You should be band ( sic ) , mate !!

Sooo , I was sat in the house yesterday afternoon after the gym , you know , chilling , bottle of wine , listening to Radiohead , photoshopping away and I get's a call from D who runs the venue where we run the club and do live band's etc...

D : " U going to be long the bands have arrived ?"

Me : " What fukin bands ? "

D : " The bands that are on tonight "

Me : " On where ? "

D : " Errr the venue , your engineering them ."

Me : " What the fuck are you on about ? "

D : " The June the 29th band night that we booked a month ago "

Me : " You're having a fukin bubble mate ( bubble bath = laugh ) "

D : " No , i'm fukin being serious "

I check my Diary , holy Macaroni , he's fukin right !!

Me : " hold the fort , i'm on my way " ..

Click ......

Ooooo ....

Beep Beep out of the way , steam train running with no sign of letting up ...

I get my shit together ( real fast !! ) , and fly out of the door , knocking the girl across the hall ( who's painting her front door ) flying . Sorry love no time for an apology ....

Anyway , I make it to the venue one and a half hour's late , and complete the worlds fastest band soundcheck in the history of mankind , ever .... 55 mins for 3 bands + 1 acoustic solo act .....

Just shows how fast it can be done , when you can be arsed !!!

Outcome : After a period of shock , it turned out to be a wicked night , with some excellent unsigned bands ...

So now i'm home , it's 1 o'clock , and i'm trying to relax by blogging ...

Note to self : Check your fukin diary mate ....

That's it , I need a P.A.

Sooo June 29th , that makes tomorrow ( well today technically ) the 30th , so that means bands tonight as well , Jeez Louise ...

No rest for the wicked eh ...

All money in the bank I suppose ... Woohooo !!

Your far too fukin busy mate , hang in there !!

Right ..

Bed ....

Studio's and fine wine ...

Soo , I spoke on the phone ( hospital bedside ) to my mate L last night , she seems OK after being hit by a taxi , she sounds really down though ,, She seems to be more bothered about cancelling the tour then about being fucked up ...

She has , 1 broken arm , 1 broken back , 1 smashed pelvis , 1 metal plate in smashed pelvis , lots of stitches/staples in her head , 1 frame that is sorta holding her all together and a sore bum ...

Aww , poor dear , at least she's still alive ..

L's a lot of fun , as you probably saw in her website

She's one strange character though , only girl I know with an Alter in the front room , not really normal behaviour that one kid!!

I'm sure Cosmos the cat likes it though ..

We went to a party once , at this Studio launch in West London .. We'd had a huge row outside , can't remember what about , but we were sorta seeing each other at the time ..

Anyway , She's grabbed the nearest good looking bloke at the party , taken him in the toilets and shagged his brains out to make me jealous ( as one does !! ) , told you she's strange ..

And i've just thought " fuck this " , found the nearest comfy couch , the first bottle of alchohol to hand ( a bottle of red wine ) , de-corked it and swigged the whole bottle from the neck in about a minute , I'm in a real bad fukin mood here people ..

Sooo , now i'm pissed .. The Owner of the studio storms up to me and say's , " what the fuck happened to that bottle of fukin wine mate " ...

Me , " I donknow I fukin dwank it I twinks smate "

Him , " What do you mean you fukin drank it "

Me , " Errr like I fukin pwut the bottley thingy to smy lips and "

Him , " You fukin twaty fukin cunt "

He and his security bods , pick me up and throw me down the stairs and out of the party "

I'm confused , really pissed but still in one piece ..

I go home , tail between my legs ...

Turns out that the innocent bottle of red just happened to be a bottle of Chateau Mouton Rothschild 1961 pauillac ... ( try saying that when your pissed ... )

Woops , thats err only about £2000 ( $3600 US ) worth of plonk to you and me , and I've swigged it down in under a minute ..

O dear , O dear in deedy ..

I ring the studio , grovel , and get exploded at over the phone ...

What else can you do !!

Note to self : Always check the fukin label mate ...

After that L is no longer my gwirl , which is good because she ( after a while ) turned out to be one of my best friends ...

Sooo , get well soon L , cos the world's a better place with you onboard babe ...

Going to the gym ...

Russian Stalker E-mail of the day :

IT IS VERY PITY,THAT You Do not WANT TO TALK WITH ME!!!!!!! IT IS VERY STRANGE !!! WHY???

Errr , no real reason dear !!!

Listening to : Chan Chan ( Buena Vista Social Club ) ... I still love this album , fell asleep when I watched the film though .. ( but have seen it since , in three different languages , love it ) ..

Out the door !!

Hyde Park Pics

hydeparkstack
Originally uploaded by Doalch.

Ok Soooo , pics from Hyde Park ..

1. Big Stage ( fukin Big stage )
2. Big Stage 2
3. Our stage + Lighting desk
4. Our stage + FOH console
5. Mid Gig ( not my band though )
6. Monitor Desk
7 . Side view of stage ( again not my band )
8. On stage view
9. Around 2pm , behind FOH console ( not even busy yet !!! ) , and no , not my band ...

Honestly I will buy a better camera !!

Ouch !!

Today was a bad day ...

My friend L ( girl ) , who has just moved to Berlin and was on a tour of Germany , had an argument with her German boyf the other night , she stormed off in anger and walked straight into a taxi , she has broken arms , legs , pelvis , and has smashed her head to bit's ...

Soo she sits in a hospital in Berlin in a cage thingy smashed to pieces , and there's nothing I can do to comfort her ...

Might catch the next flight to Berlin if I have the time ..

Oh L get well soon babe ..

I love you mate ...

She'll be OK though , she's a trooper !!

L's alter-ego blogg

( this is what she does ) ....

Back with the band !!

Woohoo , it's official , i'm in the band again !!!

Guess I did my job properly then .... Well done me ....

That means lots of work , lots of gigs , lots of parties and shit loads of fun , I fukin love this job !!

Sooo , we absolutely kicked ass in Hyde Park yesterday , we played the smaller stage about 2000 capacity , but when we'd finished , I walked out of the tent and there was about another 1500 people standing outside who could'nt get in ... Fukin top gig ..

Fat sound ( 40 K turbosound ) nice desk ( Midas Verona ), unbelievable performance by the band , wicked stage lighting and the crowd were going totally nut's for us ...

I like this band , they rock ...

Strange really , it's sorta come full circle , I used to play in the band ( keyboards ) , but I got kicked out for falling off stage too much !!! , it was just after I'd lost my parents , and I was playing Mr angry selfish prick boy i.e. getting completely fucked out of my tree all of the time , and being a complete fukin wanker .. Horrible times really , but all in the past and all forgotten ..

Guess i've earned my stripes again...

Phew that was close ...

I much prefer to do the Live sound then to actually go on stage , it means no photoshoots , no interviews and no signing fukin autographs . i hate all that shit ..

Plus you get paid double !! , a lot more responsibility though ...

It's good because you have to stay sobber till after the gig , as opposed to getting slaughtered to deal with the stage nerves , means you have to babysit the band though ..

Just try and mix a band live when your pissed , that's a big fukin no no !!

I've got some pictures , but i've left my phone at my mates house , so i'll post them tomorrow ..

Anyway , after the gig , I went to the aftershow party and got completely munted with the band ...

Seemingly I was talking to the Chilli Peppers , but I can't remember , I can't remember much really ..

Lots and lots of really hot women though , they just love to follow the bands , I like that bit , a lot ...

I bowed out gracefully this morning at 6am .. No fukin more please !!

I wish Little Mistress could have been there , but she was moving house ..

Next time dear ..

I missed you babe !!

Russian Stalker e-mail of the day :

From: ..........._a@.........ru
Subject: LOVE

I DRINK A LOT TODAY!!!!!!I WANT TO SEE YOU VERY MUCH!!!!!!!!!!BEST WISHES TO YOU,MY DEAR!!!!xx ANASTASYA

Ummm !

Gonna go a cook some food now , i'm fukin starving ..

Listening to : James Blunt ( Back to Bedlam ) ... Nice voice , but pretty standard fare really ...

Benny Scale of fuckedness = 750

Right , food ..

Pitch and Putski

Sooo , it's another fukin glorious day in Londinium , hoorah !! .

Were in the middle of a heatwave ! , fukin superb ...

No point in staying in bed today , far too hot ( and nice ) to be shut in the studio ..

So i'm off to play Pitch and Put ( sort of mini golf for the masses ) with a couple of mates ...

Last time we played , my mate B overshot the first hole and knocked some little kid out cold , when he came to the poor bugger had an egg the size of a small planet on his head !!! sorta funny now , but at the time his mother was threatening all out gorrilla warfare .. BATTLE she cried !!! , so we all ran away ... RUN AWAY !! and we did ...

Just checked my e-mail , another fukin dozen from Anastasya Stalkeretski ( see previous post !! ) ...

eg : From: .........._a@------l.ru
Subject: Re[4]: I WANT TO SEE YOU,AGAIN!!!!!!!!!!

HI!IT IS ANASTASYA(princess)!!!!I DO'T FIND YOU NUMBER IN MY MOBILE !!!!!! WE NEED 2 INVENTATIONS TO LONDON FOR ME AND MY FRIEND, I WHANT TO VISIT LONDON AS SOON AS POSSIBLE !!!!WE SPENT WOUNDERFULL NIGHT TOGETHER ,THANK YOU !!!!!!!YOU ARE VERY BEAUTIFUL,I LIKE YOU !!!!!!!!!

O dear !!!

Wounder ( sic ) , what the fuck a wounderfull ( sicski ) night consist's of ???

Note to self : Don't fukin flirt with the fukin natives mate , ever !!!

Bacon sandwich , Bacon sandwich ... yum yum !!!

And coffee !!! , double yum !

Sooo , were doing Hyde Park on Sat ( BIG FESTIVAL ) , can't wait ...

Guess that means more pics for you lot !! , i'll try and get loads this time people ..

Listening to : Radiohead ( Amnesiac ) , always good with a bacon sandwich and a cup of coffee!

Right , out of the door , off to enjoy the sun ( while it lasts ) ...

A model citizen ( not on my fukin passport luv !! )

Sooo , I think i have aquired a Russian stalker !!!

I gave that Ruski model my e-mail address , and now she won't leave me the fuck alone !!

Yikes !

The e-mail's started off nicely enough , but now we are in the realms of , get this , "I love you and I want to come and live with you in London " ..

Oh !! , you mean you want a British Passport dear , lets get this fukin straight shall we !!

O dear ! , anybody who tells me they love me within 3 days of meeting them ( and without going to bed with them ) , scares the absolute shit out of me ..

And she rang me before and left a message ??

Ermm , how the fuck did you find my fukin number luv ?

I'm in London , your in Moscow ????

Now that's fukin scary mary , very fukin scary mary ...

Sooo , i've e-mailed her back , and in the nicest possible way , I have told her to back the fuck off.

Alrighty !!

Note to self : Ask around to see if anyone ( who was in Russia with us ) has given out my number to a strange girl !

They fukin band probably did it for a laugh ... Ha dee fukin ha lads !!!

Where's that vodka , Oh there you are ..

FuckwhizzjeezsusfukinAwhatthefuckthatsjustburntmyfukinthrotin
halfforfucksakeinthemiddleofanearthquakewithnofukinchanceofescape
fukineveraaarrrgghhh !!!

Ugggghhhh !!

That'll be the Russian Vodka then mate ..

Jeez fukin Louise !!!

Give me a minute ...




Phew , sorry bout that !!

Sooo , O yes .. Mad Russian nodel ( nodel ? what the fucks a nodel ) , model , on my case !!

Oh well , that'll teach ye !!

Doughnut ...

Going to bed !!

Ummm !

From Russia with Loveski

Russiastack
Originally uploaded by Doalch.

Ok , as promised some pics of russia ..

Soo pick 1 , this is the stage ( obviously !! ) ..it looks quite small on this pic but it's actually about 70 feet tall , it's on a barge out on the Moscow river about 40 feet away from a beach and the audience ( man made beach , I don't know ?? ) ..

Pic 2 , is the view from the stage , you can see the water out in front , great for getting splashed ( and electrocuted !! ) , the speaker systems about 80K for anyone who want's to know , in laymans terms that means fukin loud !!

pic 3 , lots of record decks , guess superstar DJ's have all turned into fukin octopusses ??

Pic 4 , My office for the night , cos the stage is on a barge , the desk is on the side of the stage behind the fukin speaker stacks , really , really ! good fukin idea matesky ... Fukin A ...

Doughnuts ..

Damnski !!

I'm backsky ...

Sooo , yeah , that was a bit full on !!

Russia fukin crazy placeski ..

The hospitality was unfukinbelievable , I've never drank so much vodka in my life ..

We had a VIP table at the gig where every time you finished your drink , it was replaced by another, courtesy of some fit Russian hostess babes !! , and all fukin free ..

Damnski !!

I'm sat at the table with this Russian fashion model and she's stuffing soo many fukin drugs up my nose that it's just not funny with as much booze as I could ever possibly handle , happy fukin day's ...

I mean what's this girl want with little old me ???

Anyway , the gig went down a storm , big sound system , big crowd , big fukin everything really !!

Russia is ( at the moment ) , very hot , very cheap ( 30p for 20 Malboro lights cheap !! ), very interesting and just full of the most beautiful women I've ever seen , fukin ever , fukin period !!

Double damnsky !!

I'm tired though , so i'll post the stories tomorrow !!

Got some pictures , but only with a camera phone so not that good really ( in fact shit !! ) , but i'll find a blue tooth adapter and post a couple ..

Note to self : please buy a digital camera mate !!!

Benny Scale of fuckedness = 790

Going to bedski !!

Nightski !!!!!

P.s. I've decided that I fukin hate fukin airports !!

The Beauty of drugs ...

Going to Russia in 3 hours time , I have had 0 hour's sleep ....

O dear !!

My head is a shed full of used garden implements !!!

Oxes kick Soxes

Sooo , my legs feeling a lot better , thank gawd !!

I've got 30 mins to kill , before I have to put a rocket up my arse and go to Covent Garden to get measured for a Tuxedo ( don't ask ) , it's not very often you get me in a fukin suit !!!

I'm gonna attempt the gym today ( upper body only ) , haven't been for two weeks now , shock horror the fukin gym you cry !! , yes , i may be a cokehead but i still like to remain buff , ( I used to be a Muay Thai Boxer of some rep you know !! ) ... Cokehead does not equal total fukin dropout !! ( although I was losing my six-pak to a four-pak of Stella Artois ) , it just mean's I like to explore with one of nature's more dangerous concoctions ...

Anyway , Little Mistress is coming to see me tonight , I'm gonna cook her some tea , then we'll shag each other's brains out , she like's that , me too , the she'll go home , then i'll go to bed !!

Awww !

All good , all good indeedy ...

Rehearsals with the band tomorrow , then were off to Russia Friday , woohoo !! , watch out Moscow , lock up your daughters were c'min to get ya !!

Should have some good rock-n-roll stories to tell on Tues/Weds ...

+ i'll try to get some pics from behind the mixing desk ....

One of the guitarist's has just rang me to invite me out for a pint , it's 11:32 am , guess he's started already , i declined , i have shit to do today , fukin shame really , one could do with a jolly-up !! , never mind ...

Listening to : The Oxes ( Oxxxes) , I live engineered this band not so long ago and to say they were fukin brilliant is the understatement of the fukin year , they absolutely rocked ( an extreme ass kicking was had by all !! ) .. One of the best performing band's i've ever seen , shit hot !!

Go see if you get the chance ..

Out of the door all ..

See ya !!

Wrong motor kid !!

Sooo , Me and little Mistress sat and got pissed all day Saturday in the pub .. All good

So it's gets to about 7 pm and we decide to ring the man after having a run in with some fukin idiot bouncer , I was only waiting for Little Mistress to return from the toilet and I would have happily moved for you mate ... But you wouldn't let it lie would you , you fukin bullying control freak prick ... Nevermind , your loss !!

Anyway ... The man arrives and calls me from outside the pub , so I go out to meet him . This dude drives an Audi convertible , so I see his car , I get in and he drives off , suddenly big screech of brakes , and i get thrown across the fukin dashboard ??

" who the fuck are you ? "

" and who the fuck are you kind sir ? "

Turns out i'd gotten in the wrong fukin car , this dude was waiting for his girlfriend to come out of the videoshop . We'd both been in such a hurry we hadn't clocked each other . ( It was fukin dark , don't ask !!! )

We both see the funny side and go our seperate ways !!!

Returned to the man's car , he's seen all and is pissing himself laughing , Ha dee fukin ha ha mate !!! ..

Returned to the pub and me and little Mistress get spanked !!

Stayed up all Sat night being rude ...

And Sunday ...

I cooked Little Mistress some food and she left about 8 pm ... Awww !!

Awww !!

And that was that ...

Cooking : Thia Green Curry a la me !!

Listening to : Black Eyed peas , Monkey Business .... Ummm , sound's like it's been made in a fukin toy shop ... I was just about to say nothing more on that subject , but a fukin track has just come on that sample's Sting " Englishmen in New York " ...
For fucks sake ...

Note to the Black Eyed Peas : An Englishman in NY is a classic track which does not need your fukin help , fukin ever !!!!! Jeez fukin Louise ....

Remind's me of when I was in a bar in Ibiza listening to that Notorious BIG tribute cover of "Every Breath you Take " and this girl turns round to her mate and says " Eeer av yuuu eard that that Sting bloke's ripped this song off " and er mate says " yeahh !! , it's a really shit version an all , ee's even left the rap bits out " ....

Ha haaa haaha haa ha !!!

Fuck off !!!

Pink Falic Boomerangs, oh ! and bar managers

Sooo..

I hobled over to the club last night , and it was way fukin busy ...

All good ...

Anyway , at the end of the night we found this rubber dildoe ( don't ask ) on the floor ...

We decide to put it on the outside handle of the bar managers door , as you do !!

Soooo , the bar manager comes out of his office , the dildoe falls on the floor , he doesn't notice it , were all pissing ourself's laughing , as two year olds do !!

BM : " what the fuck you lot laughing at ?? "

Staff : " err nothing mate "

He take's one step forward , trips over the dildoe and goes flying along the fukin bar , taking with him a crate of beer and two barmaids ...

Ha haaa haaaa haaa ha ha haaa ha !!!!!

He's not laughing , he picks up the dildoe , and chucks it at one of the barman !! , but !! , at the same time he slips again on the newly washed bar floor and lands flat on his arse !!

The dildoe ( now way off it's assigned target ), flips across the room like a pink falic boomerang of joy , and land's headlong into one of the bouncers pint of lager .

PLOP !!!

The contents of the pint go all over the bouncer and his mates !!

By this time were all fukin roaring !!

BEER FIGHT !!! , OH NO !! BATON DOWN THE HATCHES !!!!! , ITS A BIGGY ..

I left at four this morning , absolutely soaked in fukin lager !!!

You had to be there ...

Pure therapy !!!

Fukin Top !!!!

Going for lunch ...

Limited, unlimited Broadband

Sooo , I'm transferring a music file from London to NY , I started it last night , and expected to be done when I woke up this morning , so as not to disrupt the work flow with the boys in America ... All good , pretty simple really ..

I look this morning 2% done , fukin what ??

I notice after checking the router that my bandwidth is way fukin down ??

I get on the phone to the ISP , after 45 mins , I finally get through to some doughnut in sales !!

" O yes he say's , due to the amount of stuff you down and upload weve decided to restrict your bandwidth as it is affecting other customers "

" YOU'VE DONE FUKIN WHAT !!! "

" due to the amount of stuff you down and upload weve decided to "

" yeah I heard that bit you plank , so you're trying to tell me that your restricting my unlimited fukin broadband line , notice the keyword unlimited here batman ... because i'm using it too fukin much " ..

" Sir can you please stop swearing .. and yes that seems to be the case "

Click !!

Fukin unfukinbelievable !!!!!!

The shit we have to put up with in London is complete BOLLOCKS !!!

Sooo I've switched supplier ..

Fuck them i'll sue for breach of contract if they give me any shit !!

So till the switch I have to put up with broadband that's running at about the same speed as fukin dialup ( 2-3 weeks ) ....

WANKERS !!!

Rip off fukin Britain !!!

The name and shame : TalkTalk broadband , don't use em they lie !!

B.O.R.E.D

Totally bored , still in a lot of pain , tripping out on heavy painkillers , bored ( did i already say that ) , not a happy bunny really ...

Never mind , been sat out front of the flat , it's beautiful in London today !!! , scorching hot , glad i'm not using the fukin tube ... Pheeewweee !!!

I posted some art that i knocked up yesterday as my pofile picture , just click to ( o you fukin know ) ...

This is gonna be the front page of my site when it's finished ...

Hope you like it ??

Note to self : Sort out that fukin Russian visa , ring the courier , like fukin now you prick !!

...........

Ok rang the courier , passport being picked up , visa all sorted out ...

God I could do with a P.A. this week , I really could ...

Note to self : Don't dance so long with little Mistress , I'm not as young as I once was , not that old come to think of it either !

I'm so fukin bored !!

Can't do anymore web design , all web designed out ..

Not in the mood to do music ...

Can't get to the the man , not on this fukin leg ...

Can't be bothered to blogg a story ..

O woe is little old me !!

Fuck it ...

Listenig to : Coldplay X&Y , I love this album , but Chris darling , please write some fukin decent fukin lyrics . " I/we rode on a tidal wave , I/we rode into outer space " , I mean come on mate, Jeez louise you can do better than that for fuck's sake ???
A five year old could write that ( if they could be arsed ) !! , listen to some Pink Floyd or do some drugs or shag fukin Gwyneth up the bum or something !! ... Your band is so close to being in the top 100 of all time , Just sort out the fukin banally retentive ( sic .. ) lyrics mate !!!

Turin Brakes new album ( jackinabox) is so fukin nice as well , now that kid can write .... " I'm only nine , and i'm already feeling the strain " , class ...
I wonder if that was written from experience , it's about ( i think ) , a dad who's just told his son that he is dying ... Epic stuff mate , first class !!!

Once again, apologies for any speelling or grammmor mistakeis , i'm on heavy painkilleries !!!

Gonna be bored in the fukin Sun ....

Is it a bird ? , is it a plane ? , no , It's a Swiss doughnut !!

Soo , my calf muscle is in agony , I'm bored , and these painkillers are really tripping me out ..

Hope this is gonna be all better for Russia ??? , thats all I need when I'm trying to set up a band ..

Bugger !!!

Anyway as i've got a bit of time on my hands , i'll tell you all a story ...

Sooo gather round the campfire , get your marshmallows ready ( to toast ) , and don't get to close , no really you'll burn yourself , no really !!! , there I fukin told you so , you've burnt your shoes haven't you , you fukin doughnut !!!

Anyway , listen put that fukin guitar down will you ...... Thanks !!!

Ok ...

Sooo , I'm doing a gig in Switzerland , land of the cuckoo clock and errr !! , o yeah it has some mountains , and it's the only place i've ever been where you can smoke dope openly in a restaurant ( really , no shit ) ...

Soooo , i'm on stage playing keyboards , mid gig in front of about 1500 people , when this guy runs across the stage in a fukin frenzy , I look at the lead singer , he look's fukin worried , but the show must go on , anyway this guy goes flying past me like he's running for his life , followed by a huge security guy towards to the front of the stage ... Aha , a Swiss stage diver me thinks !!! , he get's to the edge of the stage with this mad look on his face , and he's just about to jump , when he realises that were about 15 feet off the ground and the audience ( the people who will ultimately catch him ) are about 20 feet away , a complete no brainer really ..

Sooo this guy changes his mind ( good thinking superman !! ) , but , It's too fukin late , he's changed his mind mid flight , Elvis has left the building ladies and gentleman , last orders at the bar please , red leader , bleep , were going in !!! .

His face turns fukin green , I'm at enough of an angle to see the absolute terror in this guys eyes !! , and as if in slow motion ( i think the strobe light helped ) , he decends into the abyss .... Thwack !!!!! , his chin lands first , right between two gaps in the the fukin crowd security rail ... Ouch !! , thats gonna hurt in the morning pal , the rest of his body goes over the top , but his head is stuck fast and he springs back like an elastic band towards the stage and land's in a heap in the middle of no mans land between the crowd and the stage ... I really thought he'd broken his fukin neck ...

This guy is totally knocked out cold on the floor ..

The lead singer is at this point curled up on stage pissing himself ...

Me and the rest of the band can't play for laughing ..

The security guy just stands at the edge of the stage shaking his head in utter disbelief , and even the paramedics are doubled up fukin laughing ...

It takes the paramedics and two security guards , about ten minutes, two people on each leg , to pull this guys head free from the guard rail ...

I wish I'd had a camera ...

You proper , proper fukin doughnut !!!

Notice to all stage divers , everywhere : Do the fukin calculations before makin the fukin jump ....

Ummm !!!

Fukin ouch ....

Sooo , where the fuck do I start , ok so i'm on the dancefloor on Sat night and I get this feeling like somebody has just hit me with a metal bar across my calf muscle's , fukin ouch !!! , so I turn around and there's this guy behind me , I put 2 and 2 together in fukin agony and strare this guy staight in the eyes , " if you have done what I think you have just done , i'm gonna fukin kill you man , you little fukin prick !!! , big time " ... This guy stares at me with a confused look ... Ok plan B , assess the situation , i'm in real pain here people ....

It turns out i've been dancing too hard and i've ripped my fukin calf muscle ... Jeez louise ...

So I go back to little Mistresses in a taxi , and forget all about it ..

I wake this morning , jump out of bed , and fukin collapse in fukin agony !!!!...

Sooo I spent the whole day in A&E with Little Mistress and the Sunday Papers ...

Outcome : I'm on fukin crutches , Little Mistress was an absolute darling for hanging out with me all day , I 'm falling for this girl , big time , she's an angel ...

I have to rest for the next three days ...

so i'm gonna be bored , so i'm gonna blog some stories ....

I'm still in pain !!

Shit man i've never had anything like that in my life , that really fukin hurt man !!!!

Good job I was sobber enough to realise it wasn't the kid behind me's fault , i would have fukin killed him , talk about fight or flight , that was a definite fight situation !!!!

Anyway , i am broken and need some time to be fixed !!!!

Sorry if my spellings bad , i'm on some pretty heavy duty painkillers ...

so i'm going to bed ..

Night ...

Speed of shock !!

Sooo , I've finally had a good nights sleep , Oh I feel almost human again ... Hoorah !!

What is it Sat , Sun , Mon ??? , Oh goodie it's Sat , that means I have a date with Little Mistress ..

I have finally plugged in the PowerMac G5 , It rocks , Just pulled up a song on Logic Audio , and I can't get it to crash no matter how much shit I throw at it .... Cool , that's gonna make for some pretty complex music , fukin A , fukin A indeedy !!!! ..

Me and Little Mistress are going to the Pics , and then for dinner , no parties this weekend I'm afraid , I need to calm it before I start gigging with this band , cos I know it gonna go off the Richter scale , it always fukin does !!! , good thing / bad thing ?? i don't know , it my fukin job I suppose ...

Oh update ... were going out seemingly ( just got off the phone )

Club was dull last night , I actually sat out of the way and read the bumf for new G5 prog's .. Shake , Logic Audio , Final cut pro , Flash MX , Dreamweaver , Fireworks , Photoshop CS , Fetch , DVD studio pro etc etc etc .... Yaaawwwwnnnnnn !!

O fuck !!! , that lot + Hard drives + computer + audio A/D has just put a fukin £15,000 ( $30,000 us ) hole in my bank account ... Holy shit batman !!!

Never mind at least I have 1.2 Terrabyte's of storage , Yaaaawwwnnnn !!!!

Bleep bleep !!!

My G4 looks all redundant and sad !!!

O come here mate , it's not like that at all ....

I still love ya !!!

She's going to a good home ( haven't told her yet though , whisper !!! ) ...

Right , coffee , shower , get dressed , clean the flat , then out of the door !!!

Listening to : Coldplay X&Y ... Tee hee !!! , it arrived this morning , thought I would of had it a couple of weeks ago , after Speed of sound I expected this too be shit ... But , and it's a big but ( a bit like my ex American birds arse ) ....

It's fukin brilliant !!!

This is definitely on my Ipod ...

Chris Martin's voice just get's better and better and better ...

Luv it , and this is just the first Listen ....

It's fukin pissing down in London today !!

Right , shit to do people to see , life's to be led !!!

Leave my time alone ( you fucks ) ..

Sooo , I don't seem to have time to do fuck all this week , which is rather annoying as I like my own space and my own time !!!

I have a brand new G5 which is hasn't even been plugged in yet !!! , looks good though , all liquid cooled and everything ...

Maybe I need a bit of liquid cooling ...

Hmm ....

It's like 2 in the morning and i've just got in , if I start to relax now , that will take me till say 4 and then I have to be up at 9.30 thats only like 5 1/2 hours sleep for fucks sake ...

Thats really not good , not good at all ...

No rest for the wicked I guess !!!

What is it about this life , that means to get by , you have too give sooo many other's so much of your own time ??? , I mean get your own fukin time you fucks ..

That sucks man ...

Anyway , I know what I mean !!

Fathom your own version out ..

I'm so glad I work for myself ..

If i was doing this to put food on somebody else's table , while they payed me fuck all , as boses doo , I would go fukin insane ...

Fukin time kidnappers ..

Kill em all !!

There's a film in that somewhere ??

I need a cuddle from little Mistress !!!

I need a cuddle period ...

Any taker's

O well , never mind , I'll cuddle my fukin self then ..

I think I need a holiday , I haven't had one of those for four or five years ....

Actually , make that six !!!!!

Bugger ....

I could always cuddle the G5 ...

Umm maybe's not ....

I'm rambling ...

O yes , my website should be finished in a couple of month's ...

I've designed it all myself ..

looking good people , looking good ...

Fukin flash , pain in the fukin arse programme ...

I should really get some sleep ....

Now theres a fukin luxury !!

Listening too : nothing

Listened too earlier today : Turin Brakes ( Jackinabox )... This is growing on me like a fungus , it's a great fukin album ..

Bed ...

night ..