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Sunday, November 25, 2007

The Sunday review

Sooo: There seems to be a new fad hitting my local Sunday dinner pubs. It's kinda a replacement for the [lack of] smoking thing.

You see, what once used to be a nice smokey, ancient paint job, having a pint and a cigarette with your mates, watching the sports, getting pissed, falling off your stool, swearing your head off and generally having a bit of crack and a right laugh on a Sunday afternoon.

Has now become...

A fukin stale, static, wine swilling, no sports, new wall paper, playdoe smelling middle class couples and their 2 1/2 kids fucking nursery Sunday creche instead???

Jeez fukin louise

If I wanted to sit with screaming kids on a Sunday: I'd have some and stay at home thanks K!

I walked into my local last Sunday and in one corner of the pub, the tables had been pushed together and filled with screaming kids + plastic sheet + playdoe + colouring-in books + face paints + adults on another table drinking wine and talking about their fucking mortgages and what SUV they're gonna buy next???

Fukin disgusting!!

It's just not right.

It's not how I wanna spend Sunday.

To top it off, one of the PC ( PC.. really? Down the pub getting pissed with your kids luv? ) mums came over and ever so nicely asked us to keep the swearing down? Of course we ever so nicely asked her to: " Fuck off luv... you're kinda in the wrong place and all that? "

As Thom Yorke once put it: " Everything in it's right (fukin) place!"

Luv!

And why the fuck are you in the pub with your kids on Sunday anyway??

Don't get me wrong, I'm not anti-kids : In fact ( if I remember rightly ) I actually used to be one.

But...

Aren't you supposed to be in the park, or in the house cooking, or visiting Homebase and forcing your hubby to buy floral wallpaper and/or pastel doilies and matching napkin holders; or visiting your mother in Clapham or braking some bread with that Jesus bloke and his mates or like... ?

Just...

Not down the fukin pub with your 18 sprogs... annoying the locals?

On Sunday of all days?

What next? Ok, why not just stop serving beer altogether and start serving happy fukin meals instead?

No wait... isn't that called McDonald's?

Noooooo!!!!

I WANT MY SMOKEY NASTY FILTY FOUL LANGUAGE SPEWING FALLING OFF THE STOOL AND GETTING SOOO PISSED THAT YOU HAVE TO RING THE DEALER JUST TO GET BACK ON TRACK THUS STARTING ALL OVER AGAIN THEN DOING GARDEN JUMPS ALL THE WAY HOME AND FALLING IN SOME POOR BUGGERS THORN HEDGE SUNDAY DEN OF INIQUITY BACK PLEASE!!

In fact... I fukin demand it. It's my right to die in happy hell and Not...happy fukin valley?

K thx!!!

Have I made my point here???

Hmmm!

Going to the creche... for Sunday dinner with Bibi.

I'm moving



Laters

6 Comments:

Blogger Lippy said...

And it is just gorgeous! - love Oslo, love it - and so would you they all smoke like chimneys although £36 for a fairly bog standard bottle of Rioja is a bit steep, and it is the only place I've ever seen people buying rounds at the bar with credit cards.

5:08 pm  
Blogger Naive London Girl said...

I have equal disdain for anyone brining their kids to the gym. Some place are just for adults!

1:20 am  
Blogger london cokehead said...

"Some place are just for adults!"

Yeah... no shit!

I remember as a kid that you could only go in a pub beer garden with your parents if you were super quiet??

What the fuck is going on?

£36 for a bottle of Rioja ... Blimey! I paid £25 for a bottle yesterday over lunch and thought it was steep.

2:38 pm  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

think its v true bout being able to call a man to stay upright.
this is a current issue of mine in that some mean friends of mine encurage me to drink, but then cant help me out once wasted. this is not a cash issue, just if i had some on me and my mate were wrecked id give help. we all need help from time to time. if i dont get help i need a creche to roll around in ha ha ha.

3:02 pm  
Anonymous liz said...

Funny coincidence, I only found out this weekend who Thom Yorke was. (and I'm developing a kind of addiction to his music already.)

1:11 pm  
Blogger london cokehead said...

Thom Yorke is the cats underpants!

1:55 pm  

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