Cross at the Cross .
Aaaaaaaarrrrrrrrrrraararrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrvooooooooommmmmmffffffffff splattt!!!
( That's the sound of me coming back down to earth with a big bang !! )
Sooo , what a weekend then eh !! B's party was absolutely mad , saw everyone , got fukin pickled , chatted up the lovely's , had a booogie , got more pickled , had conversations about life the universe and everything wih some strange dude I've never met before although he said he's known me for years ( that keeps fukin happening ? , more on that later ) and then had a boogie some more ..
Halfway through all of this , S ( B's brother ) got himself thrown out of the party , which was a pain in the arse as he was seemingly holding the afterparty !! Soo , It gets to two in the morning and we're all outside thinking " Where now ? " . I start chatting to my mate C ( Dance magazine editor journo type who I also make tunes with ) and he's like " we're going to *** " , it's not that I'm not telling it's just that I can't remember where he said he was going ? Sooo free-spirited little ole me jumps in the cab and off we go , where it stops nobody knows !!!
We arrive at some club in Kings Cross and off we go again ( The Cross I think it was ?? ) , I managed to lose C due to my heightened state of fuckedness , so I just hit the dancefloor and boogied away all night long ... Wooohooo !!
I left the Cross ( I think it was the Cross ?? ) at about six or seven in the morning , battled off the insistent dodgy looking minicab drivers " No I don't want a lift to hellville in your pile of shit excuse for a car thanks !!! " And took myself for a walk across London eventually finding an open Tube station . After falling onto/into a tube train , I made my way home , finished off the drugs , watched an episode of some Jamie Oliver thing in 3D ( wasn't supposed to be 3D but Hey ! it looked that way ) and stumbled into bed at about 10 am ... Ooooo !!!
Sooo , Saturday was completely written off and Sunday was just Sunday , took myself for lunch , read the Sunday Papers etc. etc.
And now I have returned to tell the tale of battles won and fair maidens looked at !!!
Soooo , Benny scale of Fuckedness = 900 ... Well done that man !!
This week is busy busy , three band nights .... Mon ( O shit that's tonight ? ) , Wed , Thurs .. Friday it's the club and Tues a day in the home studio !!
Oooofff .
Right , I'm starving so I'm going for lunch ..
Ta ra !
O yeah before I go .. I was talking to some girl the other week at a party ( very pretty little thing ) and I said to her " So what's your name then ? " perfectly good question I thought ..
And she says " What did you just say ? "
Me " Sooo , what's your name then ? "
Her " You are kidding aren't you ? "
Me " Errr noooo , It's only a question , you don't have to answer , I won't hold it against you "
Her " I've been in your life for like eight years and you don't even know my fucking name !!!! "
Me " Errrr noooo , I guess I've never noticed you before babe "
Beeep , Wrong answer me , do not pass GO , do not collect fuckin anything , go straight to the doghouse without a bone !!
Me " You must have changed your hair or something ? "
Her " Just Fuck off !!! "
Woops a daisy , there she goes , not a happy bunny , big fuckin oil spill in the ole bird sanctuary of life then Eh . Park that bus on a knife edge , chuck the keys out of the window and shoot the fukin driver won't you mate ...
" Anyone else while I'm here , Nooo , I'll get my coat then "
And I still don't know her fukin name ?
Why don't I think that that was the end of that little situation ?
It's all too confusing for little old me !!
Right , food , bye !!
( That's the sound of me coming back down to earth with a big bang !! )
Sooo , what a weekend then eh !! B's party was absolutely mad , saw everyone , got fukin pickled , chatted up the lovely's , had a booogie , got more pickled , had conversations about life the universe and everything wih some strange dude I've never met before although he said he's known me for years ( that keeps fukin happening ? , more on that later ) and then had a boogie some more ..
Halfway through all of this , S ( B's brother ) got himself thrown out of the party , which was a pain in the arse as he was seemingly holding the afterparty !! Soo , It gets to two in the morning and we're all outside thinking " Where now ? " . I start chatting to my mate C ( Dance magazine editor journo type who I also make tunes with ) and he's like " we're going to *** " , it's not that I'm not telling it's just that I can't remember where he said he was going ? Sooo free-spirited little ole me jumps in the cab and off we go , where it stops nobody knows !!!
We arrive at some club in Kings Cross and off we go again ( The Cross I think it was ?? ) , I managed to lose C due to my heightened state of fuckedness , so I just hit the dancefloor and boogied away all night long ... Wooohooo !!
I left the Cross ( I think it was the Cross ?? ) at about six or seven in the morning , battled off the insistent dodgy looking minicab drivers " No I don't want a lift to hellville in your pile of shit excuse for a car thanks !!! " And took myself for a walk across London eventually finding an open Tube station . After falling onto/into a tube train , I made my way home , finished off the drugs , watched an episode of some Jamie Oliver thing in 3D ( wasn't supposed to be 3D but Hey ! it looked that way ) and stumbled into bed at about 10 am ... Ooooo !!!
Sooo , Saturday was completely written off and Sunday was just Sunday , took myself for lunch , read the Sunday Papers etc. etc.
And now I have returned to tell the tale of battles won and fair maidens looked at !!!
Soooo , Benny scale of Fuckedness = 900 ... Well done that man !!
This week is busy busy , three band nights .... Mon ( O shit that's tonight ? ) , Wed , Thurs .. Friday it's the club and Tues a day in the home studio !!
Oooofff .
Right , I'm starving so I'm going for lunch ..
Ta ra !
O yeah before I go .. I was talking to some girl the other week at a party ( very pretty little thing ) and I said to her " So what's your name then ? " perfectly good question I thought ..
And she says " What did you just say ? "
Me " Sooo , what's your name then ? "
Her " You are kidding aren't you ? "
Me " Errr noooo , It's only a question , you don't have to answer , I won't hold it against you "
Her " I've been in your life for like eight years and you don't even know my fucking name !!!! "
Me " Errrr noooo , I guess I've never noticed you before babe "
Beeep , Wrong answer me , do not pass GO , do not collect fuckin anything , go straight to the doghouse without a bone !!
Me " You must have changed your hair or something ? "
Her " Just Fuck off !!! "
Woops a daisy , there she goes , not a happy bunny , big fuckin oil spill in the ole bird sanctuary of life then Eh . Park that bus on a knife edge , chuck the keys out of the window and shoot the fukin driver won't you mate ...
" Anyone else while I'm here , Nooo , I'll get my coat then "
And I still don't know her fukin name ?
Why don't I think that that was the end of that little situation ?
It's all too confusing for little old me !!
Right , food , bye !!
posted by london cokehead at 12:37 pm
5 Comments:
By forgetting her name you have entered the FOREST OF DESPAIR.
There is no escape.
EVER.
EVER.
EVER.
Diamonds/oysters/sushi/cashmere/foot rubs.
NONE of that will work.
You better hope she wasn;t anybody important.
dude, just use 'honey' for girls and 'man' for guys. easypeasy.
I'd been calling her babe .. honey , mate etc. for about an hour and I thought it was about time I knew her real name ... Only about eight years too late I guess ..
Damn those drugs !
" Errrr noooo , I guess I've never noticed you before babe. "
Ouch.
I winced when I read that.
I've had the same problem many times. If ever in doubt, get one of your mates to introduce himself and listen attentively. Had to do the rigamarole at a concert this weekend with a girl in line. Worked out great - not for me - she went off with the friend once we got inside.
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