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Wednesday, December 20, 2006

2 Random acts of late night garage stupidity!

Sooo, 2 Random acts of late night garage stupidity that I've encountered over the last couple of weeks.

Act one: Choosing a bottle of wine

Sooo, I'm at the petrol garage over the road, it's about 10 at night and the've closed the main door so you have to pay at the little window, but I want a bottle of red wine.

After waiting ten minutes for the queue of drivers to pay for petrol, I finally get to the window.

Me: I know you've closed the door, but I want a bottle of wine and can't really see them from here, so can I come in and have a gander mate?

Attendant (Asian Bloke): Shrugs his shoulder " Tell me what kind you want and I'll get it"

Me: No idea mate, there's like a zillion bottles in there?

Att: Tell me price,I find you one

Oh gawd, nothing like having your wine selected by some randon garage attendant, but, i guess it was that or nothing.

Me: Ok, A nice red between £6 and £8

He goes away and after ten minutes he comes back looking totally confused and points at the door. Woohoo progress... he's gonna let me in!

In I go and within 30secs I've found a rather nice Chilean Merlot for under £6.50, so I go to pay at the counter, but, that would be too fukin easy wouldn't it!! No, you guessed it, I have to go outside to the window to pay while he locks up again???

By this time there's a queue of about 6 drivers wanting to pay for petrol, so, I stand , in the queue, in the freezing cold for another ten minutes while he serves the other customers!

Time to get a bottle of wine: Approx 35mins???


Act 2: The fukin idiot Jobsworth.

I get out from the venue early and fancy a drink, so I decides to go straight home via the same garage.

Time: Approx 10:15pm

The garage stops selling alchohol at 11pm so I'll easily make it (seemingly!)

Gets to the garage

Time: Approx 10:48pm

Plenty of time (seemingly)

Me (at the window): Err four Stellas please!

Att: Four?

Me: Four

He then toddles off to get the Stella, gets them and then speaks to the other attended for a couple of minutes.

Time: Approx 10:53pm

He returns with the Stellas and rings them through the till, but, the barcode scanner ain't working?

He calls for the other attendant to come over and they start fuking around with the till.

Time: Approx 10:57pm

10 mins later he gets the scanner to work. The till bleeps loudly.

He looks at the other attendant and pointing to the clock exclaims: " Sorry sir it's past eleven!"

Me: And?

Att: I can't serve you!

Me: WHAT!!

Att: I can't serve you, it's passed 11.

Me: You're having a fukin laugh ain't you, I've been stood here for 15 fukin minutes while you were fukin around with the till.

Att: Sorry sir I can't serve you!

Me: You are fuking kidding me aren't you

Att: Sorry sir I can't serve you!

Me: Naw mate, sorry I ain't 'avin that!!

Att: Sorry sir I can't serve you!

Me: You wanna have a word mate

Att: Sorry sir I can't serve you!

Me: If you say that one more time I swear to god!

He starts shaking his head in that funny way and making no eye contact as Indians do when they wanna blank you.

At this point my blood pressure hits the fukin moon!

This guy then turns his back and starts yapping to his mate??

I bang on the window, no fukin use! There's half inch of bullet proof glass between him and the fact I wanna rip this fuckers stupid throat out and he fukin knows it.

I go home in an absolutely foul fukin mood.

Stupid friggin Jobsworth!!

Needless to say, that garage no longer gets my custom, and If I wanna drink on the way home. I go on a detour to the 24 hour off-licence.

I'm getting angry just writing about it!!


Some people have far too much time on their hands?



Blogger Beth said...

I've never heard of somewhere where you have to pay for the booze at a window, or wait in your car much less.

AT LEAST YOU GOT THE WINE... that's really all that matters!

11:07 pm  

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