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Monday, April 16, 2007

My vacuum cleaner is a fukin strange creature!

Sooo, I woke up this morning in a real shitty, post touring, down, depressed mood.

It happens, not a problem really, I call it kinda: 'stepping back into the real world syndrome'.

Anyways, it turned out to be one of those days that just sorta got better and better as it all panned out.

Stuff got sorted, phone calls where made and received, new ideas where talked about, the sun came out and it all seemed to turn on it's head by midday.

Thank gawd.

Sooo, I decided ( in my infinite wisdom ) to have a couple of pints down the local, come home and then clean and air the flat.

Windows open, cleaning products out, all dusty dusty round and shit.

Next step hoover the floors.

Mr vacuum comes out of hiding for a good spritely runabout.

But... Only on his own fukin terms.


You see Mr vacuum has a mind of his own. He kinda works for twenty minutes and then throws a: "Right mate, that's it, done enough!!" strop and proceeds to shut down ??

This...has been a mystery to me for quite some time..

He's not overheating, he's not full of crap, he hasn't blown a fuse, he hasn't bunged up.

The damn thing just shuts off like he's saying: " No, no more, that's it, I'm on strike, fuck you, I'm done!!"


Complete fukin mystery.

What's even more of a mystery is that the stupid thing won't work for the rest of the sodding day?

No matter what I do?

I kid you not.

But...I can guarantee that the next day I'll get out of bed, make a cuppa tea, brush my teeth, blah blah blah and... I can go over to Mr vacuum, flick the switch and vrooom, off we go again??


Sinister even....

The damn thing's possessed

Next time, I'm gonna leave him switched on overnight.

Just to see what time he goes back into action?

Bet it's like 3:15

Harry the fukin Polterhoovergeist

If only I could get him to hoover the flat himself?


There's a thought

Or I could just get a new girlfriend


The holy grail (but a bit different)

I first saw this as a kid, but it's still amazing to watch all the years later... The power of Ten

Eat my Thai green curry


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Anonymous liz said...

"Right, that´s it, fuck you, I´m done"
Got sacked from the easiest job on the planet. (Yes, it had to do with vacuming.)

Am now available as a girlfriend:
friendly,patient, speak German, Spanish and Hoovarian.

9:02 pm  
Anonymous Jo said...

My vacuum doesn't even pick up anything even when it works. Makes me feel better about myself just running it over the floor every now and then though. 'At least I tried...'

11:08 am  
Blogger Doom/Blondie said...


You've seen that movie too!

(it was shit)


12:38 pm  
Blogger london cokehead said...

it's a reference to the original The Amityville Horror film...

If that's what you mean mate?

2:58 pm  
Blogger Nobody Girl said...

I know I should comment about the contents of your post..but actually I just wanted to complain that because of this blog I've had a craving for thai green curry all day. I went, I bought, I ate. I feel better now. Thank you. Good night.

9:25 pm  
Blogger london cokehead said...

You need to learn to cook your own


9:49 pm  
Blogger Doom/Blondie said...


I was talking about The Exorcism of Emily Rose.

I'm sure that has this thing about the significant of 3:15 being an EVIL TIME.

1:32 am  
Blogger london cokehead said...

Nooo, was talking bout

George would always awaken at 3:15

Scary stuff mate..

Bet the Emily Rose thing was a "Oh look I've just made a horror film good enough to reference a classic, so I will" Thang!!



2:34 am  
Blogger london cokehead said...

The 3:15 could be a reference to Genesis 3:15

"And I will put enmity between thee and the woman, and between thy seed and her seed; it shall bruise thy head, and thou shalt bruise his heel."

And if you can work that one out, your a better man than I am!!


2:37 am  

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