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Monday, November 14, 2005

Cross at the Cross .

Aaaaaaaarrrrrrrrrrraararrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrvooooooooommmmmmffffffffff splattt!!!

( That's the sound of me coming back down to earth with a big bang !! )

Sooo , what a weekend then eh !! B's party was absolutely mad , saw everyone , got fukin pickled , chatted up the lovely's , had a booogie , got more pickled , had conversations about life the universe and everything wih some strange dude I've never met before although he said he's known me for years ( that keeps fukin happening ? , more on that later ) and then had a boogie some more ..

Halfway through all of this , S ( B's brother ) got himself thrown out of the party , which was a pain in the arse as he was seemingly holding the afterparty !! Soo , It gets to two in the morning and we're all outside thinking " Where now ? " . I start chatting to my mate C ( Dance magazine editor journo type who I also make tunes with ) and he's like " we're going to *** " , it's not that I'm not telling it's just that I can't remember where he said he was going ? Sooo free-spirited little ole me jumps in the cab and off we go , where it stops nobody knows !!!

We arrive at some club in Kings Cross and off we go again ( The Cross I think it was ?? ) , I managed to lose C due to my heightened state of fuckedness , so I just hit the dancefloor and boogied away all night long ... Wooohooo !!

I left the Cross ( I think it was the Cross ?? ) at about six or seven in the morning , battled off the insistent dodgy looking minicab drivers " No I don't want a lift to hellville in your pile of shit excuse for a car thanks !!! " And took myself for a walk across London eventually finding an open Tube station . After falling onto/into a tube train , I made my way home , finished off the drugs , watched an episode of some Jamie Oliver thing in 3D ( wasn't supposed to be 3D but Hey ! it looked that way ) and stumbled into bed at about 10 am ... Ooooo !!!

Sooo , Saturday was completely written off and Sunday was just Sunday , took myself for lunch , read the Sunday Papers etc. etc.

And now I have returned to tell the tale of battles won and fair maidens looked at !!!

Soooo , Benny scale of Fuckedness = 900 ... Well done that man !!

This week is busy busy , three band nights .... Mon ( O shit that's tonight ? ) , Wed , Thurs .. Friday it's the club and Tues a day in the home studio !!

Oooofff .

Right , I'm starving so I'm going for lunch ..

Ta ra !

O yeah before I go .. I was talking to some girl the other week at a party ( very pretty little thing ) and I said to her " So what's your name then ? " perfectly good question I thought ..

And she says " What did you just say ? "

Me " Sooo , what's your name then ? "

Her " You are kidding aren't you ? "

Me " Errr noooo , It's only a question , you don't have to answer , I won't hold it against you "

Her " I've been in your life for like eight years and you don't even know my fucking name !!!! "

Me " Errrr noooo , I guess I've never noticed you before babe "

Beeep , Wrong answer me , do not pass GO , do not collect fuckin anything , go straight to the doghouse without a bone !!

Me " You must have changed your hair or something ? "

Her " Just Fuck off !!! "

Woops a daisy , there she goes , not a happy bunny , big fuckin oil spill in the ole bird sanctuary of life then Eh . Park that bus on a knife edge , chuck the keys out of the window and shoot the fukin driver won't you mate ...

" Anyone else while I'm here , Nooo , I'll get my coat then "

And I still don't know her fukin name ?

Why don't I think that that was the end of that little situation ?

It's all too confusing for little old me !!

Right , food , bye !!


Blogger Doom/Blondie said...

By forgetting her name you have entered the FOREST OF DESPAIR.

There is no escape.




Diamonds/oysters/sushi/cashmere/foot rubs.

NONE of that will work.

You better hope she wasn;t anybody important.

7:44 pm  
Blogger mcdolph said...

dude, just use 'honey' for girls and 'man' for guys. easypeasy.

12:00 am  
Blogger london cokehead said...

I'd been calling her babe .. honey , mate etc. for about an hour and I thought it was about time I knew her real name ... Only about eight years too late I guess ..

Damn those drugs !

12:32 am  
Blogger Smartypants said...

" Errrr noooo , I guess I've never noticed you before babe. "


I winced when I read that.

12:49 pm  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

I've had the same problem many times. If ever in doubt, get one of your mates to introduce himself and listen attentively. Had to do the rigamarole at a concert this weekend with a girl in line. Worked out great - not for me - she went off with the friend once we got inside.

5:12 pm  

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