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Thursday, October 13, 2005

Music.Alt.crap.uk

Oooof , I'm hungover today ...

After a day in the studio , we went to watch the England match at the local pub and then got absolutely trollied so now my head hurts ... A lot !!

I got roped into engineering an alternative music night .... Woopie fukin doo !!

Note to the alternative band night bands : Oh , is that what you call it .. Alternative music ... More like complete toss to me people ... Avent Guard ?? , " Avent got a fukin clue more like !! "

So halfway through this band ( Well suppose that's what you'd call it ) this bands manager comes up to me and says " Can you make that snare drum sound a bit tighter mate ? "

Me : " Yeah mate no problem "

But I'm really thinking ... What's the fukin point mate ... If you can pick out the snare drum sound in the midst of all that racket then you should be doing my job , cos I can't hear a fukin thing ...

I'm watching this band play ... 1 sax , 1 clarinet , 1 trombone , 1 drummer , bass , two guitars , 1 cheapo Yamaha keyboard ( the sort that you 'd pay 20 quid for down the local market ) and a Little Japanese thing shouting , No ! , screaming at the microphone .. and I'm thinking " I wonder if you know ... Do you really go home at night thinking that your band is the bees knees or do you actually know how bad you really are ?? "

My advice .. Don't give up your day jobs people !!

Still I suppose it only makes the good bands sound better .. Well actually it makes the bad bands sound better but that's a different story ..

I was glad to get out of the venue and go home ..

The last band ran over the kerfew and the bar venue manager shouts over too me ( from the other side of the club ) ... His exact words ( in a thick Irish accent ) " What the fucks going on , turn this fucking shite off , we don't let the fucking good bands play 15mins over never mind this poor fucking excuse for fucking horse manure stuck to the bottom of my fucking shoe , can you actually play those fucking instruments or have you just stolen them from the local fucking village hall down the road ? , you'll scare off the fukin pidgeons if you're not fucking lucky !! "

Hee hee ... Well said that man !!

Gawd I feel rough people !!

Gonna cook some food ... Thai green curry a la me .. me thinks !!

O Yeah , Gotta have one of these it would be rude not too !!

Right food !!

4 Comments:

Blogger LTNA said...

Sheriff is right. They just keep coming out with new ones every other month and making people feel like chumps. Good thing I'm too poor to buy one in the first place.

8:27 pm  
Blogger Gianluca Di Milano said...

london coco, what is the best cokes you are ever smell in your life? Also my freind was say me that in london you can to buy cokes from the tesco now because they are want to help the evryones. Is a true?

3:23 pm  
Blogger london cokehead said...

Gianluca .. Peruvian flake uncut from the source , very nice but also very fukin deadly ..

And no you can't buy coke in Tesco ( aprt from the drinking variety ) ..


I wish you could though !!

6:03 pm  
Blogger roxyfoxy said...

can you link my site all new to me just thought we had something in common !!
http//thedevilsdandruff.blogspot.com

9:19 am  

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