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Monday, December 11, 2006

Big night out (again!)

Man, that was some weekend!

Sooo, me and my T where sat in the pub Sat and I'm like "Come on son, let's go out out? And he's like "Where to?" I'm like "Donno, I'll make some calls!"

Twenty minutes later we're sorted. We jump in a cab and go to Shorditch via the dealer, and meet with my mate L who's doing some gig at this kinda fetish club, not my scene really but fun non the less I guess!

L does her gig which is kinda a techno backing track with her singing and covorting on stage... interesting!

There's some proper strange punters at this gig, I can tell you. But...there always is at these types of events...

You got like, girls dressed in rubber and men dressed in rubber and nurses and school teachers with wips and blokes dressed as babies etc. etc. etc .


I decides to have a wander round and stumble on this brick arch corridor with these small rooms off the side.

Ok, in room 1 is a load of fat blokes with small dicks doing whatever it is fat blokes with small dicks do??

Room 2 has a girl strapped to a rack having what I can only describe as a low powered tazer gun applied to different parts of her body. At least she seems to be having fun?

Room 3 has some fat bloke sat in his underwear with a sign round his neck reading "Tickle Me!"

I didn't!

Room 4 has one couple having full on sex and some black chic giving some bloke a massage.

I go back, moderetly amused, and prop the bar.

T reappears and I'm like "Where did you go?" And he's like "I been having a massage with some black chic!"

"O that was you was it?"

" Yep!"


I'm kinda bored with this place soo we leave the club at around 1 and meet up with my mate B who's DJ'ing at some allnighter down the road. After a bit of a mad bus journey, we arrive at this wicked basement club with a huge sound system and the place is just going off.

2 pills and an hour later, me and T are tearing up the dance floor and to be honest I can't remember anything till I got in a cab to go home at about seven in the morning.

My cabbie turn out to be the Turkish equivelent of Borat ! He kept trying to get me to test his English out? Just what you need at 7 in the morning, and then Instead of driving into London, he was driving out so I'm like " Mate your going the wrong way!" and he's like " I follow sat nav"

" Sorry mate your sat nav's is taking us to bloody Manchester!"

" No it right way!"

" Mate it's NOT the right way, turn it off, I'll direct you"

" No..It right, I follow"

Jeez louise!!

It took him to reach a sign saying "The North" before I finally managed to get him to turn around and follow my directions. Fukin idiot!

I got home eventually and couldn't sleep, so I just polished off a couple of JD and cokes and wiped out at about ten in the morning.

Sunday was therefore a complete rightoff!

My mate B text'd me yesterday and he's like " I though MrC was wicked, didn't no you knew him" and I'm like "C was there, completely missed that boat mate"

His reply " Ha ha you were chatting 2 him half the night u nutta! Enjoy the rest of your Sunday."

Oh dear!

I wonder if I'm getting to old to be doing this?

Sooo: Benny Scale of fuckedness = 895

Ok, I have to go and do some bands so I'm out the door



Blogger Alan said...

A gentleman of leisure, he's there for your pleasure
But go easy on old Eezer he's the love you could lose
Extraordinary fellow, like Mr. Punchinello
He's the kind of geezer who must never be abused
When you're in town and Ebeneezer is around
You can sense a presence in the sound of the crowd
He gets them all at it, the party starts rocking
The people get excited it's time to shout loud

Sounds like a belter matey!!

11:42 pm  

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