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Saturday, June 16, 2007

I'm only trying to turn the sound back on mate?

Sooo, we ran an Asian R&B UK garage night in room 2 of the club last night.

Bad idea!

Not many clubs in Central London will take these nights on. I personally told them not to run it coz the last time we ran one of these nights, the club became a crime scene and ended up on the 9 o'clock news.

1 person was stabbed to within an inch of their life, 1 pregnant woman was taken to hospital after being kicked in the stomach? (I question why a pregnant woman was clubbing anyway but... ) About 30 separate fights broke out and the back stairway looked like a slaughterhouse.

I kid you not!

Blood smeared down the walls and everything?

Yep I wouldn't touch this crowd with a barge pole, they're a bunch of Racist ( yeah you heard me right ) Asian wannabe pretendy gangsters who think they're all from the hood ( exactly which hood breeds rich UK Asians I've yet to work out ) all with a chip on their shoulders the size of Birmingham?

But... The Asian promoters were: " Very nice guys when they came to see us, I can't understand it?"

Yeah, just wait till they've all had a drink!

This is no way a racist comment ( merely an observation on my part ) but... I've yet to meet a young Asian who can handle any large amount of booze. The two just don't mix, period.

They get pissed after two pints, but then proceed to try and down eight.

Silly!

Was I right?

Yeah!

By 11 o'clock we'd seen about 8 fights, those thrown out were still arguing their cases with the door security, the sound system, after numerous shouting matches between myself and the DJ's was being flogged to death ( the amp room was like a fukin sauna ) the crowd was descending into chaos, and the bar staff were looking like they'd all lost a relative the previous day i.e. Really really pissed off!

For most of the night I just kept out the way but... The whole electrical system decided to trip out and I found myself having to wade through the ( way over capacity ) crowd to the plant room to reset the breakers and thus reboot the whole shebang.

I very nearly lost the plot as I was nudged in the back several times in a " You don't belong in this crowd mate" sorta way??

These people are nice as pie sober, but.. give em a few drinks and they become nasty little racist twats??

Upon arriving [at the plant room], I was greeted by this little 5 foot cunt who proceeded to stand in the way of the door with his arms folded and his legs apart wannabe gangster stylee. I moved him out the way, he tried to move back. I moved him out the way again, he started pushing me. He looks me dead in the eye and he's like: " Wot?"

Me: " Get out the way!"

Him: " Wadda you wannnt?"

Me: " Just get out the fukin way will you!!"

Him: " Waahhh you think your ard!"

Me: " Listen son, do you want the fukin music back on or what?"

Him: " Errr, oh yeah, you work here....sorry"

Idiot.

Anyway, as I was trying to punch the key code into the plant room door to get access, this twat and his mate were like, falling all over me pissed.

It took me 5 attempts to punch in the correct sequence? When I did finally get the door open, I had to push two of them off just to swing the fukin thing open?

Sooo, I reset all the breakers and the system comes back on-line but... The Dj has everything set to max on the mixer so the whole thing comes back on line full volume and trips out again.

For fucks sake??

So this means making my way through the crowd, to the DJ box, to turn everything down and then back to the plant room to reset everything again.

By this point...I'm spitting fire!!

I'm just about to re-enter the plant room when I hear: " Ear.. mate, do you know what you doin, don't look like it to me??"

Wrong fukin answer!

How I didn't pull that guy into the plant room and beat the shit out of him , I just don't know?

So I reset the breakers and it all comes back on line. But...these cunts have decided to block the door so I can't get back out!

FFFFfffffffFFFffFfff!!!!!

I just took a run from the back of the plant room and hit the door full force. About five of the fukers go flying onto the dance floor as I shoot through the door like a runaway steam train.

At this point the security ( thank gawd ) have clocked this cos the lights are back on, they grab the offenders and eject em from the club. Leaving me a nice little escape route back up to the sanctuary of room one.

You wouldn't think I was just trying to help these twats get their night going again???

I donno why I bother!

The night ends after no real further events till I leave the club and door blocking twat is waiting outside for me. He's staring me out with his arms folded in his little gangster like way.

What was he thinking? Really!!

Sooo, instead of me running away and him giving chase ( which I think is what he was expecting me to do ) I just walked over and pushed him straight over the bench he was standing in front of.

Yeah, you fukin think mate ?

The guy is sooo pissed he literally can't get back up.

I thought about it, but...just walked away; what's the point.

He would've only returned the next week with a couple of Old Bill and his Dad in tow.

Doughnut!!

Bad night.

Got in around four, watched a film and went to bed.

It's pissing me off just writing this up.

I'm going to the pub instead.

Oooo it's starting to thunder, I love thunder, it fukin rules!

Going to watch.

Laters.

2 Comments:

Blogger Jo said...

I used to go to alot of garage nights a few years back...seen soo many fights, so much moodiness, got sprayed with cs gas on the way out of one, someone had a gun at another... in the end it took the fun out and the attitude of the crowd took away from the music. I completely know what you woulda gone through at this event! No wonder that scene's on its way out. Why can't people just rave it up n enjoy the music? N..as a side note, bit ironic, but most of the moody bastards at the nights i used to go to were doing copious amounts of coke...

10:38 pm  
Blogger london cokehead said...

I hear you Jo, but coke is just an exaggerator of a pre-existing mood.

So if it's a good night it'll get better, but if it's a shit night, it'll all go tits up pretty quickly!

11:03 pm  

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