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Monday, September 03, 2007

Good gig ( really, really ) bad gig!

Sooo.

Hmmm!

Lost it with the band a bit ( actually a lot ) at the weekend.

Not their fault, just me being a complete fukin dick after a not particularly nice incident with a complete fukin idiot of a festival bouncer.

It kinda went like this (as far as I remember.)

OK so I was in a wicked mood after a really great gig, we all kicked ass and then some, the in-house engineer nods at me post gig and says: " Fuck me mate, way cool band!"

We all get pissed out of our minds, as you do when the gig's good. I'm having loads of fun doing what I do best.

It gets to around 2 or 3 am and I've kinda had enough so I go looking for the tour bus. I find what I think is the bus ( I could've been wrong but.. ) and proceed to open the door, it's locked though so I try the other side door...all locked

I'm just about to try the back door when this fukin dickhead of an Irish 6ft6 bouncer literally grabs me and starts having a go about me trying to break into the van. I explain, but this cunts having nothing to do with it. We get into a pretty heated argument " You calling me a liar mate??" etc. etc. etc.

Anyway, this twat starts getting physical with me? He's gets me in a headlock and starts to march me off god knows where. I free myself, but...he grabs me again in a headlock again and marches me off again down a dark alley. Of course I know what's coming, he ain't trying to throw me out or anything, Oh no! Too fukin easy, he ( and his other meat head mate who's now arrived on the scene ) are gonna find a spot away from the main area and kick the crap out of me???

Luckily my mate has clocked all this and he starts shouting at the guy to let me go. He won't of course and in the tussle that follows this bouncer stands on my shoe, pulling it off and then proceeds to kick it into the bushes.

WANKER!!!

I'm getting fukin angry again just writing about this!!

This all goes on for a few more minutes down a dark pathway, a all the while I'm managing to steer this tosser away from any really dark areas I can see and towards other people for my own safety.

My mate is pleading with this fukin meat head, but there ain't a lot he can do really as his bouncers mate is starting to have a go at him as well??

This...I'm thinking is gonna go horribly fukin pair-shaped any minute now.

I spot a police car and turn this guy towards it. He ( luckily ) spots it too and lets go.

Thank fuck, coz if those two had had there way, I'd be in hospital or worse by now.

I know this for sure.

My mate ( I actually had a go at him at the time, but the guy deserves a medal) then puts me in a cab and I return to the hotel in one fukin hell of a bad mood.

I'm talking a completely off the rails bad mood here?

Richter scale off the rails mood.

I go to bed and sleep.

I wake the next morning and I'm still fukin livid, especially when I realise I don't actually have any shoes to wear for the journey home. Nobody else had a spare pair either.

"I'll just fukin deal with it," I told myself??

Sooo... We all get on the tour bus for the trip home ( I'm still pretty damn pissed off at this point ) I'm telling the story in a hail of foul language when J ( one of the band members ) cracks a joke something along the lines of: "Wouldn't wanna be in your shoes mate!"

Wrong answer mate...

I completely lost the plot at this point

Fukin...big time!

It didn't get violent, but fuck me it was close... Far too close for comfort really!

I couldn't help it... I was wound to the fukin core by the events of the previous night.

Ouch!

Everything came out, and I mean fukin everything.

For the next 30mins I became uber uber rock-n-roll five year old dickhead of the year.

And then some.

It retrospect it was stupid, embarrassing and totally out of order on my behalf. But it's done and I can't change that!

Stoopid!

Quite surprised I still have a job if you want the truth. I've had to do some proper apologising today and I'm gonna have to be on my best behavior for some time from now. But, to be honest, that's not such a bad thing. There's been loads of dummy spitting incidents in the band of late (not just by me I might add)

I think it may be time to cool off before we all get a reputation??

For stupid five year old behavior.

So yeah, I had to suffer the embarrassment of traveling through Gatwick airport in just my socks?

Not fun...but doable all the same I guess?

One thing I've learned though: Nobody ( and I mean nobody ) actually looks at your feet??

Silly, silly, silly!

Tonight I'm just gonna crack open a bottle of wine, watch a film, and feel pretty sorry for myself.

Shame, cos I had such a great time apart from that.

Even Lennon got smashed as well you know!

Chocolate rain to cheer me up ( I know, you've seen it but hey! )

Pics of gig tomorrow ( when I get new batteries for my camera )

Ouch!!

Laters

3 Comments:

Blogger Lippy said...

Sorry about the bouncer - seems were all doing toddler turns at the moment, you with your tantrum and me with my imaginary friend!! (well imaginary child)

8:25 am  
Blogger london cokehead said...

I hear you!

5:51 pm  
Blogger Nobody Girl said...

We all throw our toys at some point, with a touring schedule like you guys have had, I'd have have a tantrum within weeks! Hope you're ok :)

12:48 pm  

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