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Thursday, July 27, 2006

Borg borg borg!


Soooo, Todays post come in the form of chapter 12 of the Book of Revelations as translated by The Swedish Chef from The Muppet Show:

12:1 A greet seegn ves seee in heefee: a vumun cluzeed veet zee soon, und zee muun under her feet, und oon her heed a croon ooff tvelfe-a sters.

12:2 She-a ves veet cheeld. She-a creeed oooot in peeen, leboreeng tu geefe-a burt.

12:3 Unuzeer seegn ves seee in heefee. Behuld, a greet red dregun, hefeeng sefee heeds und tee hurns, und oon hees heeds sefee croons.

12:4 Hees teeel droo oone-a thurd ooff zee sters ooff zee sky, und throo zeem tu zee iert. Zee dregun stuud beffure-a zee vumun vhu ves ebooot tu geefe-a burt, su thet vhee she-a gefe-a burt he-a meeght defuoor her cheeld.

12:5 She-a gefe-a burt tu a sun, a mele-a cheeld, vhu is tu roole-a ell zee neshuns veet a rud ooff irun. Her cheeld ves cooght up tu Gud, und tu hees thrune-a.

12:6 Zee vumun fled intu zee veelderness, vhere-a she-a hes a plece-a prepered by Gud, thet zeere-a zeey mey nuooreesh her oone-a thuoosund tvu hoondred seexty deys.

12:7 Zeere-a ves ver in zee sky. Meecheel und hees ungels mede-a ver oon zee dregun. Zee dregun und hees ungels mede-a ver.

12:8 Zeey deedn't prefeeel, neeezeer ves a plece-a fuoond fur heem uny mure-a in heefee.

12:9 Zee greet dregun ves throon doon, zee oold serpent, he-a vhu is celled zee defeel und Setun, zee deceeefer ooff zee vhule-a vurld. He-a ves throon doon tu zee iert, und hees ungels vere-a throon doon veet heem.

12:10 I heerd a luood fueece-a in heefee, seyeeng, "Noo is cume-a zee selfeshun, zee pooer, und zee Keengdum ooff oooor Gud, und zee oothureety ooff hees Chreest; fur zee eccooser ooff oooor bruzeers hes beee throon doon, vhu eccooses zeem beffure-a oooor Gud dey und neeght.

12:11 Zeey ooferceme-a heem becoose-a ooff zee Lemb's bluud, und becoose-a ooff zee vurd ooff zeeur testimuny. Zeey deedn't lufe-a zeeur leeffe-a, ifee tu deet.

12:12 Zeereffure-a rejueece-a, heefens, und yuoo vhu dvell in zeem. Vue-a tu zee iert und tu zee sea, becoose-a zee defeel hes gune-a doon tu yuoo, hefeeng greet vret, knooeeng thet he-a hes boot a shurt time-a."

12:13 Vhee zee dregun sev thet he-a ves throon doon tu zee iert, he-a persecooted zee vumun vhu gefe-a burt tu zee mele-a cheeld.

12:14 Tvu veengs ooff zee greet iegle-a vere-a geefee tu zee vumun, thet she-a meeght fly intu zee veelderness tu her plece-a, su thet she-a meeght be-a nuooreeshed fur a time-a, und times, und helff a time-a, frum zee fece-a ooff zee serpent.

12:15 Zee serpent spooed veter oooot ooff hees muoot effter zee vumun leeke-a a reefer, thet he-a meeght coose-a her tu be-a cerreeed evey by zee streem.

12:16 Zee iert helped zee vumun, und zee iert oopened its muoot und svellooed up zee reefer vheech zee dregun spooed oooot ooff hees muoot.

12:17 Zee dregun groo ungry veet zee vumun, und vent evey tu meke-a ver veet zee rest ooff her seed, vhu keep Gud's cummundments und huld Jesoos' testimuny.

Translate your own material Chef stylee by using This handy Firefox plug in. Totally essential!

Coming soon... The Ten Commandments as read by The Clangers

And

War and Peace featuring the Teletubbies.

No! No! No! Auntie Beeb. Just coz our politicians prefer 70's music does not make them out of touch with modern culture. I prefer 70's music and I am definitely not out of fukin touch. The reason they are all listening to old music is that all the new stuff coming out is complete wazak shit toss cocksucker fukin bedwetting shite!!

Now print some real fukin stories for fucks sake, and stop making up non-fukin-news!!

Like I do!!

We did some stupid things as kids, but this takes the dumb fuck of the year award in my book!

Ok, Im trying to do some work in the home studio, but it's just too damn hot!!

Hmm, what to do?

Laters

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8 Comments:

Blogger Doom/Blondie said...

fuck me is that video stupid

12:10 pm  
Blogger london cokehead said...

Yep, way stupid..

You'll have somebodies eye out doing that!

12:31 pm  
Blogger Drstrcprstskrzkrk said...

Well, I'm sure you do know this, but there is a lot of new decent music coming out (although you're unlikely to hear it on the radio or find it on iTunes). Boomkat are pretty good source for interesting stuff that usually doesn't involve hairy metal riffage.

3:13 pm  
Blogger london cokehead said...

Yep, I agree.. But non of it is hitting the mainstream, and that's where the money is!

And as somebody who makes a living from music, I find it all a bit disheartening..

6:37 pm  
Blogger Ivar said...

it's not that stupid (he says as he goes to get his bike and a few friends and heads to the park)

but i love the chocolate moose!

7:15 pm  
Blogger Drstrcprstskrzkrk said...

It is a problem - out of the many people I know who work "in" music only about 2% (painstakingly worked out statistic, not just off the top of my head, y'know) actually make their living "from" music. And, annoyingly, all the cash that gets spent on music is on utter dross (and that's also where most of the so-called "piracy" goes on). At least most people I know actually try and buy the music that they like (because, let's face it, they probably know the people who made it).

8:52 pm  
Blogger Angry_Bonobo said...

Hey Cokehead
I'm going to a wedding with the Mrs in October - we're staying at K West in Hammersmith. Any suggestions around that part of london?

12:12 am  
Blogger london cokehead said...

K West is more Shepherds bush, which is a bit lame for going out. But..go across the road to Shepherds Bush tube station and go 2 stops up the central line to Nottinghill and your in interesting bar central. Most of the good bars in Nottinghill Gate are hidden on the High street behind unexpected doors so look around and observe what at first you don't see.

Hope that helps ;0)

1:06 am  

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