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Friday, November 04, 2005

Stop fukin fiddling ... Twat !!

Sooo ... Another good band night last night , the headlining band were a bunch of Nineteen year olds who are currently riding high in the British charts ... Good , yeah ... U2 potential ...errr.. No !!

U2's political message at 19 = Sunday bloody Sunday

Theirs = Why don't you all go home and fuck your parents ??? Ummm , interesting !!

Decent bunch of lads though , hope you all do well ... You made me feel fukin old though ... O well !!

So yeah , the gig ... Full of sixteen year old , full of press ( The Sun , Daily Mail , NME , News of the world , Karang , fukin everyone ) ... In fact there was so much press that at one point I was trying to get on the stage to fix a dodgy keyboard DI box and literally couldn't get there so had to leave it , didn't even have to turn the strobe light on coz the flash guns were doing the job for me ... Fukin wish I was nineteen again !!

Soooo , good gig , except for one thing ... Their fukin tour manager ..

Early doors he says to me : " I usually engineer this band but I heard you sound checking the last band , so if you want to do it , you can engineer them "

Me : " Errr Ok mate no problem "

Note to him : " If you want me too engineer your band , then let me get on with the fukin job please cunty face "

Gawwwd talk about back seat fukin engineer , the guy kept running into the soundbooth and fiddling with the fukin mixing desk .. He kept un-doing whatever I was doing and when say a vocal would start to feed back , the twat would run away and leave me to sort it out .. What a fukin idiot .. I knew that the guy didn't have a fukin clue because he was boosting completely the wrong fukin frequencies on shit .. After a few years of doing my job you sort of know what will work and what won't , when your just starting out it's all a bit of pot luck and experimentation, this guy was all about the fukin experimentation stage I can tell ya .. Rubbbish engineer ..

At one point I says to him " listen mate , can you please stop fukin fiddling .. It sounds fantastic and then you come and fuck it all up "

Him " I'm just changing eq's for different songs "

Me : " Mate , thats totally totally fukin unnescesary kid ... Just fukin leave it .... ALONE !! "

Arrrrggghhh ... Fukin amateur night at the apollo ..

Anyway , halfway through the gig , one of the press photographers from a well know music tech mag comes up to me and says " Would you mind if I take your picture from behing the mixing desk mate "

Me " No problem mate "

Fukin amateur boy clocks this and just as I'm about to be photographed he jumps in ( like a child would have ) and pushes me out of the way to steal the fukin limelight ... What a fukin doughnut , first class twat !!!

On any other night I would have lost the plot with this guy but I'm thinking whatever mate ... What-fukin-ever !!! , the press guy came back when matey boy dissapeared anyway and did some more shots "

" Who the fuck was that " he says ..

" Tour manager " I reply

" Oh ... nice guy " ..

" Yep ....complete arsehole if you ask me "

" Yep !!! "

So yeah , apart from that a good night was had by all ..

I'm in a lot of pain this morning though as I decided to buy some milk from a garage on the way home and miscalculated a two foot high brick wall ... Thwack , flat on my face , big chunk out of my shin , grazed elbow , skin off my hands and a big lump on my forehead .. Oooopsydaisy ... there it goes ... Fukin stupid place to put a wall anyway ??

So yeah .. Pain , ouch !!

Club tonight , joy of joys !!!

I hungry so I'm off out for Lunch ...

Listening to Robbie Williams " Intensive care " ... Shite Robbie , complete fukin shite , try working with that bloke who wrote all the decent songs for you again mate .. Err Guy Chambers I think you call him , you must remember him Robs , he's the one that made you a multimillionaire and stuff , I've got his number if you need it Robbie mate ( and you really really fukin do kid ) Oh and get somebody who knows how to put a bit of bollocks into a mix mate because I think my speakers have just turned anemic and thrown up luv , no further comment really !!!

Right , food ... Bye !!

4 Comments:

Blogger dialupcelt said...

Hope you are not feeling too sore!

12:18 pm  
Blogger london cokehead said...

Very sore I'm afraid !!!

12:24 pm  
Blogger mr. tomas ubik said...

its a wonder how the help can feel so empowered. Thirst for fame as an odd effect on the help.

4:56 pm  
Blogger ty bluesmith said...

yo

8:20 pm  

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