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Thursday, February 09, 2006

The Grumbly Awards

Sooo , I've just woken up and it's bloody freezing in my flat , so I guess it's bloody freezin outside too .. There are blue skys and I can see the sun for once , but I guess it's still bloody freezing out there eh !!


The Grammy Awards 2006 ( or as I call um , ' The Grumbly awards ' )

Big fukin drumroll and trumpet fanfare ...... Da daaa daaaaaarrrr aarrrrup !!!!

Sooo , what have we learned today kiddies ?

Firstly :

Best electronic/dance album

Push the Button - The Chemical Brothers
Also nominated:
Human After All - Daft Punk
Palookaville - Fatboy Slim
Minimum/Maxium - Kraftwerk
LCD Soundsystem - LCD Soundsystem

Ok , I kinda agree with Push the Button ... But , who in their right fukin mind nominated Human After All- Daft Punk , I have it as my worst album of last year , it's fukin terrible and I mean really fukin terrible and also Palookaville ?? This didn't even skim the water in England and If I can remember rightly , we all cracked up in the studio when we listenend to his version of ' The Joker ' it is as it says it is , a fukin joke ... Minimum/Maximum is a great album , but it's just a live album of all their old stuff ??

Come on Lads , there's some fukin amazing electronic/dance music out there at the moment , why are you sticking to the easy ( we haven't really heard any of it , but the girl in the office said she liked it , so it must be good ) route ...

If you wanna do a dance album catagory , then find someone who knows something about dance music ...

Best dance song
Galvanize - The Chemical Brothers
Also nominated:
Say Hello - Deep Dish
Wonderful Night - Fatboy Slim and Lateef
Daft Punk is Playing at My House - LCD Soundsystem
I Believe in You - Kylie Minogue
Guilt is a Useless Emotion - New Order

Ok , I sorta agree with Galvanize again , but as for the rest ? Well you ( the judgy people ) are really not listening to anything dance that's not been force feed to you with a straw , are you ... Oh and by the way , that Kylie tune is a POP tune ?? It didn't play in any of the clubs that I go to , duh !!!

Yep , same shit ... Different year ..

I could go on about the other catagories .. but I really can't be arsed ..

Nice to see U2 up there ( again ) , that's kinda safe ( yeah everyone will agree with that , we'll be ok if we do that again ) .. Don't get me wrong , I love ' Sometimes you can't make it on your own ' , but the bass is not EQ'd at all well and it's far too loud in the mix ..

And as far as ' Boulevard of broken Dreams-Green day ' as record of the year .. Pah , rubbish ..

Example of the lyrics ..

I walk this empty street
On the Boulevard of Broken Dreams
Where the city sleeps
and I'm the only one and I walk alone

I walk alone
I walk alone

I walk alone
I walk a...

My shadow's the only one that walks beside me
My shallow heart's the only thing that's beating
Sometimes I wish someone out there will find me
'Til then I walk alone

Ah-ah, Ah-ah, Ah-ah, Aaah-ah,
Ah-ah, Ah-ah, Ah-ah............................... ?

Woooaaaahhh , genius lyrics , I bow down , I'm not worthy , it even says the word ( tee hee , he said it again ) fucked in the middle , so it must be good ... Ooooo !!!!

Sooo , the Grammys ... Safer than a bottle of JD at an AA meet , I think not !!

Ummm ...

So tonight , I've doing some R & B P.A. thing so it'll be easy peezy .. These R & B people rarely come with bands ( in fact never apart from at big gigs , but believe me the band ain't plugged in ) so it's always a couple of mics and a backing track ...

Bloody late licence though , so I don't get out of work till 3am .. Bugger !!

Note to R & B singers of the world ( actually this can apply to all gigging singers ) : Stop doing that really annoying trick of holding the mic upside down with your hand covering the mesh part ...Now I know you've seen Eminem do it on T.V. But , it leads to what we call the 'close proximity effect' and makes the fukin speakers feed back like fuck . R & B people always ask for radio mics so that they can do this and that's exactly why they don't get them ... You have been told , so now you know ... " It's feeding back ?? " Yep , why don't you just get on your hands and knees and stick the mic right into the monitor speakers , that'll fix it ??

So yeah .. An easy night for me really ..

Ok , I'm gonna try and brave the cold and go for a greasy spoon down the cafe ..

Bye ..


Blogger Doom/Blondie said...

don;'t get me started again at how fucking diabolical Human After All was.

cos Discovery is the BEST album in the world.


12:10 pm  
Blogger Anne said...

Weird that Pat Metheny won anything...I didn't realize he was still alive :)

As for the rest...I'm just too

5:54 pm  
Blogger Smartypants said...

Didn't. Watch. One. Minute. Of. It.

9:47 pm  
Anonymous tilda said...

I still don't get who actually votes for the Grammy's!!Yes I know it's basically an American thing, and only a few 'lucky?' people from 'abroad' get nominated.. but seriously its a bit too lame. And like you said safe.
I agree with Chemical brothers, not just cos I like them.. but mainly cos I don't know who the fuck the rest are?!

Madonna looked ridiculous though!! How does she stay soo hot?!

9:58 pm  
Blogger pop renaissance said...

it's like having to choose between losing yer arm, leg or ears - all the choices fucking suck.

i do like the fact that i know what to avoid listening to by looking at the nominees.

10:27 pm  
Blogger london cokehead said...

The people who vote for the grumbly's are alien species and should be avoided at all cost ..

There I've said it now !!!

3:57 am  
Blogger pop renaissance said...

you've just offended a bunch of middle-aged twats right there.

4:15 am  

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