The great parcel farce !!

Ok , I didn't have time to write about my parcel moment the other day so I'll do it now I guess ..

Soo , As you may or may not know , I had all my Christmas presents from my sister ( yes I have one of those things too !! ) stolen again this year ( happened last year as well ) . I automatically blamed ( sooo sorry chaps !! ) the Great British Post Office for their theft , as one does ..

I even put in a formal complaint !!

Anyway , the other day I was taking delivery of my new audio interface thingy and because it was kinda expensive , and I don't trust the normal post , I arranged ( at great expense to myself I might add ) to have it couriered to my home address , therefore I knew the exact time to the hour that it would be delivered ..

Ok , so I waited in the house for the above said parcel to arrive and ... It didn't ??

So , I get on the phone to the courier company , give him all my details and I'm like " Soo , where the fuck is it then ? "

Parcel guy : " It's been delivered mate , it was delivered and signed for at 3:34 pm , It says here on the computer "

Me : " Do fukin what mate "

Parcel guy : " Yep , delivered and signed for at 3:34 pm , that's what it says "

Me : " Ok mate , I'll get back to you "

Sooo , the plot thickens !!!

Right , I know that at this time there is only one person in the house ... The fat fuck polish women downstairs ...

So I go down and bang on her door ..

She answers , all smiling and shit ..

Me : " PARCEL ... FUCKING ... WHERE ? "

Her ( shrugging her shoulders ) : " I not understand ? "

Me : " Oh no , Don't give me that shit luv I'm not in the mood for games , now stop fucking around and just give me the fuking parcel "

Her : " Oh , you must be ........ , err yes , I have it here "

She then goes into her bathroom ??? and retrieves' the fukin parcel ..

By this point , I'm late for work , so I grab the parcel , take it upstairs and fly out the door to catch my tube to work ..

I know for a fact from the expression on her face that if I hadn't have gone downstairs and got it back , I would never have seen that audio interface again , period ... I would have been extremely pissed !!!

So , I'm sat on the tube fukin fuming about this and I get to thinking about my Christmas presents and I start to put two and two together ...

Soo, off the tube and straight on the phone to my sister ..

Me : " H luv , what exactly did you get me for Christmas ? "

Her : " Errr , a remote control car , why ?? "

Fucken fukity fukin fuck !!!!

Me : " I'll tell you later mate , I'm kinda pissed at the moment !!! "

Ok , soo , about a week before Christmas , fat Polish fuck and her husband had their nephew visiting them and guess what ... The little fucker had a brand new remote control car ...

I know this because I helped him put the fukin batteries in it ??

And they sat and watched me fukin do it ... Cunts !!!!

Soo , not only did fat Polish fuck try and steal my audio interface , she's had my Christmas presents two years in a row ??

Who steals Christmas presents , that's just fukin lower than low in my book !!

So , I get on the phone to the landlady and tell her the story ..

Her : " That's funny , I had my purse stolen the other day and they are way behind on the rent "

Me : " Get rid , no , seriously , just get rid ... "

Her : " I think you could be right "

Me ( and I can say this to her coz we have such a great relationship ) : " If you don't , then I fukin will !!! "

Her : "Ok , I think it's about time I served notice then "

Me : " Yep , I'm thinking that as well dear !!! "

Sooo , I haven't seen dodgy Polish couple since the event , kinda on purpose though coz I will lose the plot if they start but I know the landlady has given them notice to quit and that's all I really care about at the mo ... It just makes me think of all the bank cards , mobile phones , demo CD's , publishing cheques etc. etc. that all went missing in the post last year ..

Bunch of thieving fukin cunts !!!

Bye ..