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Thursday, June 28, 2007

Glastonbury[Day Two] E marks the vagueness

Sooo: Glastonbury Day two.

I awoke to the pitter patter of lovely raindrops lashing down on my tent and after taking about half a minute to come around I thought to myself " Oh fukin bugger it!"

Sooo I donned my already caked in mud wellies and ventured outside of the tent and up to the vile toilet block, looked at the shower and thought " Fuck it, bacon sandwich and a cup of tea time!" Worst cup of tea I've ever drunk I think, bacon sandwich was OK though. By this time the rest of the gang were up so we all went walkies eventually ending up at Chai Wallahs a kinda hippy tea shack thing with live bands playing and also a good friend of J the guitarists and JB the bassists. The rain had stopped, so we all pulled up chairs and smoked spliffs out the back of the stall. Finally for the first time I got to relax.

All good.

Sooo we stayed at Chai Wallahs for a couple of hours and decided to return to the Dance village backstage area were we ate lunch and got kinda pissed till about 2 in the afternoon. The guitarist J got a little more drunk than the rest of us and started playing silly buggers, but hey, what can you do?

We all went to see my mate T from Sugardaddy do his gig, great gig by the way, and an even better pink tracksuit?? Nuff said.

Ok, back to the Backstage area, more booze was drunk. Getting kinda pissed myself at this point.

What next?


J is a good mate of Howard Marks, so off we trotted to Howard's caravan for a spliff and a chat and, quite frankly, the cleanest line of coke I think I've ever done.

Thanks Howard.... you rule.

All good indeedy.

Howard was introducing one of the bands in Dance tent East, so off we trot (through the mud, agian.) to the stage where I bumped into my mate Lee from the Plump DJ's. Lee's like' " Wanna line of MDMA?" and I'm like: " Yeah why the fuck not!!" We did, and then watched Hybrid from the side of the stage. I saw like twenty minutes and then decided to go for a wonder.

By this time I've lost J and his girlfriend, so I go back to the Backstage area ( through the mud once more ) and sit having a pint by myself feeling a little bored to be honest.

But... no sooner have I sat down when this guy dressed as the king of bling pops his head over and he's like: " ........!!!!" I'm confused? He takes his shades off and it's only my old mate V who I ain't seen for years. " How the fuck are you? " I say. "Wicked!" he says, we launch into this old time nostalgia conversation.

Pic of V and girl ( who dressed me up ) much later on [in the night]:

I'm like: " Where can I score some drugs mate? "

V: " You wanna line mate?"

Me: " Damn right¿ "

We find an abandoned dressing room and V pulls out this huge bag of drugs.


V's like: " So what you up to tonight?"

Me: " No fukin Idea mate? "

V: " Well I'm going up to Lost vagueness casino, wanna come?'

Me: " Where, eh? Why the fuck not!"

V: " You have to get dressed up and shit!"

Me: " Why the fuck not!"

Sooo, off we trot through the mud ( for miles ) to the Lost Vagueness casino, a kinda festival within the festival.

All good!

We arrive about 1am via an impromptu Madness ( the 80's band ) gig which was fukin unreal and I'm ushered into the Los Vague dressing room where I get stripped and dressed up by this girl ( the one in the pic above )

Kinda sexy...tiz nice.

Off I trot into the casino dressed in a pinstriped suit with pimp style purple shirt and kind of a Moroccan type hat/furry crown thing ( + wellies )

V gives me an MDMA capsule which is soooo strong that within half an hour I don't know where the fuck I am, and...don't really care to be honest.

Many many shenanigans take place, including taking part in the world biggest (most people) snog with this gorgeous girl who was a presenter from the shopping channel (don't ask, no really, don't! )

Lost Vagueness casino was fukin brilliant, I had I madder than mad time.

I was flying with the pigeons, doin my pimp style thang, and generally misbehaving like some mad sex pimperloonie?

Twas a lot of fun.

The glitter ball at one point was like, sooo glittery that I thought I was in outer space.

The scantly clad trapeze artist flying around it didn't help really??

You have no fukin idea!!

I was seeing treble.

And then some.

There were cabaret acts, and pole dancing women, and trapeze artists and people playing roulette and and...

Time of my life.

But all things must eventually end.


It gets to like 7 am and the reality of actually getting back to the tent kicks in. I get changed into the clobber I arrived in after flirting with the cloakroom girl for several hours and make my way back ( through the mud ) the several miles to ground zero via a coffee shop thing.

Me: " You got any alchohol mate?"

Coffee bloke: "We only do alchohol in coffee...Irish Style mate."

Me: " Well can I have a treble brandy in a coffee, minus the coffee bit?"

CB: " I guess "

He did.

I drank.


I staggered back to the tent in several different directions.

Got to the tent at around 8:30 and just wiped out.

Big smile on my face.

Good night?

You bet ya it fukin was!!!


All good

Day three coming up.



Blogger bedshaped said...

Now that's what I'm talking about!
And you get to spend a little time chatting with Howard!
I'm filled with both jealousy and admiration, my friend.

11:49 am  
Blogger london cokehead said...

Twas good!!

12:11 pm  
Blogger PooterGeek said...

One for you, I think.

1:13 pm  
Blogger london cokehead said...

HA! That's brilliant...

1:21 pm  
Blogger Nobody Girl said...

Hehe..sounds like a weird and wonderful day! Looking forward to reading about Day 3 now :)

3:55 pm  
Blogger london cokehead said...

Up soon...

5:10 pm  

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