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Wednesday, July 26, 2006

The complete A to Z's part one

Ok, considering the world seems to be hot on blowing the shit out of lesser nations at the mo, I offer you the:

Top Secret Millitary Commanders A to Z of all things war (eyes only)

A complete parenting guide.


A is for Airstrike: Little plane, big fukin bombs, fly in, blow shit up, fly out...Magic

B is for Bomb: Gotta love the little fuckers!

C is for Cluster Bomb: Big bomb with little bomblets. Exciting stuff, like fireworks but with more body parts.

D is for death: Woohoo...lets go!!

E is for Enemy: Anybody who's not us and needs a good seeing to.

F is for Fighting: Kick some ass, kickity kickity kick kick!

G is for gattling gun: One trigger, many many shinny flyey killy bits...Uber chop chop!

H is for Hand to Hand combat: Not good this one, a wee bit risky.

I is for incendiary device: Fire...death...Joy!

J is for : Jolly good show old bean, that'll teach the little wombat fuckers a lesson!

K is for kill: Kill Kill Kill Kill Kill Kill....woohoo, good skills!

L is for Military Law: Naaa fuck that! Stupid idea.

M is for Military machine: Guns and ships and bombs Hoorah!!

N is for Nukes: Lovely jubbly, roast those chestnuts. Like dropping the sun on the little fukers heads. You just can't go wrong with a nuke really, better order shit loads!

O is for: Oh my gawd, did you see the little twats head pop off?

P is for Payload: The more the merrier! Fill em up, whatch em go, where they stop, nobody knows. Top!

Q is for Quaint little village: Not any more fuck brains! Big pile of useless fukin rubble. Looking good, looking real good!

R is for Risk assesment: Him or Me, Hmmm...Errr him, kabooom!!

R is also for Radar: See ya...wouldn't wanna be ya!

S is for SAS: Send em in, they're the dogs bollocks at blowing shit up and stuff.

T is for Tank: Little van, big fukin gun....Yey!!

U is for UN: Big fukin bunch of annoying spoily sport wankers...Boo Hiss Rah!!

V is for Victory: as in "smells like" ( no, not teen spirit...tosser!)

W is for War: "War! what is it good for?" Fukin stop pissing about and blow some shit up!

X is for X-40: we can blow you up from space as well.

Y is for Yield: The big numbers are way better.

Z is Zero Point: The bit in a Nuke explosion where you definitely don't wanna be hangin out eating chips.

And that's about the size of that!

And...It's a funny old world really?

No really it is!


For what it's worth!!

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Anonymous Juicy MJ said...

you had me rollin'...
if no one appreciates you, i do.
your homour always makes my day.

4:58 am  
Blogger london cokehead said...

It's ok, we lost the pub quiz last night to a team who had a palm pilot on the internet. So I came home in a real shitty mood!!

11:01 am  
Blogger Doom/Blondie said...

fuck cheating mother fuckers on a pub quiz

11:49 am  
Blogger london cokehead said...

Yeah, tell me about it!!

11:54 am  
Anonymous Mark said...

Nice list LC. I'd say "G" is for Gunship as gattlin' guns are sooo 1800s, but the rest of the "G" description could still be used. And "L" is for Laser guided! It helps make for great video for CNN.

I know, everyone is a critic.

7:01 am  
Blogger london cokehead said...

I disagree, the AC130 spectre gunship has one hell of a gattling gun poking out the side of it..

Uber uber chop chop!

11:03 am  
Anonymous Mark said...

...backs away head bowed with an overwhelming sense of, "D'oh!"

7:06 am  
Blogger london cokehead said...

Fair enough, the gattling gun has evolved you know..


4:38 am  

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