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Monday, October 10, 2005

Simple really .. When you think about it !!

Sooo , what a weekend .. Spent the entire weekend surrounded by beautiful women .. My mates L and I and S plus of course Little Misstress who was celebrating her Birthday ... I bought her a nice watercolour paint set as she wants to paint stuff !! , gawd knows what's gonna come out of that little creative mind of hers , interesting ... Ummm !!

So we all went partying at a little club in West London and did drugs and had a dance and fell over etc ...

My mate T ( bloke ) , walks into the club about 10.30 with this girl in tow that he's on a hot date with ( lets just call her X for now !! ) , trouble is that on Friday night T had slept with I ( one of the girls I was out with ) and then made the excuse that he was too tired to go out with us all on Sat night ...

So T's walked in with X when I's on the dancefloor = potentially explosive situation if I sees X with T or T and X meet eye to eye with I ... Fuck me this is starting to sound like a fukin Physics lesson ..

So if the nightclub = N

And I sees X with T or T and I meet eye to eye with X in N ....

Then naturally ...

T+X+I+N = Critical mass = Kaboom !!!

Are you all with me on this ??

So Me ( LCH ) and L and little Mistress ( LM ) grab T and X and steer T + X away from I who's on the dancefloor ( DF ) and I ( me ) fill T in on the situation about I while trying not too alert X as to what is going down between T and I ... Phew !!

T gets with the plan and tells X that there's a bloke he rather not see in N and that they should go for a Thai Curry ( TC ) in Notting hill ( NH ) on Portobello Road ( PR ) instead ... X agrees ( thank fuck ) ... So T and X leave N via exit ( Ex ) to avoid I on DF now dancing with L so that I won't see eye too eye with T + X and they go for a TC in NH on PR ...

Conclusion : To avoid critical mass of T+X+I+N ... A catalyst of LCH + LM will steer T + X away via Ex to avoid T + X from reacting with I + L on DF of N and then T + X will go for TC in NH on PR ..

Simple really ... But if T + X + I .... O fuck it !!

Mission accomplished ....

Ummm !!

Anyway ......

Benny scale of Fuckedness = 890

I had one of those fukin dreams last night where I was still at school in the middle of my final exams and I realise that I haven't revised anything on the exam paper !! Arrgggghhh major panic time ... I woke up in a cold sweat and the relief when I realised that it was just a dream was fukin overwhelming ... I hate that dream , big time !!!

It all boiled down to the fact that I'd forgotten my packed lunch ???

What the fuck is that about ??

I have the day off , so I'm going to go shopping and stock up the cupboards with food !!

What's tomorrow ? O yeah , another band night ... Whoppie fukin dooo !!!

Right .... Shopping !!

O and ... Please , this aint news ... Tell us something that we don't know !!


Blogger Doom/Blondie said...


2:31 am  
Blogger london cokehead said...

He he !! It's all in the equation ?

2:48 am  
Blogger Smartypants said...

So. About the BBC article and cocaine. I'm curious. Do you ever think about not doing coke ever again? Will you always do it?

Is your nose going to fall off eventually? Does that really happen?

So many questions. Sorry.

3:23 am  
Blogger ty bluesmith said...

i'm kinda goin several different ways and it's lasted a good two weeks at least and i lurve that,


which gives me the courage to ask just what the fuck am i supposed to keep saying over and over?

that YOur blog fucking rocks?

that no other motherfucker has your stories?

i mean.

i'm starting to feel like i'm riding your nuts.

but goddamn, man.

i love reading this blog.

peace out.

three hours of sleep and then that front of the skull headache await.

at least i got a tall hottie to make it all good in the middle.

rock on.

wired is as wired does.

pip pip and cheerio, mate.

6:17 am  
Blogger london cokehead said...

Smartypants , all the time babe , all the time ... I think my nose is ok at the moment , I know people who've like been doing cocaine for 20 years and believe you me , they all still have noses !!

Ha funny , there'd be a hell of lot of noseless people in London , L.A. , NY. etc if that were true ( although it does happen ) ...

It's not an article for the Beeb, it's a script and I ain't wrote it yet so I don't know what it's gonna be about ?

Tblue , feelin the luv man .. Ummm , tall hotties , yum , yum !!

10:20 am  
Blogger mcdolph said...

haha nice one, you're a funny cunt, so you are.

10:59 am  
Blogger Smartypants said...

Well, at least your nose is ok. Whenever you write about doing coke, I always think, "Oh Lord. His poor nose. I hope it doesn't fall off."

As far as the script, I was referring to the BBC coke article you linked to in your last post.

You *should* write a script though.

7:59 pm  
Blogger london cokehead said...

O , ok !!

1:02 am  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

site at: **SLOT CAR**

6:43 am  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

feel free to come on in and check it out anytime. :)

7:18 am  
Blogger mr. tomas ubik said...

i genuinely followed that clearly from start to finish. I think I should've been in science.

I tried calculus once, took a class , the whole nine. Gave 'er my all, thought I had the mark. Thirty-fukin-nine percent out of 100.

4:16 pm  
Blogger sheriff of nothing said...

Nice one..

11:39 pm  
Anonymous Poleshift said...

This is massively late as a comment, but I couldn't help laughing about that dream you said you had. I have a similar one about my dissertation being late - I handed it in more than 10 years ago.

7:02 pm  

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