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Sunday, May 28, 2006

Japanese Hoxton tweed!

Oh gawd, where do I start?

Ok sooo, that was some serious partying over the bank holiday weekend I can tell you..

Sat afternoon, went out with T to Kensal Rise after editing his tune at my place and spent the afternoon in the pub. T and his bird were trying to set me up with this girl they knew at some party in the city. I wasn't really up for it, but as the drinks kicked in I sorta backed off and said I'd go?

I also met this really cute girl in the pub who's like a yoga instructor and she offered me some private lessons at her place. Ho hum, private lessons eh? I kinda like the sound of that. I can safely say I'll be taking up that offer in the future..

Soo, we gets to this party in the city at around 11.30 pm, it's some hip-hop Northen soul do which was going off as we arrived. All good.

T's bird introduces me to this girl, but she's really not my type at all, so I just hit the dance floor and have a boogie. The DJ was playing some wicked tunes all night.

It gets to around 3.30 and we decide to all take off to this private club party in Hoxton. Not really a fan of Hoxton it's a bit too up it's own arse for my liking.

Anyway, we arrive at this party and it's just full of hyper-trendy (yeah you think so) over accessoried fukin "look at me, I'm so fukin brilliant I can't even keep up with my own coolness" Hoxton prick tossers.

Jeez louise, why don't you all go and open another art gallery or trendy internet cafe or something equally fukin useless. Oh, you already did!!

The music's kinda ok though, so I just plonk myself down on a leather sofa and watch the idiots doing their idiot stuff. Hoxton pricks are just unbelievably fukin stupid, they stand around thinking they're the dogs bollocks: but they're just like way off the scale on their own tossometers.

I rather hang around with a bucket and spade, at least the conversation would be more interesting!!

This guy sits down next to me dressed like a 70's school teacher (one of the looks seemingly?) and he's like "Socrates or Jung?"

I'm like "wot!!"

Him "Socrates or Jung?"

Me "Fuck off, you fukin idiot!!"

Thus endeth the conversation..


I go to the bar, have a line in the toilets and find another leather sofa away from Mr Philosophy pancake tweed trouser man!!

My mate T's had a row with his bird and gone home, but I've decided to hang in there, mainly to give myself something to write about, and boy am I glad I did coz this beautiful Japanese girl sits down next to me and starts chatting in broken English.

Oooo hello you!!

I'm chatting to this girl for like an hour and she's getting closer and closer and I'm getting kinda hotter and hotter.

"I'm florist, I like little flowers," she says

Yep, me too honey!

I can't help myself, So I grab her and stick the lips on, she obliges me.. Oooo!!

Great snogging skills this one.

This girl just has 'take me home and fuck my brains out' written all over her.

So I did!

Back to her place in the East end.

Her room looked like Hello Kitty had fukin thrown up in it though?

Not good..

I'd never had a Japanese girl before so I was all excited and stuff. I've dad American, Australian , Polish, French, German, Swedish, Hungrian, Jamaican, Spanish, Cuban etc. etc. etc. But never a Japanese number..

I'm on a world tour!

Anyway, She was fukin unbelievable in bed, very gentle, a superb body and she made this sorta squeeky sound which got me right off..

All good.

It gets to about 8 or 9 in the morning and things are getting a bit too lovey dovey Hello Kitty style for my taste, plus she doesn't smoke and I'm dying for a ciggie, so I kinda make my excuses and leave.

I leave her apartment building and I'm walking down the street when I remember that I haven't taken this girls number...Bollocks!! I go back to her building and I'm faced with like a million fukin apartment buzzers. Oh Fuck it!!

I thought about ringing them all but decided against it. Oh well nevermind eh! Plenty of fish in the sea and all that.

I haven't a fukin clue were I am, so I just walk to try and find a Taxi rank.

I see all these party people cueing up at this warehouse door.

Oooo...all day party.

So, I'm like "Why the fuck not, I don't really wanna go home yet."

I pay my tenner and decend into this Strobe-tastic black drum and bass sweat pit. This party is like going off man!! There must be like 1000 people in this basement just completely having it.

This guy comes up to me and he's like " What do you need mate, I've got E's, MDMA, speed, acid?" and I'm like "half a gramme of charlie would be nice mate!"

He toddles of into the darkness and returns with the half a gramme.

I go to the toilets and open the parcel..

Fuck! twat! cunt! This fucker's sold me a rock of crack!!!

I try to find him again, but that's just not gonna happen in this place so I chuck the crack on the floor (no way mate, not going down those stairs, thanks!!) and buy a pill off some other geezer..

This is a good party, but it's spoilt by the wannabe gangsters lining the walls, this is the sort place where if you picked up the wrong girl, you'd get fukin shot..

So I just hang around for an hour or two and then leave.

I find a Taxi and come home..

Absolutely knackered!!

Phew what a fukin weekend...


Soooo Benny scale of fuckedness = Way, way off the scale!!

Right, I'm tired so I'm gonna watch the Grandprix highlights, go to bed and dream about Little miss Japanese gwirl.



Anonymous Anonymous said...

you have a fan mate!
or maybe two

12:45 am  
Blogger london cokehead said...

Thanks, whoever you are!

1:46 am  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

really, you sure have dad lot's of women. Or you are some weird, creepy little man in a filthy jizz stainded room somewhere. Praying that maybe you could convince yourself all this b.s. is true. Maybe you are telling the truth. Youre this quasi famous engineer/producer/ label owner having lots of sex with beautiful women. Yet somehow you still have enough time and inspirition to write this silly litte blog. pretty believable mr. cokehead, pretty believable.

8:39 am  
Blogger london cokehead said...

Yep, making it all up mate..

Pure fantasy, even the pictures aren't real. They're made of playdough.

And yes, I've never had sex before in my life, In fact I'm a girl, with dooby pigtails.

And I work as a dummy (pacifier) tester for mothercare, In Clapham!!

Sorry bout that!

2:46 pm  
Blogger Doom/Blondie said...


Thanks for the invite dude... you made my day - I was missing the last two episodes of Lost and I just COULD NOT download them in anything less that 7 days via any other method.

Nuff respect and ting

Lord doom


7:01 pm  
Blogger london cokehead said...

No worries good buddy!!

7:18 pm  
Blogger Smartypants said...

Loved this post, sweetie. You made me laugh. = )

It looks like my trip to England is delayed. Maybe I'll be there in the fall. (?) = (

2:02 am  
Blogger headphonesex said...

So you saw the end of Lost, eh? Good, wasn't it. I was going to say something more interesting, then realised that I might end up spoiling it for others! Can't believe they've killed off the most interesting character... or have they!!

11:55 am  
Blogger london cokehead said...

More lost shit above

1:22 pm  
Blogger what's_my_line? said...

Too bad there won't be a replay on the Japanese bird. Maybe for the best though. Some of those girls come over from asia a little repressed and wake up freaky (yay!) but can get clingy.

6:46 pm  
Blogger london cokehead said...

Yep, that's why I left early, she was getting all clingy..

Damn she was hot though!

11:10 pm  
Blogger roxyfoxy said...

What a great post pure filth ! Did she have silky pubes ? I love reading about your fuck fests Mmmmm

6:58 pm  
Blogger london cokehead said...

And I like reading of yours dear!

8:29 pm  

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