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Wednesday, October 17, 2007

Fukin fuck fuckety fukin DJ's

Sooo: No I'm not.. shut up!!


The other night ( in fact on two occasions recently ) I had trouble mixing vocals above a band in the venue. This particular occasion I knew the singer really well and I know that he has a hugely powerful voice?

But it sounded really bad!!

Anyway...I got to the venue tonight determined to get to the root of the problem. Armed with my fave ( venue testing ) music I booted up the main speaker rig and within minutes I was realising my worst ( speaker ) nightmare.

Just to be on the safe side I kicked in the desk oscillator and did a full frequency sweep 30 hz to 18Khz.

In laymans speak: I am a man on a bicycle going up a rather steep hill, the bottom of the hill represents bass, the middle of the hill treble, the top of the hill... high frequency sound.

I digress

Anyway I peddles ( sweeps the oscillator ) to 350hz ( halfway up the hill ) and Mr Bicycle disappears... completely?

He only reappears at 4K ( bit further up the hill, but not quite at the top )???


This means only one thing; While I've been away touring, the guy I hired to stop DJ's basically blowing up the system every night ain't done his job properly.

There's a big pothole where Mr Bike falls of the fukin radar halfway up the sodding hill only to appear somewhere near the top?

Or.... Some fukin Dj has blown up half of my ( extremely expensive ) live band/Dj rig speakers.

Fukin deaf DJ cunts!!!

I have 2 new midrange speakers on order.

At £1000 per fukin unit.

Am I happy... no I'm sodding not!!!

Note to all deaf DJ's... In the red means bad.

It ain't rocket sciences lads... Red light ( same as traffic lights ) means STOP... or it's TOO FUKIN LOUD!!!

I've narrowed it down to one DJ, sat night ( also the promoter ) playing loud as fuck and not caring about the consequences; to my system or the ears of his punters???

He'll care when he gets the fukin bill.

Pissed... Yes, yes I am.

On a positive note, Bibi landed herself a new job.

Now she's like, Bibi international advertising executive.

Earning about 3 times what I earn.

I'm in the wrong fukin game I swear to gawd.

Going to bed



Blogger Lippy said...

Congrats to Bibi on the very cool new job!

1:26 pm  
Blogger Turtle said...

It's always a crap shoot leaving gear in the hands of somone that's not...YOU!

Gratz to Bibi! Hope you two are enjoying yourselves!

BTW, does she know of your blog?

6:09 pm  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

yeah, we all know that red means bad.
the problem is that venues want to stop djs from turning the sound up. so the venue turns the system down on their end.

hence, the only way for the dj to get any sound out of the system is too run everything in the red at the dj mixer. and yes it sounds like shit as a result.

5:39 am  
Blogger london cokehead said...

Anon: We're running Martin Audio H3 and s218 bass units. They can kick out 122db. If you can't get a decent level out of them, then you are seriously deaf!!

8:51 am  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

cokehead, I put your blog entry on the forum, the resulting discussion (including anon's comment)

10:20 am  

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