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Saturday, June 30, 2007

Glastonbury [Day four] Just get me the fuck out of here!!

Sooo: I awoke at 6am to the sound of a torrential downpour going on outside. The tent had finally given in sooo the bottom of my sleeping bag had a puddle in it that was, for once, not caused by myself (only kidding.) ?

Damp, freezing cold, soaking feet, sore back, bad head...not good.

Not good at all.

I just switched off and went back to sleep. Fuck it, there wasn't a lot that I could do.

I kept waking up at regular intervals right through until 10 am, probably due to the onset of trench foot, probably due to the intensity of the rain, probably due to my survival instincts telling me to get the fuck out of there and go and find somewhere warm.

About 9:30 some fucker tripped over one of my tent guy ropes and due to the colourful use of language: " Fuck cunt fuck it fuck cunt!!! " and the splosh and subsequent loud splash , I guess this person fell face down in the mud.

Poor bugger!

The guy rope twang sounded like a bomb had gone off in the tent.

I drifted back to sleep not giving a toss for somebody suffering outside of the tent, I was doing enough of that myself inside the bloody thing.

10 am and I thought: "Enough is enough mate," I re-established the foot to welly thing and went to find a bacon sandwich.

It was pissing down with rain outside and I was faced with a thousand unhappy [wet] faces making their way from the cesspit that Glastonbury had become to the sanctuary of the outside world.

I sat, bacon sandwich and cup of tea in hand, elbows tucked in, hands clasped, knees together, hood up over hat, shivering my fukin arse off on a bench, by myself, feeling very very lonely in the breakfast tent; wishing I had a girl to snuggle into...

No such fukin luck eh!

This guy comes up to me and he's like: "Got any pills mate?" I didn't even reply, I just looked at him in a kinda: " Your fukin mad as a fish geeze now go the fuck away !!" way.

I returned to the tent, pull all the pegs out and spend the next twenty miserable minutes trying to pack the thing away. If I hadn't of borrowed it off my mate V, I would have just left the fukin thing on the spot and walked the fuck away.

At this point, there was no fun anymore...merely tolerance.

Character building moment some would say. Personally I would say " Fukin nightmare!"

So I get the tent put away and go and meet the gang at the bus, chuck my stuff in the back, get in and just sit there; shell shocked.

Thank fuck, I was on my way home.

We drive out of Glastonbury, out of the mud, back to the real world.

I smile.

See ya!!

I'm still shell shocked by the time we reach the service station 60 miles down the road.

The Burger King queue was full of muddy people (in wellies) craving whatever it was they crave, I don't think any of us really knew.

I never thought I'd be sooo happy to see the first signs to London.

I got home at around 7pm, chucked the tent in the garage to dry, made a cup of tea, had a swig of rum, spent about 40mins in a hot shower and went to bed.

Job done!

Glastonbury... Interesting!!

Glad it was all over really if you want the truth.

And that was my Glastonbury in a nutshell.




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