten mics, wow seriously impressive! I wouldn't normally need more
than 4 or 5 mics. I like the artists to do a stripped down version
of their sets so even the bands/groups only tend to send a
delegation as oppose to the whole percussion, brass section
etc :-) No seriously I try to make sure the events stick as
strictly to the 'Acoustic' label as possible so that's normally no
more than the artist(s) a keyboard (usually provided by artist
etc), a hand drum, or a guitar and if absolutely necessary for the
act, a backing track as well. I also have a guest DJ for each
event. I think that's it really. Would it be too premature to
book an evening in March 2008 as long as I pay the deposit in
January? I was thinking to get in there early for Friday 14th
March, a week before the Easter celebrations, as I'm sure you'll be
booked up then. That makes it easier to book artists as well, when
they know when exactly they'll be needed. If it's too early I'll
probably send you a text/email reminder just after the New Year
comes upon us.

4th email ( via third party from me )

Far too much info from that bird mate? Ask her what is the most mics she's gonna need on stage at any one time: and we can work back from there k thx

5th email ( responce to above)

Kinda like:

Bryan used to play guitar, but he may also bring a flute on the night, but if he comes with Cindy he may bring a piano and if Cindy is still going out with Harry he may bring a violin coz they love to have sex and play duet with Bryan, no wait, but.. Brian's going out with Nancy who plays drums with Kev bacause Kev has a knee injury after a gay affair with Phil and... etc. etc. etc.

No... but Like, seriously? How many fukin mics do you actually need on stage pet??


Good job that bird ain't a CEO eh?


Monday, November 12, 2007

Bad Mac... Good Mac!

Sooo: for the first time in five years my Mac ( or one of them ) went down so hard that I had to get the OS disks out and do a full reinstall. Totally my fault as I pulled it's plug to plug the vacuum cleaner in as it was doing a software update.

But... Being a Mac, it reinstalled the software exactly to the point where I'd fucked it. No new configurations, no lost software, no reinstalling anything extra, just a bit of a software update that took care of itself on-line. It looks exactly as it did. What a superb bit of kit eh!

Only prob was that I couldn't find my OSX disks yesterday and so had to borrow some today.

Spent yesterday down the pub instead.

What else? Oh yes I've agreed to meet Bibi for a drink tonight. I've been ignoring her since that fateful night in her kitchen and I really don't think she likes being ignored. Especially when she drove past me at the pub the other day (I was stood outside having a cigarette ) beeped the horn, waved and I didn't even respond.

I'd just kinda erased her to self preserve myself. You get good at that sort of thing as you get older.

It'll be nice to say hello again... the dogs!

I'll hear what she's gotta say though, it'll maybe stop me hating her stupidity for buggering up a pretty great relationship?


Well see... said the blind man!

Wow, we really did turn up in our thousands to buy the UK released iphone . Tell you what the problem is Apple: O2 as a network carrier with 2G internet coverage in only 30% of the UK... completely sucks!!!

Danger alert! This is the sickest most twisted web site I have ever seen, seriously... Don't view this at work ever!

Right, I'm gonna catch up on a bit of work.


Friday, November 09, 2007

Pedal to the metal?

Sooo: Am I an adrenaline junkie, an addict or a complete fukin loonie tune? I can't work it out, is there something really missing from my life, or do I just want more.

The reason I ask is that I took my Calibra out tonight and negotiated the back streets of London at 100mph plus.

Just because I felt the need to .

It was 5am, so no real danger to anyone but myself. Total rush, but... totally stupid to be honest, I came home shaking with adrenalin, yet strangely satisfied.


  1. The Cali kicks ass.
  2. I'm probably lucky to be alive
  3. I'm an idiot
  4. I should buy a racing car and go fukin racing.
  5. I like to have a bit of fun.
  6. I'm strangely dissatisfied with life in general?
  7. I should have lost my license.
  8. It felt sooo fuking good!
Interesting... but stupid.

What a rush though.


Oh dear, oh dear indeedy.



Thursday, November 08, 2007

Detour daughter .

Sooo: Remember I told you the story of the night I broke up with Bibi and stopped at the local pub to re-group, bumping into my mate C and his 22 year old stunning art student daughter in the process.

Well, I was having a couple of pints last night and in walks C again. With daughter in-tow.

Seemingly every Wednesday she does the gardening for a local Nunnery and then C and Daughter get pissed together at my local. I like C, he's just a totally worldly wise bloke and he's always good to have a crack on about life in general.

I like his daughter even more though!

Anyway it gets to 11:30 and daughter J says to me: " Would you mind walking me to the station?"

Of course I was only happy to oblige but... we never quite made it to the station? We kinda detoured... via my flat.

Where she stayed the night.

In my bed.

All good.

J is an exceptionally beautiful girl, I fancy the absolute pants off her. She could be my girlfriend any day of the week. She fancies me too, I can see it in her eyes. You know when you look at somebody and their pupils get sooo wide you feel like you can actually fall in and it makes you just wanna grab hold of the person and snog em.

It's a lot like that. In fact it is that.

Dangerously hot.

We literally couldn't keep our hands off each on the way to the station last night.

Thus the detour

But... She also has a boyfriend?


Never mind, let's just see what happens shall we?

So yeah J, ditch the boyf please, I kinda have plans for you pet lamb.

I've also just had a couple of property developers look at my landladies house. I'm kinda managing the sale at the moment and If these guys are interested, I'll get a pretty sizable finders fee from them. Plus the landlady still wants me to find her a London base and look after it while she returns to Ireland to live.

We'll just have to see what happens I guess?

Right, I have a band to engineer tonight in central London: So I'd better get my shit in gear.

Interesting food produce

So Mr Bush... You gonna invade all of these places as well? I think not mate.


Monday, November 05, 2007

Mr Blue Sky.

Taken 35,000ft above our little planet 9:30 sat morning:

I like the fact that it's always summer above the clouds.

Sooo: Back from Istanbul. Still in one piece. All good.

Fri we had a pretty good gig at Fabric, left at 2:30 am, went home and slept for a couple of hours, then off to Heathrow for a 7:30 am check-in.

I've discovered a brilliant way of avoiding the ( pretty extortionate at £18/day ) Heathrow airport parking fees. I've found a place two stops back from Heathrow on the Piccadilly tube line where you can park your car for free in a residential area. Then you just basically jump on the tube the rest of the way. It took a couple of hours of searching via the satellite imagery of Google maps, but well worth the time methinks. There are no road markings on the street either, so if I was going away for a week or so then I could easily leave the car no probs at all..

I digress.

So yeah, we landed in Istanbul at around 3pm ( Turkish time ), sound-checked at 5:30, I finished up while the band did an interview for MTV. Then off to the hotel for an hour, then out for food at this mad little Turkish restaurant complete with violin and bongo entertainment.

I couldn't believe just how packed the streets of Istanbul are on a Saturday night? I'd say as busy if not busier than New York??

Istanbul is also a huge place, I've never seen as many Mosques in my life. Well worth the visit if you ever get the chance.

Pretty buzzing club as well, kinda like a mini Fabric. The band rocked it completely and the crowd went off! I've got a feeling we'll be back there in the near future. Good hospitality as well. I can vaguely remember stumbling back to the hotel at around six in the morning with two bottles of wine, one bottle of vodka and a bottle of Jamesons whisky. Can't remember much else really.

Sorry bout the lack of pics: I completely forgot to take my camera phone to the club??

Woke up at around 12:30 with an absolute killer hangover!!

Back through the streets of Istanbul to the airport at around 3 pm and back to London for 7pm.

Managed to take this picture on the way back ( fucked it in photoshop ) I kinda like it tho?

Flying back over London I'm looking out of the plane window and London looks like a war zone with all these explosions going off everywhere???


Then I realise that of course, it's the night before Guy Fawkes night: Every bugger's setting off fireworks!

What an amazing site as we descended over London with big explosions everywhere. Superb!

Kinda looked a bit Blade Runner-ish.

Bet the Carbon fukin neutral, health and safety, pain in the arse do-gooders will try and ban fireworks and bonfires next???? You can kinda count on it nowadays!

Never mind... just enjoy it while it's still here I guess?

Anyway...back to London, dropped off the car and went down the local boozer for a couple.

Pretty good weekend all in all. Feel totally relaxed today so I'm having a day off doing bugger all.

All good.

Still waiting on this bloody hard drive tho??? Seemingly it's coming on Wednesday now? Won't be buying from that company again.

This is clever ( well actually not that clever as the guy got arrested? )

Rocky... Brilliant!

Right, cup of tea.


Thursday, November 01, 2007

ipods and Dolphin pods ( You see what I did there? )

Sooo: I'm off to Istanbul for the weekend after playing Fabric tomorrow night, should be a good laugh, never been to Istanbul before ( Mind you: Never really fancied Turkey after watching Midnight Express a few years ago to be honest.)

I'll bring back some pics. Camera phone only mind you as my camera's fucked. Second one this year, both Nikon Coolpix , both with the same stuck lens problem. Wouldn't advise anyone to buy this Brand, the build quality is bollocks rubbish for the price??

OK what else: Oh yeah, somebody left an ipod in the venue about four weeks ago and never collected it.

Now it's mine... for the car.

Beats burning off CD's and having them skip as I go over bumps.

The four week venue lost and ( Not ) found rule: If it ain't collected within four weeks then it ain't obviously of any value to the owner and whoever finds it then gets to keep it.

Fair enough methinks.

Not fair enough seemingly for the guy who left a Brand spanking Macbook Pro ( A full-on top of the range and fully loaded model no less ) on a seat in the venue and then went away on holiday for six weeks hoping it would be still there on his return???

Errr... No!

Note to this idiot: Our venue is not a storage place for your electrical goods. If you knew it was there then you should have called to claim it? They do have phones and the internet ( for finding telephone numbers ) all over the world nowadays. The barman who found and then claimed it, sold it on Tottenham Court road mate ( not me.. But I wish it had been. )

And... don't try billing the venue for a new one, putting in a Petty claim and going for a court order ( as you did. ) Then... wondering why we don't let you back in the club you fukin numpty?

It was thrown out by the way ( just like him! )

People and their greater than thou egos eh!

I digress.

So yeah: Istanbul at the weekend. Back on Monday ( I think? )

This short film about Japanese dolphin slaughtering really got to me! This is a truly disgusting practice and should, in my opinion, be outlawed for good!

WARNING: Don't even think about watching this if you are of a nervous disposition! ( You have been warned! )


Skipping back to this summers gigs: The true story of why the sound on the main stages sounded so shit ( read: not loud enough ) at Glastonbury this year.

OK... Food and a nice bottle of wine.