Simple really .. When you think about it !!
Sooo , what a weekend .. Spent the entire weekend surrounded by beautiful women .. My mates L and I and S plus of course Little Misstress who was celebrating her Birthday ... I bought her a nice watercolour paint set as she wants to paint stuff !! , gawd knows what's gonna come out of that little creative mind of hers , interesting ... Ummm !!
So we all went partying at a little club in West London and did drugs and had a dance and fell over etc ...
My mate T ( bloke ) , walks into the club about 10.30 with this girl in tow that he's on a hot date with ( lets just call her X for now !! ) , trouble is that on Friday night T had slept with I ( one of the girls I was out with ) and then made the excuse that he was too tired to go out with us all on Sat night ...
So T's walked in with X when I's on the dancefloor = potentially explosive situation if I sees X with T or T and X meet eye to eye with I ... Fuck me this is starting to sound like a fukin Physics lesson ..
So if the nightclub = N
And I sees X with T or T and I meet eye to eye with X in N ....
Then naturally ...
T+X+I+N = Critical mass = Kaboom !!!
Are you all with me on this ??
So Me ( LCH ) and L and little Mistress ( LM ) grab T and X and steer T + X away from I who's on the dancefloor ( DF ) and I ( me ) fill T in on the situation about I while trying not too alert X as to what is going down between T and I ... Phew !!
T gets with the plan and tells X that there's a bloke he rather not see in N and that they should go for a Thai Curry ( TC ) in Notting hill ( NH ) on Portobello Road ( PR ) instead ... X agrees ( thank fuck ) ... So T and X leave N via exit ( Ex ) to avoid I on DF now dancing with L so that I won't see eye too eye with T + X and they go for a TC in NH on PR ...
Conclusion : To avoid critical mass of T+X+I+N ... A catalyst of LCH + LM will steer T + X away via Ex to avoid T + X from reacting with I + L on DF of N and then T + X will go for TC in NH on PR ..
Simple really ... But if T + X + I .... O fuck it !!
Mission accomplished ....
Ummm !!
Anyway ......
Benny scale of Fuckedness = 890
I had one of those fukin dreams last night where I was still at school in the middle of my final exams and I realise that I haven't revised anything on the exam paper !! Arrgggghhh major panic time ... I woke up in a cold sweat and the relief when I realised that it was just a dream was fukin overwhelming ... I hate that dream , big time !!!
It all boiled down to the fact that I'd forgotten my packed lunch ???
What the fuck is that about ??
I have the day off , so I'm going to go shopping and stock up the cupboards with food !!
What's tomorrow ? O yeah , another band night ... Whoppie fukin dooo !!!
Right .... Shopping !!
O and ... Please , this aint news ... Tell us something that we don't know !!
So we all went partying at a little club in West London and did drugs and had a dance and fell over etc ...
My mate T ( bloke ) , walks into the club about 10.30 with this girl in tow that he's on a hot date with ( lets just call her X for now !! ) , trouble is that on Friday night T had slept with I ( one of the girls I was out with ) and then made the excuse that he was too tired to go out with us all on Sat night ...
So T's walked in with X when I's on the dancefloor = potentially explosive situation if I sees X with T or T and X meet eye to eye with I ... Fuck me this is starting to sound like a fukin Physics lesson ..
So if the nightclub = N
And I sees X with T or T and I meet eye to eye with X in N ....
Then naturally ...
T+X+I+N = Critical mass = Kaboom !!!
Are you all with me on this ??
So Me ( LCH ) and L and little Mistress ( LM ) grab T and X and steer T + X away from I who's on the dancefloor ( DF ) and I ( me ) fill T in on the situation about I while trying not too alert X as to what is going down between T and I ... Phew !!
T gets with the plan and tells X that there's a bloke he rather not see in N and that they should go for a Thai Curry ( TC ) in Notting hill ( NH ) on Portobello Road ( PR ) instead ... X agrees ( thank fuck ) ... So T and X leave N via exit ( Ex ) to avoid I on DF now dancing with L so that I won't see eye too eye with T + X and they go for a TC in NH on PR ...
Conclusion : To avoid critical mass of T+X+I+N ... A catalyst of LCH + LM will steer T + X away via Ex to avoid T + X from reacting with I + L on DF of N and then T + X will go for TC in NH on PR ..
Simple really ... But if T + X + I .... O fuck it !!
Mission accomplished ....
Ummm !!
Anyway ......
Benny scale of Fuckedness = 890
I had one of those fukin dreams last night where I was still at school in the middle of my final exams and I realise that I haven't revised anything on the exam paper !! Arrgggghhh major panic time ... I woke up in a cold sweat and the relief when I realised that it was just a dream was fukin overwhelming ... I hate that dream , big time !!!
It all boiled down to the fact that I'd forgotten my packed lunch ???
What the fuck is that about ??
I have the day off , so I'm going to go shopping and stock up the cupboards with food !!
What's tomorrow ? O yeah , another band night ... Whoppie fukin dooo !!!
Right .... Shopping !!
O and ... Please , this aint news ... Tell us something that we don't know !!
posted by london cokehead at 1:06 pm
10 Comments:
WTF?
He he !! It's all in the equation ?
So. About the BBC article and cocaine. I'm curious. Do you ever think about not doing coke ever again? Will you always do it?
Is your nose going to fall off eventually? Does that really happen?
So many questions. Sorry.
Smartypants , all the time babe , all the time ... I think my nose is ok at the moment , I know people who've like been doing cocaine for 20 years and believe you me , they all still have noses !!
Ha funny , there'd be a hell of lot of noseless people in London , L.A. , NY. etc if that were true ( although it does happen ) ...
It's not an article for the Beeb, it's a script and I ain't wrote it yet so I don't know what it's gonna be about ?
Tblue , feelin the luv man .. Ummm , tall hotties , yum , yum !!
haha nice one, you're a funny cunt, so you are.
Well, at least your nose is ok. Whenever you write about doing coke, I always think, "Oh Lord. His poor nose. I hope it doesn't fall off."
As far as the script, I was referring to the BBC coke article you linked to in your last post.
You *should* write a script though.
O , ok !!
feel free to come on in and check it out anytime. :)
i genuinely followed that clearly from start to finish. I think I should've been in science.
I tried calculus once, took a class , the whole nine. Gave 'er my all, thought I had it...got the mark. Thirty-fukin-nine percent out of 100.
This is massively late as a comment, but I couldn't help laughing about that dream you said you had. I have a similar one about my dissertation being late - I handed it in more than 10 years ago.
Post a Comment
<< Home