Testing time

Make you own church sign thing goin on, hours of fun!

Sooo, I gave in on the Sasha thing, the venue manager wasn't going for it and I was sick of banging my head off the wall. Talk about missed opportunity. Jeez louise, this guy needs a serious kick in the who's who in the world of clubbing pants?

Doughnut.

Bad venue skillz.

London's cooling down so I may boot the studio back up later on. Today I've been sorting bank stuff out for the label and then I went shopping for my Niece's birthday prezzy.

Funny really, I'm stood in the queue in Waterstones (book shop) and the till guy's taking ages to get anything done, you know the type; slow, student, goth, nurrrrhead.

Anyway, as I'm standing I see this book titled "British citizenship test study guide" Sooo I pick it up and start to read it for a laugh, "Yeah, I'm British, walk in the park that shit!"

WRONG!!!

Fuck me, If I took that test today I would be booted out of the country faster than you can say: "Two cream teas and a butterd scone plea......." Thwack!!

"OUT! And don't fukin come back!"

Sample questions

1.In the 16th and 17th centuries, who came to Britain from France to escape political persecution?

Errrr...Some French people with like, errr baguettes and shit?

2.What is the name and the date of the National Day of Wales?

Errrr... National like, Leek day fest thing with errr dragons and stuff, oh! And valleys, yeah that's it Valleyday. No, no, got it, it's that bloke, yeah it's Tom Jones day?

3. What is the population of Scotland?

Oh yeah, know this one... 3 no! 5...and a half?, can I have a clue please?

Hmmm!

4.When did Britain join the European Economic Community?

Oh gawd... I donno, what the fuck, fukin Christmas, Santa Claus, no Rudolf...Tinsel.

Oh bollocks, just kick me out, I give in!!

Glad I live here already eh!

Ok, my version:

1. If you spill somebody's pint, what'll 'appen?

2. What's a spuggy?

3. Name five commonly used British swear words?

4. Eastern European people come to the U.K. for what reason? expound in 200 words or less!

5. Maggie Thatcher Out, Out, Out! Define?

6. How much is a gramme of Charlie ( Northern England...Speed or 2 pills?)

7. Explain the following words: Shag, Slag, Geezer, Twat! and Rozzer

And

8. What is a plank?

There, and that's that!

So Steven Hawking is writing a childrens book , should be kinda fun eh?

Sooo, they all lived happily ever after in a non-spacelike geodesic that is only finitely extendible into the past!!

Hmmm!!

The Karate kid does his thing!

And last but not least... Just cancel the fukin account mate??? Your complete guide to 'Won't take no for an answer' school of business.

Laters