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Wednesday, November 09, 2005

Proper nutjob !!

Ha .... Thats funny ,

I take a break from work about an hout ago and go down to the local supermarket for some shopping . Anyway I'm kinda stoned so I potter around doing my shop thing .. I arrive at the checkout and the woman starts to ring all of my shopping through the till , as one does !!

Ok .. Sooo I start to bag all my shopping and there's this kid next to me who's still got his bags on the end of the till and I'm thinking " come on mate , get your shit out of the fukin way some of us haven't got all day you know "

This kid's just looking at me and sorta smiling , so I'm getting A. paranoid ( I'm stoned remember ) and B. fukin angry cos he aint moved his stuff yet ?? , so I keep bagging all the stuff up and I'm thinking " Bloody ell mate , you've bought some fukin strange stuff here avent you ? " .

This kid's still fukin staring at me and I'm starting to get really pissed at him now .. So fuck this I say to him " Yeah ... Fukin problem mate " and he says " No mate I'm just enjoying the VIP treatment ", So I'm like " What fukin VIP treatment would that be then mate ? " And he says " You mate , packing all my bags !! " .. " What ? " , I look back up the line and he's fukin right .. This kid has bought virtually ( apart from one or two items ) the same groceries that I have , and I'm packing his fukin bags for him ..

You fukin doughnut !!

Well me and him and the bird on the till all burst out laughing at the same time ..

For fucks sake !!!

I just look at him and murmer the first thing that comes into my head ... " Cunt !!! "

Note to self : Don't get fukin stoned and go to the supermarket ... Idiot !!

I had the giggles all the way home ...

I'm still working so I'm afraid that's it !!!

Proper nightclub clearing device ... Gotta have one of these !!


Anonymous Heather said...

I also never shop stoned for such reason, not too mention that I always end up buying way more then intended - especially sweets!!!

10:46 pm  
Blogger mcdolph said...

drugs are for mugs, innit!

12:37 am  
Blogger sheriff of nothing said...

hahaha nice one! hope he said thanks

9:29 am  
Blogger NeverEnough said...


7:04 pm  
Blogger headphonesex said...

Supermarkets are the only place I can't cope with stoned.... all that beeping & all those bright lights. Brrr.....

I think it's god's way of telling you that Tescos is evil.

12:27 am  
Blogger Alabama said...

Tee Hee Hee

12:58 am  
Blogger london cokehead said...

Yep , Tesco's is pure evil weevil !!

1:04 pm  
Blogger ty bluesmith said...


i went to work stoned last nite and couldn't look a motherfucker in the eye to save my life.

7:51 pm  

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